Goosebumps At 33: Be Careful What You Wish For

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!

Despite being the tallest girl on the team (and likely the tallest in the state), Samantha Byrd is terrible at basketball. Her awkward frame and clumsy tendencies create issues both on and off the court, resulting in Samantha being the butt of a number of jokes among her classmates. The most popular diss that is directed towards Samantha is "why don't you go fly away, Byrd?", which is clearly a clever and well-thought out play on Samantha’s last name. I can’t even imagine how long it took her classmates to think that one up.

At any rate, while on her way home from school, Samantha has a run in with a lost, eccentric middle-aged woman named Clarissa. When Samantha helps the woman find her way, Clarissa returns the favor by giving Samantha an amulet and granting her three wishes. Naturally, Samantha takes this as an opportunity to become the best player on her basketball team. While she does indeed become the best player on the team, it comes at the expense of her teammates, who have suddenly lost all of their skills and can barely dribble a ball let alone shot one properly.

As is the case with any tale featuring a character being granted three wishes, Samantha finds herself having to try to fix the mistakes from her previous wish while also benefiting herself in some way, which can only result in even more issues. And boy are there issues. Everything from turning everyone on the entire plant into flies to turning an old enemy into an obsessive best friend, Samantha finds her situation getting worse by the wish. Will Samantha be able to set everything right, or will she be doomed to live with her mistakes for good?

Airing on August 10, 1996, Be Careful What you Wish For is your typical Goosebumps fare, dealing with everything you’d expect from an episode of the television series, including bullies, very bad decisions, overalls, and even an eccentric character tossed in for good measure. And of course, no episode of Goosebumps would be complete without a twist ending, and Be Careful What You Wish For delivers a twist ending that’s hysterically satisfying.

While there have been better and certainly creepier episodes of Goosebumps, you really couldn't ask for a better way to end this season of Goosebumps At 33, as Be Careful What You Wish For is an enjoyable and worthwhile entry into the beloved children’s series. It sorta makes me wish this season wouldn’t end...

Until next time, kiddies, keep your nightlight on and your head under the covers…

Goosebumps At 33: The Return of the Mummy

Return of the Mummy!

While visiting his cousin Sari (Annick Obonsawin) and uncle Ben (Elias Zarou) in Egypt, young Gabe (Daniel DeSanto) finds himself in for the ultimate adventure, filled with thrills, chills, spills, and endless refills! Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but I had some serious momentum going on and simply couldn’t hit the brakes. Anyway, Gabe’s uncle Ben just so happens to be an archeologist, so during his Summer break, Gabe is joining both his uncle Ben and cousin Sari on an important archeological dig with the intent of unearthing the tomb of Prince Khor-Ru. 

Being a complete doofus, Gabe somehow becomes separated from Ben and Sari while inside the tomb. This causes Gabe to take a complete bitch turn, as he proceeds to scream and cry like a child. It’s pretty annoying, especially considering that Gabe is definitely going through puberty. At least that’s what his screeching bitch voice indicates. In any event, during his crying bout, Gabe accidentally stumbles upon the tomb of Prince Khor-Ru, which causes him to cry some more.

Soon enough, Gabe is reunited with Ben and Sari, which gives Sari – who has the face of an 80-year-old woman, but is actually about nine – ample opportunity to make fun of Gabe for being such a crying crybaby who cries all the time. Now, it’s typical in the Goosebumps mythos for a younger kid to make fun of an older kid. And more often than not, it’s a young girl making fun of an older boy, which is emasculating on so many levels. However, when you’re a corny-ass, crybaby like Gabe, you totes deserve it.

In any event, Gabe and Sari eventually find themselves separated from uncle Ben and some random reporter lady who serves a purpose of some sort. This leads to Gabe and Sari coming face-to-face with the titular creature, and from there things get wet and wild, as the mummy begins to unwrap himself and pour baby oil all over his well-preserved bod. It’s totally erotic. Anyway, at some point there’s a reveal involving the Prince Kohr-Ru’s sister who is trying to resurrect him for some reason that I didn't quite understand. After the whole baby oil thing, I was simply too distracted to maintain any sense of comprehension.

