Sunday, March 7, 2010

2009 Cyber-Horror Awards

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Just in time for the Oscars, the 2009 Cyber-Horror Awards is live and direct for your viewing pleasure. I would guess that many of my readers were contributors, but if you aren't aware of the Cyber-Horror Awards, it's essentially the Oscars for horror as voted by much of the online horror community. It was put together by B-Sol from The Vault of Horror and you can stop by his page for a list of all that contributed to the awards if you're curious as to what chuckle heads besides me made these picks. 

So, head over to the 2009 Cyber-Horror Awards and check out the winners as well as the other nominations, and below I've provided what and who I myself chose for the awards. Unfortunately, while I did see most of the movies involved, I didn't see all of them, which makes me a little sad. Also, we were allowed to write in choices if they weren't listed as nominations as long as they were released, or made available on DVD in the States in 2009. This was the case with one film that I wrote in for three of the biggest spots, so let me know what you think of my picks as well as the winners overall.    

My picks for the 2009 Cyber-Horror Awards!

Ray Harryhausen Award for Best Visual Effects

Coraline

Tom Savini Award for Best Makeup

Greg Nicotero, Drag Me to Hell

Bernard Herrmann Award for Best Score

Bruno Coulais, Coraline

Albert S. D'Agostino Award for Best Production Design

Steve Saklad, Drag Me to Hell

Molly Arbuthnot Award for Best Costume Design

Magali Guidasci, Zombieland

Karl Freund Award for Best Cinematography

Peter Deming, Drag Me to Hell

Curt Siodmak Award for Best Screenplay

Michael Dougherty, Trick ‘r Treat

Linnea Quigley Award for Best Supporting Actress

Lorna Raver, Drag Me to Hell

Dwight Frye Award for Best Supporting Actor

Noah Sagan, Deadgirl

Vincent Price Award for Best Actor

Woody Harrelson, Zombieland

Jame Lee Curtis Award for Best Actress

Morjana Alaoui, Martyrs

David Cronenberg Award for Best Director

Pascal Laugier, Martyrs

Val Lewton Award for Best Film

Martyrs

The Horror Hangover

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It's Oscar morning and I'm sure at least a few of you will be spending the day gearing up for the events, and letdowns of tonight's big occasion. I know I'll be watching, and more than likely getting pissed about the movies/actors that win while so many great movies/performances are just completely overlooked. It is what it is and as long as Christoph Waltz gets what he deserves, I'll be mostly happy. Okay, that's enough jibber jabber about Hollywood fluff, let's get into what I have for this Sunday's Hangover already…

You might want to buckle up for the first movie today as Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead (2008) pulls into SyFy at 11:00. This was on a previous Hangover and I remember thinking that it looked like it could possibly be okay. I did like the first film for what it is and Dead Ahead looks to be more of the same. But what's up with the trucker dude's voice in this one? Sounds like Fred Gwynne in Pet Sematary, but less awesome. 

 

Prepare for mediocrity when Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003) shows up on FX at noon. I tried to watch this movie once and couldn't even make it all the way through, which should tell you just about everything you need to know. Maybe this will be something to appreciate in the future, but I doubt it.

 

At 1:00 Shallow Ground (2005) digs it's way onto SyFy. Even though some of the camera tricks used remind me of late 90's Full Moon features (which is not necessarily a bad thing, mind you), this one has a decent score of 5.2 on IMDB. So it might be worth a shot in the sense that it could be decent, but I would guess otherwise.

 

Up next, SyFy has Hostel (2005) at 3:00, followed by Hostel Part II (2007) at 5:00. I enjoyed Hostel quite a bit and like very few, enjoy the sequel even more so and my reasons why will have to come at a more appropriate time. While I personally consider it a solid pick for pick of the week, there really isn't much competition this weekend either, so I'll make this double dose of terror my pick of the week!

 

At 3:30, the mediocrity from earlier comes full circle with Blade: Trinity (2004) on Spike. Another part 3, that is more like a number 2 (that's code word for poop). This is one that I could only watch in small doses, and while it isn't as bad as T3, it's pretty weak in comparison to the first and especially the second film. I would still watch it, though, but only if it was on at the right time and nothing better was available. 

 

That does it for this week…hope you all have a great night and enjoy the Oscars if you're planning on watching them!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

T.K. Oh Snap!

I feel like this video is everything that CNAMB strives to be in so many ways.

