When re-watching Sleepaway Camp for the first time in a long time, I began to notice a pattern. Not a pattern showing how the killer chose his/her victims, or even clues found in the numerous red hearings pointing to who the killer actually is in this 1983 Slasher cult classic. Nope, this was a pattern that included the outfits that many of the film’s male character’s picked out for their summer of fun in the sun.
Sometimes known as booty shorts, daisy dukes, short-shorts, hot pants, jorts (if they’re made of jean, that is), and why the hell is that man wearing those, slut cuts are a brand of short pants that exceed the legal limits of short and cross over into a realm of excessive inner thigh and possible pube sightings. I’m not here to judge these male characters for their odd choices in attire…instead, I am here to celebrate their decision to avoid tan lines, respect, and ambiguity as to how big their plunger is.
Here is an in-depth look, at the semi-nude, butt-cut boys of summer.
“Daddy, that girl’s bikini bottom cover’s more ground than your shorts!”
“Ehh…whatevs.”
“What time should I realize I’m wearing these shorts?!”
“Man, your legs are really looking righteous this summer!”
“Nice to see some of us got the new uniform memo…”
A meeting of the thighs
I think we may have found Snooki’s long lost father
(I actually don’t know if he was lost, so much as he probably ran away!)
Who wears a half-shirt over a sweater?
(I know he’s the same guy, but he is beyond just one photo!)
“HEY! I wanna be the catcher!”
“Bet ya guys can’t get my blue shorts wet! Ha ha ha ha! ”
Them some sexy legs, huh?! But no one in Sleepaway Camp quite has the stem presence like camp consoler Ronnie (Paul DeAngelo), who with his always poking pecker, brings a whole new meaning to the term, less is more.
Ronnie: A God amongst men. Or tennis players in the 80’s
“Hey honey, you’re looking kinda wolfie down there. I got an extra bottle of Nair in the back if your up for a session?”
Ronnie’s version of Capri pants
“You have the right to remain…really hot in those shorts! What gym do you go to?!?”
There ya have it…just a small handful of the impressive wardrobe choices found in Sleepaway Camp. All worn with pride. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna hit the gym so I can do some squats and get ready for summer. Ladies, get ready to take a ride on the thighway when I hit up the beach this year.