Overall a solidly enjoyable episode, the clear standout in The Return of the Mummy is its Egyptian setting. Per my experience, the world of Goosebumps is relegated to suburban neighborhoods, high schools, crack houses. or wherever you might find your average preteen, so it’s refreshing to see such a vastly different setting. It’s also nice seeing another classic movie monster make an appearance on the show. And outside of the weird tan lines beneath his tattered wraps, the mummy looks fantastic.

That about does it for the fifth season of Goosebumps at 33. Hopefully all you fine ladies and gents enjoyed this year’s batch of reviews as much as I did, and I really look forward to Goosebumpin’ n’ grindin’ with you again next year!

Until next time, kiddies, keep your night light on and your head under the covers...

Fun Size (2012): Half-Wrapped

It’s Halloween day, and Wren (Victoria Justice) has been invited to a party by the hottest guy in school. Unfortunately, Wren is stuck having to babysit her little brother, Albert (Jackson Nicoll), putting the kibosh on any party plans she may have. That’s only the beginning of Wren’s problems, however, as later on in the evening, Albert goes missing while they are out trick-or-treating. Joined by her best friend April (Jane Levy), Wren recruits two school nerds, Roosevelt (Thomas Mann) and Peng (Osric Chau), to help her find Albert before her mother discovers that he’s missing. What ensues is a wild night filled with excitement, danger and even a little romance, resulting in an evening where fun has no size. I don’t know what that last part means.  

Written by Max Werner and directed by Josh Schwartz, Fun Size is clearly an attempt to recreate the teen adventure comedies of the 1980s, and while the film has its heart in the right place, the results are ultimately mixed. The film mainly focuses on Wren, a hip hop loving bookworm who’s going through some growing pains after her father passed away a year earlier, something of which has also left a negative effect on her entire family. Wren’s mother (Chelsea Handler) is dealing with the grieving process by dating a 25-year-old guy, whereas her younger brother, Albert, hasn't spoken a single word in over a year.

These character archetypes are far from original, especially within the dynamic of the film as a whole. Each character’s arch basically serves as an intertwining subplot of the film, with time dedicated to Wren trying to find Albert, while Albert is out having what is basically the adventure of a lifetime, something of which leads to the best moments of the film. All the while, Wren and Albert’s mother is off at a party with her 25-year-old boyfriend, which leads to some moderately uninteresting moments of clarity for her character.

The adventure elements aren't as adventurous as one would like. The film’s also quite simple-minded and far from challenging to the viewer, and kids film or not, that's not an acceptable attribute. With that being said, however, Fun Size is still a fairly enjoyable watch, despite its many prominent issues. While things are lacking in the adventure department, the moments with Albert – who spends much of his evening playing pranks with his new buddy, a lonely convenience store employee named Fuzzy (Thomas Middleditch) – are fairly enjoyable to watch. I think what works about these moments is the slightly charming and often humorous relationship between Albert and Fuzzy.

Where Fun Size is most successful is the way in which it delivers on the Halloween goods, and let’s face it, that’s why we’re all here. Well, at least me. In any event, Fun Size goes all out with the Halloween decorations, as each and every home is awesomely (and unrealistically) decorated to the hilt, and the streets are filled with hundreds of children out enjoying an evening of trick or treat. It’s over-the-top and unrealistic in every sense, but I simply adore it and truly wish this was how Halloween was in every single neighborhood across the country.

Aside from being pandering and formulaic, the Halloween infused charm and occasional wit of Fun Size is enough to make it an enjoyable enough watch. It’s no secret that I'm a complete sucker for any movie or television show with scenes featuring a number of children out trick-or-treating on a well decorated street. I also understand that this component does more for me than maybe it should. The Halloween aesthetic certainly softens me up, leaving me quite vulnerable to enjoying movies more than I normally would, something of which I am not at all ashamed of.

Goosebumps At 33: My Hairiest Adventure

My Hairiest Adventure!

When first introduced to Larry (Andrew Bartkiw), he is being chased down by a pack of wild dogs. As this is happening, Larry – as heard through a voiceover – complains about how asinine it is that dogs are considered man's best friend. He then goes on to complain that he has allergies, which only leads me to one conclusion: Larry is a real asshole.

