All I Want For Christmas…

…Is to learn how to break dance! I mean, I already have the sick moves, ya know, but I need to get to that next level if I want to even come close to competing in the 10th annual Saint Mary's church group dance-off. I think that our friend, Alfonso Ribeiro, is just the man to get me there.     

Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party!: Cool as Ice Edition!

Nothing quite says Ninja like one Mr. Vanilla Ice. Much like a stealth assassin, he snuck past your better judgment and made his way into your boom box, and before you could say NO!, you were playing that funky music and shaving lines into the side of your head (You, not me. Okay, maybe me.). Like a Ninja, he was also a master of disguise, as he was able to convinced America that he was a rapper that came with a certain level of street cred. Much like a Ninja, Vanilla has now snuck past Chuck (he was eating) and made his way onto Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party, with the song, Ninja Rap!

Go Ninja, go Ninja, GO!!!

Ninja Rap was written and performed by Robert Matthew Van Winkle for 1991's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze. Vanilla even makes an appearance in the film itself and performs the song at a club for the movie's action filled finale. While Ooze kind of sucks in comparison to the first and very fun Turtles film, it does have many positive things: Ernie Reyes Jr., Super Shredder, a much hotter April O'Neil, and of course, the Ninja Rap ending! Nothing quite says commercial like getting the hottest sucker to perform a song for your movie, in your movie and what it says about that performer is all that needs to be said. Naw mean?

Still, sucker sell-out or not, I love every second of it! This video is gold from second one with Rob doing the Go Ninja cheer, and all with some super Hip-Hop hand gestures. It shows that even a thug can have fun once in a while too. I also love just how hard he dances…it's like he really means what he's rapping about and to not dance spastically would be holding in his love for Ninja Turtles. You just can't fight back a love like that, and the only way to get it out is with hard and quick head turns that go from left to right. Of course, the lyrics are also quite amazing, with my favorite line being: "Did you ever see a turtle get down?!" It's not my favorite because it's sooo corny…nope, it's my favorite because I have seen a turtle get down, so I can totally relate. I do think the best part of this entire clip is the end, when Robert talks about his experience doing the song and his role in the film. Keep it clean, make it Ice, and Vanilla did just that. Yup-yup, he sure did.

Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party!: Renegade Edition!

Taking a slightly different approach with this edition of Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party, I thought it would be cool to introduce you to the man behind this week's tight tune. This is a cat that truly walks the walk, a dude that garners respect, but does so with a positive attitude and all while wearing black leather boots, paired up with a matching black leather trench. Get ready to pop that collar kids, 'cause it's time to meet, the one, the only, CHILLY-D!

 

Nothing quite says hip-hop like the Renegade Snake Eater, Lorenzo Lamas. His moves and style out on the street are very impressive, but little boot maneuvers and random references to European fashion are nothing compared to what The Lamas is able to do when he's on stage. So, without any further ado, I present Chilly-D performing, Do You Know Who I Am!   

 

Written and performed by the husband and wife musical super duo, Nick Ashford and Valerie Simpson (as Ashford & Simpson), Do You Know Who I Am is taken from 1984's Body Rock. Directed by Marcelo Epstein, Body Rock is yet another entry into the Hip-Hopsploitation genre and is filled with break dancing, graffiti, and of course, rap skillz. Much of this magic was provided, or was made to appear provided, by the great Lorenzo Lamas, which should really tell you everything you need to know. This would mark the first time that a movie featured on Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party is one that I have not actually seen, but I couldn't sit on these clips any longer then I already have…they are pure gold. The skeleton dance scene is magnificent with its glow-in-the-dark neon colors and slow-mo Nunchaku moves thanks to Chilly-D. However, it does get me a little teary eyed as I wonder whatever happened to dj Skele-tone.

Rapper’s Delight

The 80’s were littered with Hip-Hop influenced movies with films like Wild Style, Breakin’, Beat Street, and so on and so forth. For what it’s worth, I love this genre, which I will dub Hip-Hopsploitation since many of them were taking something new and popular, and capitalizing on it (which is still very common today). Some of these films are actually pretty solid, namely the ones I mention above, but there are the few that are a little less respectable, but still oh-so-fun. These movies are a window into the past, a window that’s view is filled with crazy bad outfits, hair styles, and people that probably shouldn’t be picking up a mic for any reason at all.

