Black Christmas 2006: Just Like the One I Used to Know?

I won't bother going into the boring details of my personal thoughts on remakes as that always seems to be so much of the focus when actually sitting down to review one. It's almost as if you need to explain your stance beforehand. It's as simple as I enjoy them so long as they are good, which is the case with any film I watch, essentially. Last Death-cember brought about a review of Bob Clark's Black Christmas, a film that I simply adore for a number of reasons, many of which you can learn about by reading that review. Go ahead, I'll wait for you to read it…back already? Okay, so It's a year later now, and I figured it would be kind of fun (heavy focus on kind of) to watch and review the 2006 remake of, Black Christmas. So that's what I did, obviously. I mean, I am writing a review for it, aren't I?

Moving on, the film has a basic set-up with a group of sorority sisters getting knocked off one-by-one on Christmas Eve. Easy enough, right? Well, not so much as things take a complicated turn when it is revealed as to why someone is killing them. As opposed to the original film, there is no actual mystery as to who is behind the murders. *SPOLIERS!* In fact, it's all simply laid out on the table in what is a number of lengthy and obnoxiously overbearing flashbacks, detailing a story about some creep ball named Billy, whom was locked in the attic for many years after he witnessed his abusive mother and her new boy toy murder his father.

Now, Billy's ma dukes is, well, to put it simply, cock hungry and one night when her man is too drunk to fuck, she decides that it's time make up for all the years of abuse she put him through by going up in the attic and banging him. Naturally, this one time encounter results in Billy's mom becoming pregnant with her own son's child. I know, gross. Oh, and if that wasn't strange enough, I should probably mention that Billy is yellow? Like, for whatever reason, dude has yellow skin and that is partially why his mother hated him, even though she would eventually bone him. Yellow. Multivitamin colored urine, yellow. All of this whacky nonsense results in a murder spree thanks to a recently escaped from a mental asylum Billy and his inbred daughter, who looks a lot like Nicole Bass, come to think of it. *END SPOILERS!*

Black Christmas - or, Black X-Mas as it was sometimes marketed as when trying to capture the attention of those kids and their skateboards – is a remake of a film that is considered to be very influential on the Slasher and horror genre. It's looked at as a classic of sorts. This time around, you have a film that is influenced by the success of remakes and in return is lumped in with an era of unoriginality. It would seem to have the exact opposite reputation of its influence, and essentially does little to discern itself from the pack, despite its incredibly odd backstory. 

Even though I somewhat appreciate the bold (and bonkers) story choices that were made in a Hollywood driven remake, it all feels so cheap. Like, if you really need to spend more than 25 minutes explaining backstory, you are doing no service to the characters at hand. You know, the ones we are supposed to care about in the present day. Not that they're the types of horror characters that one can actually feel for as they are about as interesting as a mouth full of yellow starburst and all that blame can be placed solely on the writing. This is a group of female characters that are as uninspired and uninteresting as it gets, which is very unfortunate with a cast that is actually very solid.

The mostly all female cast consist of a slew of familiar faces, many of which I actually really enjoy watching on screen. Of course, I may be biased as I find most of the actresses to be more than easy on the eyes, and this is certainly a great looking cast for sure, but I do appreciate them for their acting as much as their physical appeal. I mean, casting Lacey Chabert and Mary Elizabeth Winstead is certainly a positive mark for me, but to give them no meat to chew on (yowza!) with their bland characters, then they are nothing more than good actresses that are being used simply as objects of visual stimulation. The actresses aren't challenged with characters that have depth nor are they interesting in any way, shape or form. Pretty girls in a film that seems to be a little too much about veneer, which doesn't end with the cast.

I'm sure many would be quick to piss on it, but in my opinion, Black Christmas is actually a pretty solid film on a technical level. It's not comparable to the original, at all, but there are a fair share of standout shots to be found in the film. In addition, what is possibly the only thing that writer/director Glen Morgan semi-successfully carried over from the '74 film is a nice looking Christmas aesthetic. To be fair, there is no way someone could recreate the awesome holiday look of the original without making a movie set in the 70s (and I would LOVE to see Ti West take a shot), but I would say that this is close to as good as can be done for a modern day set holiday tale. I simply love Christmas decorations, and right from the first shot of the film, with a great looking house covered in fat Christmas light bulbs, I actually became incredibly pumped for the movie. What can I say, I'm easily memorized by pretty lights and colors. And women.