After being chased around by the vicious creatures for a bit, Larry decides to climb a tree to get away from the dogs. Larry’s moment of relief is short-lived, however, as the tree branch he’s sitting on breaks, even though it’s like 13” around. Oddly, though, when Larry lands on the ground, the dogs don’t attack him. In fact, they simply sit there staring at him like he's an asshole. Because he is an asshole, and dogs can sense that kind of shit.

At some point, Larry’s friend Lily (Courtney Greig) rescues Larry from the dogs that aren't attacking him. And thankfully so, as without Larry, I wouldn’t have been given the opportunity to witness the greatest garage band practice scene of all time. We’re talking a keyboard solo performed with a gusto not seen since Elissa in the masterful thriller #HATES. 

After the band finishes rocking the afternoon away, one of Larry’s band mates finds an old bottle of tanning lotion. Immediately the band has a serious discussion about how getting nice and tan would really help them make a great impression for an upcoming audition, so they proceed to rub the tanning lotion all over their skin. Because that’s what you do when you find a random bottle of old tanning lotion in a garage.  

Soon afterward, Larry notices an inordinate amount of hair growing from the top of his hands. His immediate response is to shave it off; however, the hair almost immediately grows back and eventually spreads up his arms and all over his body. Not that we see his body. I mean, this is a kids show, ya know. Anyway, this newfound hair growth is certainly a concern for Larry, but things get even stranger when his friends begin to go missing. Worse yet, their parents suddenly have absolutely no knowledge of their now missing child’s existence.

Taken from the 26th book in the series, My Hairiest Adventure is a clear nod to the werewolf genre, and like some werewolf tales, there is a clear tie to puberty. Which, in all honesty, seems a little out of place in an episode of Goosebumps. I mean, there’s actually a scene where Larry asks Lily if she’s started to notice any hair growing in strange places after using the tanning oil. If that’s not an inappropriate thing to ask, I don’t know what is. Actually, I do, but I’ll keep that to myself.

Overall, My Hairiest Adventure is a very light episode, in that it’s not all too creepy. Well, minus the whole puberty thing, but that’s a different kind of creepy. If there is one major standout in the episode, however, it’s that Larry is a whiny, angsty, lowlife crybaby. In other words, an asshole. Outside of Larry the asshole and hair in strange places, My Hairiest Adventure is far from a memorable episode of Goosebumps, though it does have one great little payoff that ties in with the shows famous opening. It’s not much of a saving grace, but worthy of note. 

Until next time, kiddies, keep your night light on and your head under the covers...

Goosebumps at 33: Piano Lessons Can Be Murder

Previously on Goosebumps At 33…

Well hello boils and ghouls! I am extremely excited to welcome you to a brand spanking new season of Goosebumps At 33! This is the 5th season of Goosebumps At 33, and oh boy are you in for a treat, as this season is set to deliver all sorts of thrills, chills and dolla dolla bills, ya’ll!

For those of you who aren’t hip to all this Goosebumps jazz, I encourage you to jump in my time machine and take a look back at this introductory post. For the rest of you dear brave souls, why don’t you have a seat, take a deep breath, and listen closely as I tell you the horrid tale of…

PAINO LESSONS CAN BE MURDER!!!

Jerry (Ben Cook) is a young boy with a wild imagination filled with aspects of horror, science-fiction and adventure. While moving into a new home, Jerry’s imagination crosses over into reality when he hears a piano playing Ludwig Van Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata… all by itself! This obviously startles Jerry, but when he tells his parents about what he just witnessed, they chalk it up to his imagination and suggest that he gets a hobby to keep his wandering mind occupied. Oddly, they don’t seem to worry about Jerry wearing a spaghetti strainer on his head. Like, not only is it a strange thing to do, it’s highly unsanitary.

Soon after the piano incident, Jerry meets a neighborhood girl named Kim (Erica Luttrell), who gleefully informs Jerry that his new home was previously owned by a piano teacher, something that intrigues Jerry. Later on that night, Jerry once again hears the same song as before, which leads to him heading down to the basement to investigate. When Jerry sees that the pianist is a ghost, he freaks out and runs away, but not before waking his parents by knocking over a bunch of boxes.

Jerry is as frightened as he is fascinated by what is happening in his new home, so he decides that the best way to figure out why there’s a ghost playing the piano in his basement is to take piano lessons. This goes over well with Jerry’s parents, as they believe this will keep him occupied and prevent so many strange outbursts.

