CNAMB 'Turned' 2!

As I sat here reading an old review (that shall remain unnamed), twitching and nearly vomiting at how awful my grammar and sentence structure used to be, I suddenly came to the realization that my birthday should be just around the bend. Not MY birthday, mind you, but the birth of Chuck Norris Ate My Baby, the site that will end the deficit disputes, fix global warming and uncover the mystery of whether or not Jamie Lee Curtis is a bro. Naturally, I immediately checked, only to realize that it was indeed my birthday. Yesterday. Yep, late to my own birthday.

In any event, it was two years ago yesterday, July 30th, 2009 that I posted something that was really meant as nothing more than to simply get any sort of post up so I could get this sumbitch started. Thus, the birth of Chuck Norris Ate My Baby, and the start of a revolution that would change the way people think. Or not. At least one of those things is true.

If I had foreseen this incredible event before it had already passed by, I might have written some sappy fucking thing where I got all introspective and shit, so it's probably good that I forgot. In any event, I MUST say thank you to each and every person that has wasted their time reading anything that I have ever written. I am honored to have any sort of readership, and I hope I am able to generate some sort of emotion out of you all as a payment for spending time with me, my opinions, my bad jokes, and my obsession with writing about the things I love. I also want to thank anyone that has supported CNAMB in any way, shape or form, and that includes people that have supported me and my wife in ways that they already know about. You know who you are, so this song is dedicated to you and you and you! Oh yeah, and you too, I guess.

Birthday Beard!

The one, the only, Chuck Norris, is celebrating his 71st birthday today. Seeing as he is the patriarch of this fine blog you are reading right this very moment, we here at Chuck Norris Ate My Baby (I don't know who I'm referring to when I say we, but it sounds better, right?) would like to wish Mr. Norris a happy 71st birthday, as well as thank him for a whopping 71 years of martial arts excellence.

Birthday Babe!

We here at Chuck Norris Ate My Baby would like to wish the lovely Cynthia Rothrock the happiest of birthdays. May all of your kicks hit high and your shorts stay short, on this, your very special day. That's more of a request, actually. 

CNAMB Turns One! Or 1?! Or Juan?! Whatever.

It's a celebration! One year ago today, I decided that I needed to curb my internet masturbating, but I just wasn't sure what I could do to keep my hairy hands busy. At first I thought about starting a gang, but I then realized I didn't own any nice wife beaters or bandanas. Then I thought about training to become Mr. Universe, but I'm not really all that into physical activity. Well, outside of the masturbating, naturally, but I was trying to stop that, remember? And then it finally dawned on me, I can start my own movie blog and make the world a better place by sharing my opinion about shit normal people don't care about! So I did, and that blog would just so happen to be this one, the one that kisses you on the places you most like to be kissed.

It seems like it has been much longer than a year since I first started this thing, and so much has changed in my personal life since I first clicked publish. Whether things were up or down in the real world, I have found a nice escape here, talking gibberish about movies, making great new friends, and laughing at the silly internet drama that unfolds every two or three months. CNAMB has grown quite a bit in the time since I started it, way more than I would have ever expected, and knowing that great people such as yourself actually take the time to read my random bologna simply warms my heart. Or that could just be the Goldschläger kicking in.

So here's a toast to one year of bad grammar, terribly tasteless dick and fart jokes, and of course, movies! So thanks again everyone, and since it is Friday Night, it would only be fitting to end this birthday celebration with a dance-splosion of epic proportions!

Where Are the Wild Things Exactly? At Paracinema of Course!

Seeing as I recently had a birthday, I thought I would share some of the fine gifts that I received ('cause I know you've been wondering!), which also tie into the review I have up at Paracinema for Where the Wild Things Are. First, I got an Amazon gift card worth $50, which equals $50 worth of DVD's, which equals a lot if I shop S-Mart style.

The rest of the gifts are from my magical girlfriend - ed

Next, I got me this flashy new Boston Barstool Sports Leprechaun t-shirt just in time to celebrate St. Patrick's day. If you aren't already aware, this shirt celebrates what is the finest YouTube video known to man, woman, and animal. 

 

Here is the replacement Fenway Park shirt that I got. As you can see, the old one was getting, well, pretty old, so a new one was more than welcome. I still wore it anyways, which drove my girlfriend nuts as the pits are stained worse than a 2-month-old's diaper. Plus, there are some epic holes in them there armpits, which was great for putting deodorant on while wearing the shirt. 

Next up are the new badass sneakers I got - I love getting me some hot new kicks. I can never have  enough as I go through them fast with all the ass I kick on the dance floor.

And finally, I did get a couple of DVD's, one of which was Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever, which as many of you may know, didn't work out as well as I'd hoped. The second DVD (and final gift) I got was for Where the Wild Things Are, which is the movie that I reviewed over at Paracinema…The Blog. So, if you are curious as to my thoughts of the movie, then head over and check out my review. Hope you enjoyed this fascinating look into a part on my life that could only have bored you to tears.    

Click me to read the review of Where the Wild Things Are!

 

70 Years of Bearded Excellence and Counting…

Happy 70th birthday to the great Chuck Norris from Chuck Norris Ate My Baby!