In the end, there are just barely enough positives that keep Black Christmas from being a complete lump of coal. There are a good amount of kills, most of which are decent but they are also very repetitive. It seems the only way someone can die in this movie is to be stabbed in the eye(s) with a bag over their head. As far as modern day Slasher films go, Black Christmas is sub par, but not a complete loss. The wild Billy backstory, the pretty Christmas lights, the attractive cast and a scene where Billy eats flesh made Christmas cookies makes Black Christmas worth at least a viewing. It's the type of holiday Slasher film that will be nice to pop in every few years when something different is needed outside of the usual suspects.

Black Christmas

1974's Black Christmas, while being noted by many as the first true Slasher film, is a movie that is slightly under appreciated by some, well, I more mean under appreciated by myself I guess. I often get "wrapped up" in the "normal" classic holiday films like, It's A Wonderful Life and (another Bob Clark film) A Christmas Story, etc...almost completely ignoring the Christmas Horror that there is to be had. Being a horror fan, that is a bit of a shame I might add. So to sit back and watch Black Christmas after many years was a nice holiday treat and one that would be perfectly enjoyed on cable, meaning, cable stations should run this film once in a while during the holiday season instead of only playing the usual happy holiday fare.

It's just before Christmas break at a sorority house, when it is discovered that one of the sisters has gone missing when her father comes to pick her up and she never shows. This event results in a search party where there is the discovery of a dead girl's body, but not the body of the missing girl that was the originally being searched for. With a missing woman, a dead body, and a series of menacing phone calls to the sorority house, the police try and figure out what is happening, while the remaining sorority sister vie to stay alive. Kinda.

Back Christmas has a great cast and most of the performances are exceptional, especially Margot Kidder, who plays one of the sorority sisters. She is a very obnoxious, brash, and outspoken - mixed with a copious amount of alcohol, her character is a hot mess and a lot of fun to watch. Olivia Hussey is the films main protagonist and while I think "Hussey is hot," her performance is the weakest of the bunch. Not terrible and it gets better as the film moves along, but at first, she is a bit annoying. Two welcome actors were Andrea Martin, who (looks EXACTLY like Screech Powers in this film) I know from watching SCTV when I was a wee lad, so it was nice to see her. The other appearance is from the sexiest man ever, John Saxon. Complete with funny hat and all, Saxon plays the role of detective, which isn't a stretch for him and he's as fantastic and charismatic as ever.

Being that this is one of the first Slasher films made, director Bob Clark nicely executed some of the inspirational genre staples that are still prevalent even to this very day. Black Christmas is a sort of whodunit to a small degree, but this does give you a few red herrings, something found in Slasher films and even more so, Gialli, which are just Italian Slashers anyways. There is also a stalk and slash element to this film and the advent of the final girl is even prevalent in a way.

Another Slasher aspect that is one of the standouts in this holiday horror is the use of POV. While this is mostly used in the films opening scene (which is the high point of the movie), the POV used is one of the genres best, with a slight fish eyed lens used and a somewhat erratic style created by cinematographer Albert J. Dunk. Dunk devised this awesome effect by rigging up a camera harness that would mount the camera on his shoulder as he walked about the house, stalking the sorority sisters.

Now, Black Christmas starts off with a bang, but quickly hits the skids and gets pretty slow for a good half an hour or so. I think the film picks up the pace a little when Saxon shows up and the calls to the sorority house become more and more disturbing and mean spirited, but even then, there are moments of almost boredom. I can personally deal with the slower pace of the film because I enjoyed some of the performances and the story was still entertaining to a degree, but you're not getting some balls out, err, I should say, "tits out" Slasher film here. This is a classy Slasher (!) and one that burns slowly.

What really keeps me engulfed in this film and the reason I love it most is the unbelievable look of the movie's setting and design. The 70's and Christmas aesthetic are so pleasing to my holiday loving eyes, that it is impossible for me not to swoon for Black Christmas. It's all done in beautiful Technicolor, with the magic of brightly lit Christmas jumping right out at you from the base colors of this era - from orange, yellow, and deep wood/brown colors, I was in love.