While taking piano lessons seems like a pretty innocuous undertaking, the piano school is located in an abandoned factory with some seriously high-end security. Nothing to be ‘alarmed’ about, right? Well, if an abandoned factory and security system isn’t sketch’ enough for you, the fact that Jerry’s piano teacher (Aron Tager) is a flamboyant Santa Claus looking old man obsessed with little boy’s hands might be of concern. That, or the fact that there is a creepy maintenance man (Geza Kovacs) who’s in charge of various red-eyed robots that roam the halls of the factory. Like really, what could go wrong?! 

Taken from the 13th book in the series, Piano Lessons Can Be Murder was the 8th episode in the 1st season of the Goosebumps television series. Overall a solid episode, Piano Lessons Can Be Murder has a bit of a strange but visually interesting finale, filled with twists and turns and turns and twists. Interestingly enough, however, this is one of those rare occurrences where there is no twist at the very end of the episode. The performances are fairly entertaining, and Terry isn’t too obnoxious as the protagonist, though at one point he claims that he can play Stairway to Heaven On the Kazoo. Jerry is obviously a crack head.

Anyway, Piano Lessons Can Be Murder is a nice way to get this year’s Goosebumps at 33 started, and I only hope that the rest of this season brings about a bevy of equally enjoyable Goosebumps goodies! 

Until next time, kiddies, keep your night light on and your head under the covers...

The Worst Witch (1986): Prewitched

While attending a prestigious school for witches, a young girl named Mildred Hubble (Fairuza Balk) simply cannot do anything right. Mildred is quite clumsy and constantly making mistakes, which puts her in the crosshairs of a group of bullies led by a girl named Ethel Hallow (Anna Kipling), who would be best described as your typical perfect student who also happens to come from a very respectable family of witches. Mildred has also found herself on the bad side of Miss Constance Hardbroom (Diana Rigg), a potions teacher who has a low tolerance for screw ups and has absolutely no problem with calling Mildred out for every little mistake she makes. The only people who seem to have Mildred’s back are her best friend, Maud (Danielle Batchelor), and the school’s headmistress, Miss Cackle (Charlotte Rae).

While Mildred is busy struggling with everything from flying on her broom to properly executing magic spells, the school is preparing for a special visit from The Grand Wizard (Tim Curry), which is a VERY big deal for everyone involved. This becomes most obvious during a scene where all the girls are passing around a black and white photo of him during class, with each girl oohing and awing and kissing the photo as if The Grand Wizard were a member of One Direction. All the while, Miss Cackle’s evil twin sister, Agatha Cackle (also played by Charlotte Rae), and a group of devious witches are planning to take over the witch academy and turn all the young, budding witches into young, budding evil witches. What role will Mildred play in all of this? Probably a large one, you know, considering the film is about her and all.

Directed by Robert Young, The Worst Witch is a UK made-for-television film that aired every October on HBO and Disney all the way up until the late ‘90s. Based on a series of books written by English writer Jill Murphy, what might be most obvious to anyone who encounters The Worst Witch are the many similarities it shares with Harry Potter. In fact, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling has, on numerous occasions, been accused of ripping off The Worst Witch series. While the similarities are a plenty as well as being completely undeniable, the world of Harry Potter and Mildred are indeed very different, at least based on my experience.

“Things never go right for Mildred Hubble…” proclaims the film’s tagline, which is made obvious during an opening credit sequence that does a nice job of quickly portraying Mildred in all of her clumsiness as well as setting up her rivalry with miss perfect herself, Ethel Hallow. The Worst Witch is mostly focused on Mildred trying to find herself whilst dealing with a series of self-imposed unfortunate events and the ramifications she faces as a result. The film is essentially a classic underdog tale, where one character will go against all odds to prove themselves worthy of respect.

While enjoyable as a children’s made-for-TV film, The Worst Witch is quite hokey at times, though this element adds a certain level of enjoyment to the viewing experience. The rear projection flying effects are charmingly awful, especially in how each actor actually sells the act of flying on a broom. Most of the performances are solid, but a major standout, for better or for worse, comes from Charlotte Rae, specifically in her role as the evil twin sister Agatha Cackle. As opposed to headmaster Cackle, who is a fairly sweet, laid-back character, Agatha gives Rae the opportunity to ham it up, and she does so with ridiculous glee.