One of those people that probably shouldn’t have spit any lyrics, is the man known as Mario Van Peebles, in the 1985 film, Rappin’! But boy am I glad he did. Rappin’ is the tale of “Rappin’” John Hood (MVP), whom after getting out of jail, comes back home to find a lot has changed since he went away. Some of his old associates have formed a new rival gang, his girl is dating the gangs leader, and some corporate scum bags are trying to take over the neighborhood by getting rid of the tenants so they can build…I don’t know, something. Probably a mall, or nice houses…the usual.

I think you might have an idea where this film is going from this point, as Rappin’ is many clichés of the genre all “rapped” into one Hip-Hop extravaganza. I don’t even know where to begin with this film, but there is a lot to say for many different reasons. First of all, the movie is certainly not on par with some of the best the genre has to offer, but damn, is it a lot of fun. Some of the rappin’ is so bad and many of the people behind these verbal assaults are far from skilled at the art of rhyme. The biggest offender is certainly MVP, with his monotone voice and lack of natural flow, but it’s MVP’s lack of skill that makes the movie all the more entertaining.

The Many Faces of Hip-Hop

 

 

There are a few familiar faces that show up in Rappin’, besides MVP, of course. There’s Kadeem Hardison, and soul glow himself, Eric La Salle who make up a portion of John Hood’s crew. Also, Hood’s little brother is played by Leo O’Brien, who was in The Last Dragon, a film that gave us our most recent Monster of the Week. Along with familiar faces, the film’s director, Joel Silberg, is treading some very familiar territory with Rappin’. He also directed the before mentioned, Breakin’ as well as the sultry dance movie, Lambada (Totally should have been called, Lambada-in’). So he clearly has a certain thing he does and it would seem he is the guy to call when making a movie that is meant to exploit the latest fad in Urban culture. Though, he did direct Catch the Heat, so that makes his resume all the more versatile. 

Some of the dialogue is beyond classic, with one scene where a record producer asks Hood if he’s ever rapped before, in which Hood respond’s with “No, but I got a record!” Get it?! When it comes to classic dialogue, no one is better than John Hoods arch rival, Duane (Charles Flohe). First off, he has great feathered hair and while he looks perfect to play the part of a rich, white, asshole bully, he is so unconvincing as a street thug. As for some of his choicest lines – “Don’t make me thaw you out, Ice!” When referring to La Salle’s character, who’s name is Ice. Then there’s the moment when Duane grabs Hood’s love interest by the arm kind of harshly, and Hood says “Hey, don’t be so rough on her” or something to that effect. Duane quickly responds with “Hey? Hay is for horses!” Good one, Duane, but I think you forgot about the better for cows part. 

While this film is not the best of the best, it is very fun and a major reason for that is what I like to call, “random acts of Hip-Hop” that occur throughout Rappin’. The viewer is never safe from a random outbreak of rhymes and song from the characters – it can happen at anytime, any place, and anything can set it off. And you know what, even though many of the skills on display are lacking and the lyrics are weak, they certainly are very enjoyable scenes and for some reason, brought a shit eating grin to my face. I wish I could go over them all, but that would take forever, and I’m already at 763 words, so I need to tie things up soon.

I do have to mention Rappin’s end credit sequence, where each of the film’s characters, spit a lyric or two as their name goes by. This includes an old Asian dude, an old Jewish dude, a white, middle aged mother AND her daughter, and many, many more. It’s fucking gold. Then, there is the scene when the people of the neighborhood are trying to fight to stay in their homes and not be driven out. When all else fails, “Rappin’” John Hood and his Merry Men show up and use the influence of rap to convince the city council to their side, so they can stay in their hood! Again, fucking gold. And don’t even get me started on Snack Attack.

So, if you are a fan of this type of film, or Hip-Hop culture, or bad outfits and hair styles of the past, Rappin’ is a blast. It’s plot is messy and it tries to be too many things, but it does succeed at delivering some truly entertaining scenes and some funny moments. Plus, a 10 year old me makes an appearance. 

Thanks for pointing this one out to me, Emily…you rock the party like no one else!