Clark has a keen eye for grabbing the essence of Christmas, which he shows in A Christmas Story and clearly here, with Black Christmas. Both with completely different styles and set in different decades, they are able to speak and give off a traditional holiday mood representative of their respective time periods. I am glad I came back to this film as I really appreciated it more than ever and if you like a nice, almost traditional horror film, then grag yourslef a glass of eggnog and warm up next to Black Christmas this holiday season.

Silent Night, Bloody Night (1972) All, Is Not Calm...

It's Christmas Eve in a small New England town, where a battle over the rights to an infamous psychiatric hospital with a storied and disturbing history has been going on. The hospital's owner has no interest in this long time abandoned building and is trying to strike a quick deal to get rid of it for good. Besides the mysterious horrifying history behind the asylum that is plaguing the community, there is also the threat of an escaped serial killer running around knocking off the town's bigwigs. For the record, that always makes things worse. That's the best your getting out of me as far as a plot goes, because Theodore Gershuny's Silent Night, Bloody Night has an obnoxious plot filled with a lot of depth - and a lot of holes that go just as deep. Very confusing at times and told through voice over for at least 40% of the film, this 1972-or-3-or-4 holiday Slasher film is incredibly tedious with its overly complicated story. HOWEVER, there is a story to be had and one that has some smarts to it in many ways. Dealing with intense family trauma, cover-ups and themes of incest, there is something interesting to take from this film's story, convoluted or not. Silent Night, Bloody Night was made almost two years before Black Christmas, but wasn't released until '74, the same year as Bob Clark's holiday Slasher classic (which I will be posting a review for very soon!). So it's an easy case to make that Silent Night is the first Slasher film and there is no way in hell that "someone " didn't see, or hear about, or even know someone that worked on this film and used it some capacity as inspiration for Black Christmas. Not to take anything away from Black Christmas, which is an inspirational film that paved the way for Halloween to pave the way for the Slasher genre as we know it, but this film's inspiration should certainly be noted. Silent Night, Bloody Night is filled to the rim with promise and great ideas, only to be hindered by the low budget and cheapness of it all. Doesn't help that most transfers of this film are utter shit too. This first use of a Slasher POV is competent-to-very well done and there are some odd, yet intriguing technical and stylistic choices that work and hurt the movie. Shot in a sort of low light, the film has a very nice looking, almost Gothic quality to it (and the old New England setting helps too), there are some shots that are only lit by a lantern, which had a great old look and feeling...kinda reminded me of Old Sturbridge Village! With that, kinda neat, kinda cool low light effect comes a wickedly dark film that is made even darker by a terrible transfer of an older low budget movie. There are moments where you can almost see nothing on screen. Not entirely the fault of the filmmakers, but there are some very dark scenes in Silent Night, Bloody Night, bad transfer or not. There are even a few decent kills in this holiday horror with one of them really being a surprise in a Psycho sort of way, as in, I was not expecting it to happen when it did. Or I am naive, which could be the case too. As I mentioned before, there is a lot of voice over, and while voice over is often used as a crutch for the untalented, it is much needed in such a complex story. Most of the voice over work in the opening of the film is set to old photos of the past, as the history of the mental institution and the town is gone over. Almost the entire last 20 minutes of Silent Night, Bloody Night is told through voice over, but instead of being done to photos, it is done to old sepia tone footage of the past horrors that occurred. It is surprisingly inventive and while being a bit off putting at first, it really starts to draw you into what is happening with how it's done...which is well I might add. At one long moment, the voice over to this old footage is fittingly replaced by an instrumental version of the Christmas song, Silent Night, Holy Night and it is a very creepy and nicely created scene that had me at full attention as to what was happening on screen. What unfolds in the story during this final act is another captivating aspect too and something that keeps the wild plot above water with its incestuous cover up scheme and other equally awful happenings at the mental institution resulting in the current issue of the escaped lunatic that is taking people out in present times. Silent Night, Bloody Night has cult status written all over it, with its proto-Slasher sensibilities and to top it off, there are a few nice genre surprises to be found with a mute played by John Carradine and the presence of cult starlet, Mary Woronov. While this film is a bit of a mess and extremely cheap looking, there is a lot to be seen in this little known gem and it is worth the time of any fan of Slasher films and anyone looking for a decent Christmas horror movie. Silent Night is a public domain film, so it is easy to find on many multi pack sets and it is available to watch on sites like YouTube, so you have no reason not to give this one a try!