The Worst Witch also features a handful of musical numbers. While musicals aren't necessarily my favorite thing in the world (outside of a few exceptions), the musical moments in The Worst Witch are kept to a minimum. More importantly, however, it is indeed a musical number that stands out as the single best moment in the film. In fact, it may be the single greatest moment in any film. Ever.

Throughout the entirety of The Worst Witch, everyone is extremely excited about the special visit from The Grand Wizard, and knowing The Grand Wizard is played by Tim Curry, it’s nearly impossible to not be equally excited as a viewer. With the benefit of hindsight, the prospect of Tim Curry showing up as a “Grand Wizard” in a kitschy kids film with musical elements is quite promising. And let me tell you, people, when The Grand Wizard shows up and lets loose one of the greatest performances to ever hit celluloid, forever will your mind, body and soul be changed. The Grand Wizard’s performance is the equivalent of a cape-wearing unicorn starring in one of those lip-sync music videos that you could make at the mall back in the 80s and early 90s. Please, feel free to indulge for yourself below:

 

If that doesn't sell you on the film, then nothing will.

If you feel a hankering for watching a kids’ film about girl witches, you can watch The Worst Witch, in its entirety, on YouTube. Which is exactly why YouTube is so awesome.

We Wish You A Turtle Christmas Holiday Special (1994)

It’s Christmas Eve, and Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Raphael are about to wrap some Christmas presents when they realize that no one picked up a gift for Master Splinter. Worse yet, everything is closing soon! The only way to rectify this turtlelly terrible situation is to hit the streets and sing a bunch of shitty versions of Christmas songs while they search for gifts.  

Released in 1994, We Wish You A Turtle Christmas is a live action, direct-to-video Christmas Special featuring everyone’s favorite pizza eating sewer dwellers, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. We’ve seen the Turtles go through a variety of changes since their incarnation back in 1984, with a fluctuation that has ranged from being quite serious to pretty silly. But the Turtles seen in this Christmas special are possibly the most ridiculous they’ve been, being light years away from the heavy metal listening, violent characters created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird.

Currently bestowed with a solid 2 out of 10 on IMDB, We Wish You A Turtle Christmas features the most ratchet version of the turtles imaginable. Their mouths hardly move, and if they do, they certainly aren’t in sync with what they are saying/singing. Furthermore, the voice acting is as broke as M.C. Hammer, but what would you expect from a group of characters covered in visible zippers? Maybe that’s just a part of the mutation.

Terrible costuming and voice acting be damned, for the real bad of this really bad Christmas special has to be the wall-to-wall musical numbers. We Wish You A Turtle Christmas is overflowing with offensively bad music that comes in a variety of awful flavors. Songs range from a reggae tune to a hip-hop song, fittingly titled Wrap Rap, which naturally occurs as the turtles are wrapping presents. There’s a scene where Michelangelo sings an opera song, and of course there are a number of holiday classics, all of which are given a TMNT makeover.

For example:

“Deck the Halls with pepperoni

Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la la

Mustard, eggplant and bologna

Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la la”

However, the cream of the crap-crop comes during a moment where I could not help but verbally exclaim, “Splinter, NO!!,” and that comes when Master Splinter spits his version of The Twelve Days of Christmas. Which in this case should be renamed The Twelve Hammers I Want to Lodge Into My Cranium Simply So I Can End this Pain Days of Christmas. But as bad as this never-ending song is, however, I am almost more offended by the gifts that the turtles give to Splinter, which include a framed pizza, videos games, a skateboard, yo-yos – you know, the kind of stuff that Master Splinter would love to own if he were a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and not Master Splinter.

We Wish You A Turtle Christmas culminates in an epic musical number ending that features a slew of street kids dancing in the background like generic strippers to the titular song, which seems like a brilliantly thought out idea. I mean, it’s not as if the turtles are trying to keep a low profile or anything. You know, it’s not like they’re teenage mutant ninja turtles who live in the sewers with a human sized rat that wears a robe and practices kung-fu.