Baby Babble: Lost the Fight With My Private Parts

fight7 For some incredibly awful and soul crushing reason, the other night I accidentally deleted the draft of my review for Fight For Your Life, a draft that was complete and over 950 words. It sucked wicked bad and I'm so irked that it happened that I’m not even going to bother rewriting it. I honestly feel like I lost a part of me with that post and it’s one click disappearance. I use windows live writer, but I clearly need to start saving things to blogger as well as live writer in case something like this happens again. To make things worse, my internet has been sporadically acting wiggity whack (thus, the lack of posts), so I haven't been able  to even get online to look at naked pictures when I want to. Seriously lame.

audrey2

On a much less lame front, Carl from the wonderful land of I like Horror Movies had a little contest a few months back to thank his readers and supporters. I won and of course I was really privatepartshappy about this because there is nothing better than free movies (well, except maybe pancakes). The prize pack that I received consisted of an awesome mini-scale replica of the Audrey 2 from Little Shop of Horrors (which sits nicely on one of my DVD  shelves as seen above!) made by Carl himself and two brand spanking new DVD’s! The first is a film from 2001 titled Blood Moon and the second is Paul Bartel's Private Parts, which is the film I reviewed for the March issue of BThroughZ. It's an interesting read for an interesting movie and I want to thank Carl for my discovery of this odd little Exploitation/Horror film.

So, head over to BThroughZ and please check out my review, as well as the other great content found within the newest issue. And if anyone has ever seen Fight For Your Life, please, let me know what you thought of it.  

ATTENTION!!! This is future Matt-suzaka, and sadly BThroughZ no longer exists, so here is a link to my review of Private Parts which is now located on the very blog you are reading! Enjoy! CLICK HERE!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party: In My Mind's Eye Edition!

donniedarko

For this week's edition of Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party, I had to travel through time to bring you all this hot little ditty from the past. Fresh off the meat rack, this dope track is going to bring you way back, to a time when shit was far from whack! And that time is 1985, and the song in question is Head Over Heels as featured in 2001's time travel cult classic, Donnie Darko.

Head Over Heels was performed by British pop rock band, Tears for Fears and written by band mates Curt Smith and Jon Cryer lookalike, Roland Orzabal. Originally released in 1985 on the album, Songs from the Big Chair, Head Over Heels was one of many major hits from the band in both their native country, as well as in the States. Anyone in my age range remembers the song and band quite well, but I think the song was slightly forgotten about until this notorious scene rolled across screens in Donnie Darko.

In what is one of my all time favorite scenes, Donnie Darko director Richard Kelly, wrote and choreographed the segment specifically with Head Over Heels in in mind. With only the music playing, the one continuous sequence introduces the vast inhabitants of Donnie Darko's world perfectly. In the span of two and a half minutes, you have a basic character introduction for a dozen or so characters, all executed in a natural and simplistic fashion. In that two and a half minutes, you know who is who, who they are, and how they fit into the world created by Kelly. Brilliant scene and one of the best of the last decade, in my opinion. And the song, well, the song is just fantastic to top things off, and no matter how great the scene is, it is Head Over Heels that really seals the deal.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

FreeDUMB of Speech?

censorship

Something was recently brought to my attention that I really thought should be shared with my readers/lovers/fellow bloggers. Something that I found to be quite disturbing. No, it has nothing to do with blog contest nominations, or killer whales THAT KILL, or even the "I am a motherfucker!" bus brawl. Nope, it has to do with a certain criticism that has resulted in quite the internet mess for a certain blogger.

This all started back in the middle of January when Dangerous Jamie posted a critical piece on a UK Horror magazine over at his blog, Let’s Get Dangerous. The post was titled An Open Letter to Gorezone Magazine and was just that, an open letter to the editors of the Gorezone, stating what issues he took with the magazine in question.

This open letter has spawned something of an internet frenzy for Jamie and his blog, mainly because he and his blog have been attacked for his critical comments. There are 176 (and counting…) comments on the post in question, many of which are filled with hateful remarks towards Jamie, his blog and his defenders. Remarks that are filled with violent threats, insults about weight and appearance, homophobia and ill wishes for Jamie’s physical wellbeing. You know, nice things.

Now, I have read the piece and being that I read many reviews and criticism of books, movies, etc…as well as write critical reviews of movies myself, his open letter was anything but a viscous attack on the magazine. He pointed out that there were a lot of grammatical errors to be found in each issue, and he questioned the magazine’s content choices as well as it’s depiction of women. In my very reasonable opinion, he did this in a completely respectable fashion, pointing out some positive aspects of the mag as well.

I have read the magazine in the past, but only a few times, so to be fair, I cannot say whether or not Jamie’s criticisms are true. But what is true, is it’s Jamie’s criticism, his opinion, and he is completely allowed to have an opinion as do you and I. That is where things get a lot sketchier and quite shocking.

Unless Jamie takes down the post, Gorezone has threatened legal action, claiming that his constructive criticism was slanderous and a defamation of character. They are also threatening copy right infringement for his use of a photo that he had in the post, a photo that he found on Google (but has since removed) and is legal to use in the context of a review. Now, this is UK law, so it’s obviously not the same as America, but considering that Gorezone is a horror movie magazine that partakes in critical reviews and are going after someone over a negative review, is a little disheartening.