In closing, We Wish You A Turtle Christmas is bad on a level that is challenging for my mind to absorb without creating a stream of blood pouring from my nose. But at the same time, I kind of love it, which I guess speaks to my tolerance for shit. I know there are those of you out there who, like me, will get a kick out of this one for how awful it is, but be forewarned, for there are moments where you will question your sanity.

You can watch We Wish You A Turtle Christmas in three parts on YouTube. If you can make it through all three parts, that is.

Goosebumps at 33: Phantom of the Auditorium

Phantom of the Auditorium opens with a tripped-out barrage of Phantom of the Opera inspired imagery, all of which turns out to be no more than a strange dream being had by a young girl named Brooke (Jessica Moyes). Brooke - who was cast to play the lead in the school’s production of ‘The Phantom’ - learns that the play is cursed by a missing boy who was set to play the titular role way back in 1923. According to one of the students, every time the play goes into production the Phantom shows up to haunt the cast and crew.   

News of this curse doesn’t frighten Brooke in the least, as she is far too excited to be playing such a big role to be concerned about an urban legend. Soon enough, however, someone dressed up as the Phantom shows up and begins causing trouble for the production. The Phantom specifically targets Brooke, who he constantly refers to as Esmeralda, which is the name of her character in the play.

The trouble caused by The Phantom is all pinned on Brooke’s best bud and the school class clown, Zeke (Shawn Potter), who has actually been cast as the Phantom. Looking to clear Zeke’s name and get to the bottom of this mystery, Brooke and Zeke decide to investigate, only to learn that the Phantom may very well be living in the basement of the school auditorium. Is the urban legend about the missing young boy true, or is there someone else looking to sabotage the play for some reason yet to be known?

Appearing during the series’ first season, Phantom of the Auditorium is, in my experience, a true anomaly in the Goosebumps cannon. What’s instantly noticeable about this episode is that it has a slightly Gothic feel about it, which fits in well with The Phantom of the Opera inspired storyline, while also giving the episode a very distinct feel from any other I‘ve seen. Furthermore, it’s certainly one of the more serious episodes that I’ve seen, as there is very little humor on display. Phantom of the Auditorium also marks the first episode I’ve watched that doesn’t feature a twist ending. And if anything’s a staple of Goosebumps, it’s that twist ending.

After doing this segment for four years, and feeling as if I had my finger on the pulse of Goosebumps, I’ve found myself quite surprised by the three episodes I’ve covered this Chucktober. There have been no bullies, obnoxious practical jokers, or even much to poke fun at, which has been an incredibly fun part of reviewing some of the episodes I have. With that said, all three episodes have also been really good, if not some of the best that I have watched so far. I suppose this shows the variety that can be found in R.L. Stine’s writing and, in turn, the show. It also further proves how perfect Goosebumps is as starter horror for young kids. There’s really a little something for everyone with this show.

That does it for this year’s Goosebumps at 33. I hope you’ve enjoyed this fourth season as much as I have, and I look forward to bumping into you again next Chucktober!

Until next time, kiddies, keep your night light on and your head under the covers…

Spooky Buddies (2011): Happy Howl-ween!

Everyone’s favorite talking puppies are back in a brand new adventure that pits them up against a wicked Warlock named Zarwick and his horrific Halloween Hound in a battle of good versus evil that’s sure to leave the whole family on the edge of their seat! Will the buddies survive this latest adventure, or will they end up as puppy chow? The answer may be a little spooky, but rest assured, dear buddies, because this is one tail you won’t soon forget!

Directed by Robert Vince, who is a serious baller when it comes to talking animal movies (I’m not kidding), Spooky Buddies is but one of many entries in Disney’s Air Bud/Buddies series of films, which got their start with 1997’s Air Bud. There are seriously like 11 or 12 of these movies, something that I certainly wasn’t aware of until I took a ride on the Spooky Buddies’ train.

Despite the number of films in the series, Spooky Buddies is the franchise’s first foray into what could be looked at as “horror.” Now, using the word horror might be pushing it a bit, but regardless of the fact that Spooky Buddies is an adorable family comedy about talking puppies, its core tale is rooted in horror. Furthermore, it’s set during Halloween, which is really the quickest way to capture my attention, whether or not I’m the intended audience.