This is where my big issue comes from. First of all, the thought that someone is being attacked for having an opinion is unacceptable, especially when that opinion is a fair one and not given in a hateful tone. Second, someone be bullied for their opinion is incredibly cowardly and if Shock Till You Drop did the same thing as Let’s Get Dangerous, would this be happening? Hell. No. Gorezone is using threats to force someone to remove their fair opinion, threats that have absolutely no ground. They cannot sue him. If they did, they sure as hell wouldn’t win.

They don’t want to go to court. That's why they’re threatening him, they want to scare him into removing the post. As a blogger, the thought that anyone would try and censor me, is a thought that shouldn’t be. And heaven forbid anyone ever try to. Using clout and false power to push around the little guy is flat out unfathomable as well as a form of bullying. This would be like the filmmakers behind Automation Transfusion threatening me because I trashed their movie, and that thought is sickening.

Besides the legal threats, Jamie claims that 15 of the commenters that left the crude and hate filled remarks on his post are from the same IP address. An address that links back to Gorezone. It’s very easy to track back IP addresses, I have yours right now, so this is something that could very well be true. Still, this is Jamie’s claim, not fact, but it is something that could easily be proven if need be.

What is fact, though, is that one of the administrators at GZ’s forums has not one, but two sticky posts that pertain to this particular subject matter. These posts are very misleading and state that the “blogger” attacked Gorezone, it’s staff and it’s readers. Something that would only be intended to rile up GZ fans indirectly, by playing the victim role. There is even someone that has gone on the GZ forums claiming to be Jamie and has made negative remarks, thus stirring the pot even more.

Why is Gorezone so offended by one blogger’s thoughts? I have no clue, but what they are doing is wrong in so many ways and they are doing nothing but hurting their reputation by treating a horror fan and a budding critic the way they are. I have no ill will or any issue with Gorezone the magazine, or anyone involved, but I do take issue with how they are handling such a situation. From an outsider's perspective, they are clearly in the wrong.

I know this post is a bit long, but I think this is something that's important to everyone of us for a variety of reasons, thus my reason for sharing. I encourage you to read the post, some of the comments, and the GZ forum posts. I have shared my opinion, and now I ask you: Is Jamie’s post deserving of threatened legal action?

Sunday, February 28, 2010

The Horror Hangover

hangover12

Well, it’s Sunday afternoon, your dry heaving, your lungs feel like you smoked ten packs of butts, and your underwear is on backwards…that must mean it’s time for The Horror Hangover!

First up on the karate chopping block, comes a day of Stephen King made for TV mayhem over at SyFy. Starting out with part one of Stephen King’s The Langoliers (1995) at 9:00, followed up with the conclusion at 11:00. If you’re still hankering for some King action after The Langoliers, Part one of Stephen King’s The Tommyknockers (1993) is on at 1:00, with it’s conclusion at 3:00. That’s a 9-5 day of King, a full day of madness, if you will.

 

 

If you aren’t down with the crown, then ABC Family put's 'em in a body bag with an all day marathon of Karate Kid movies! Kicking things off with William Zabka’s The Karate Kid (1984) at 10:00, followed by The Karate Kid Part II (1986) at 12:30, then moving onto The Karate Kid Part III at 3:00, and finally finishing things off with The Next Karate Kid (1994) at 5:30. I love The Karate Kid…it’s a fact. The first two films are just fantastically fun movies that I hold near and dear to my heart and I still want to get my self a yellow outfit like the one Chozen wore, just so I can show up to parties on a zip line. I even love the third movie, but that is in a more cheesy, American Ninja way. Fourth film? Eh. Seriously, dude…there is no better way to spend a day feeling like Miyagi after a night of sake, than to spend it with The Karate Kid!

 

Alright, now that the all-dayers are out of the way, we can move onto Assault on Precinct 13 (2005), which is playing on FX at 10:30. It’s not a terrible movie by any stretch, but it is a remake that added nothing to what was done (with very little) in the original. It is the prime example of a remake that has no real purpose, but it’s watchable and Drea de Matteo is pretty hot. Ethan Hawke can eat it, though. Why does that guy get movie roles?

 

At 2:05, IFC is showing Primer (2004), a film I have never seen, but really want to, as I have heard very good things about it from many people. It’s a complex micro-budget Science Fiction film about time travel and at a scant 77 minutes, Primer is honored with my pick of the week. And just an FYI, it’s also available on Netflix instant view for anyone that doesn’t get a chance to check it out today.

 

3:00 has us finishing off our day with a wet fart, with Escape From L.A. (1996) on AMC. ‘Cause nothing says movie classic, quite like Escape From L.A.! The movie is such a pile, but I can’t help but get a kick out of Snake surfing and playing a little b-ball!

 

Okay baby boomers…I’m out of here. I have to go put on my gi and get ready for the Karate Kid marathon, so I’ll see you all on the flip side!

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