The main story focuses on the before mentioned Zarwick (played by Harland Williams, who might actually be the new Christopher Lloyd) and his Halloween Hound trying to take over the world. To do this, the Halloween Hound needs to swallow the souls of five puppies, and there just so happens to be five precious golden retrievers that fit the bill. Chaos ensues and heads begin to roll. Well, that might be an exaggeration, but you follow my trail. Anyway, the buddies cannot take on this otherworldly menace on their own. Thankfully, however, there are others who join them in their fight, including their tween owners, a psychic dog named Zelda (which is a nice nod to Zelda Rubinstein) and a ghost dog.

There’s actually quite a bit more to the story than what I’ve gone over, and that’s because there is a surprising amount going on in Spooky Buddies. The film seamlessly shifts between the exploits of Zarwick, the kids, and the buddies, all of which gives Spooky Buddies a very fast pace that only slows down enough to give the viewer time to ogle at cute puppies. More specifically, cute talking puppies.

Speaking of which (or is it typing of which?), watching a movie like Spooky Buddies is a little odd at first, as I don’t watch a lot of/enough talking animals films, so when the buddies - as lovable as can be - start chatting it up, it sort of freaks me out. Not that it looks at all real or anything like that, but something about it spins my brain around a bit. Once I got passed the whole talking animals thing, I couldn’t help but be entertained by some of the buddies’ personalities, specifically B-Dawg, who is the four legged version of a suburban white boy living that “hip-hop lifestyle.” Adorned with a diamond encrusted “B” chain around his neck, B-Dawg often refers to the other buddies as “yo, dawgs!,” which is kind of the best. My one disappointment is that B-Dawg never takes the time to bust out a rap. I mean, that’s simply a wasted opportunity, if you ask me.

“Throw your paws in the air, and wave ‘em like you just don’t care!”

As I mentioned, Spooky Buddies is set during Halloween, and the Halloweeness of the film is quite satisfying. You get the Halloween drenched suburb setting where every house is decorated, and done so with the types of Halloween decor that you would find in any number of Halloween stores, something that I really appreciate. Children dressed up in an assortment of Halloween costumes literally take over the streets to earn themselves an eventual bellyache, which made me nostalgic for a time when I was young and trick or treating was a big deal. Spooky Buddies is legitimately enjoyable as a Halloween set movie with almost as much Halloween spirit embedded into its DNA as Trick ‘r Treat.  

Even outside of the Halloween aesthetic, it’s kind of impossible to not be somewhat charmed by the whole affair. Adorable dogs wearing equally adorable Halloween costumes is enough to cut through my blackened heart in a way that I did not at all expect. Honestly, I was inclined to watch Spooky Buddies because I thought it would be a great movie to make fun of, and while I probably could make fun of it if I really wanted to, that wouldn’t be honest of me.

Spooky Buddies is a kids movie about talking dogs, something that will not ‘speak’ to people who are not either young children or parents of young children. On the other hand, people who do love Halloween, and I mean LOVE Halloween, will likely enjoy this one, so long as you’re okay with watching a talking dog movie. It’s not necessarily original or creative, but it is earnest, properly witty and charming, and I look forward to the day where I can share Spooky Buddies with my own little buddies.

Goosebumps at 33: It Came from Beneath the Sink

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It Came from Beneath the Sink!

Soon after Kat and her family move into a new home, Kat discovers a living, breathing sponge living underneath the kitchen sink. Making such an odd discovery gives Kat quite the stir, but as you’d expect, no one believes Kat about the existence of this monster sponge. However, soon after the sponges discovery, Kat and her family are hit with a string of terrible luck. For example, the family dog goes missing, Kat’s brother Daniel cuts his foot on a broken glass and Kat takes a nasty tumble when the brakes on her bike suddenly fail. Are all of these occurrences simply a coincidence, or does this have something to do with the sponge? Like that’s a real question.

Kat and her brother decide to bury the sponge, hoping that in doing so their luck will change. Unfortunately, however, the next morning Kat discovers that all the foliage surrounding the sponge is wilted and dead. Clearly this isn’t going to work. So Kat and Daniel dig the sponge up and take it to their science teacher to be analyzed. In the meantime, Kat, Daniel and a friend named Carlos look to The Encyclopedia of Weird for answers, and as it turns out this sponge is actually a ‘Grool‘.

No, not a Grohl but a Grool.

According to The Encyclopedia of Weird, a Grool is a creature that not only creates bad luck for the people around it, it feeds on it, too. How can Kat and her family stop this bad luck charm from destroying their world from the inside out? Furthermore, how well does this sponge perform when it comes to removing caked on grease and grim?! The answers to these maddening question can only be found in one place: at the end of the episode.

Coming from the thirteenth book in the Goosebumps series, It Came from Beneath the Sink is the 14th episode from the 1st season of the ever entertaining TV series. While being an overall solid entry that’s highly enjoyable and features a nice little twist, what might be most notable about It Came from Beneath the Sink is its star, Katharine Isabelle. It’s not a surprise seeing Ginger show up in an episode as she’s Canadian as a mofo, and I think almost every Canadian actor around her age has appeared in at least one episode of Goosebumps. Still, it’s cool to see her on the show, especially in such a solid episode.

Surprisingly, I don’t have a whole lot that I can say about this episode (which doesn’t speak to the quality of it). However, between The Girl Who Cried Monster and It Came from Beneath the Sink, I am off to a fantastic start this Halloween/Chucktober season, and I look forward to what the show has in store for me next.

Until next time, kiddies, keep your night light on and you head under the covers…

‘The Last Halloween’ TV Special (1991)

Jeanie and Michael (Sarah Matinek and Will Nipper) are celebrating what very well could be their last Halloween after the town’s lake, which serves as the main source of power for the local candy factory, has run almost completely dry. How could such a horrific event happen you might ask? Well, let’s just say it involves the town meanie, Mrs. Gizbourne (Rhea Perlman), who with the help of her trusty henchman, Hans (Richard Moll), has been using the lake water to create a solution for achieving eternal youth, therefore leaving the lake bone dry and the candy factory’s future as well as the fate of Halloween in danger.

Meanwhile, as Jeanie and Michael are enjoying their last evening of trick or treating, they come across four Martians (?!) who were sent to earth to replenish their planet’s supply of, what else, candy. Jeanie and Michael befriend the Martians and take them trick or treating so they can get together some candy, at which point things take a hysterical turn! Actually, they don’t, but whatever. Anyway, it isn’t long before one of the Martians runs off to the evil Mrs. Gizbourne’s house to find more candy, and this my dear reader is where the shit hits the fan.

Produced by Hanna-Barbera and premiering on CBS on October 28th, 1991, The Last Halloween is a bit of a mixed bag of tricks and treats in terms of entertainment value. First of all, it’s difficult to fathom why one candy factory’s fate could completely end Halloween for an entire town. You know, since there are other candy factories around the county as well as trucks that could easily deliver said candy. I mean, it’s not like they live in the Taiga and have to wait for the yearly helicopter to drop of food. Then again, I suppose this is an instance where suspending disbelief would play into things, especially when we’re talking about a special that’s story takes everything AND the kitchen sink and jams it into a runtime less than 30 minutes.

Regardless of the overblown plot, there are a lot of things to enjoy about The Last Halloween. As convoluted as the story is, it does a good job of quickly building up depth for the two main characters. There are also some awesome visuals strewn throughout the short running time, my favorite being this great looking matte painting used for the villain's castle. For a short Halloween TV special, it’s clear that a lot of effort went into production value, and it shows in the final product. In fact, this resulted in a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Special Visual Effects which were, interestingly enough, provided by Industrial Light & Magic and Pacific Data Images.

Something else that’s notable about The Last Halloween is that it features some early CGI, which is how the mostly obnoxious Martian characters are brought to life. I find it interesting to see early CGI use, as CGI was, at least in the early days, something that was kind of cool and exciting; a new tool for filmmakers to bring new worlds to life. Nowadays, however, CGI has completely affected the landscape of cinema, specifically big-budget Hollywood movies, and in a way that I think is now really hurting the power of cinema. An epic film is no longer epic - it’s green screen. But that’s another topic for another day...

The Last Halloween is a remotely entertaining little ride, though a ride that will likely only be enjoyed by people who either really love Halloween (me) or children (me), which is really the perfect audience for this one. One final observation concerning the Martians: if they wanted candy, why didn’t they go to the local Mars Bar?

If you want to check out The Last Halloween for yourself, then you can give it a watch via the YouTube video below: