The Horror Hangover

Got a very mixed and slightly small bag of films for The Horror Hangover this week, but there is some shit worth checking out depending on your taste. First I’ll mention that The Matrix films will be on AMC starting only an hour after you went to bed last night aka 8:00 AM. It will be a marathon of Matrix, so you can leave it on all day long and as you sober up, the quality of the films shall slowly disintegrate!

On a much better note, BBC has a Hitchcock marathon that will span the entire day, starting with Vertigo at 9:00, then Psycho at 12:00, and  Rear Window at 2:30. Then it will loop right back around and start all over again. I don’t get BBC on my cable, but if you have the power, spending a day with Hitchcock is not a bad day to be spent at all. I’ll give this my marathon pick of the week!

In non-marathon Hangover news, at 11:00 Breakdown (1997) is playing on USA. I haven’t seen Breakdown in a long time, but I have decent memories of it. It’s a thriller style road movie, with trucks, and Kurt Russell, so you really can’t go wrong. Only thing better would be a thriller style road movie, with trucks, and Pat Swayze, but that isn’t the case. Still, Breakdown gets my solo movie pick of the week! 

 

At 12:00, you might want to “Get Down!” when Eraser (1996) is on A&E. It’s an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, so I have to mention it, as I have a deep love for the greatest action hero of all time. I actually saw this movie in the theaters, but barely remember it outside of Vanessa Williams and I think there was a cool futuristic gun used in it at one point, but that could be another movie for all I know.

 

Lastly, at 12:15 The Amityville Horror (2005) meh-make is showing on TNT. Movie is pretty wiggity-whack with a few good moments, but the whole “catch ‘em and kill ‘em” thing was one of the lamest hooks a horror film has ever had. The scene with the hot babysitter (I think she was hot?) was pretty cool from what I remember, but there is very little for me to recommend about this pile of pooh. Ryan Reynolds’ beard is very proper though…but as powerful as James Brolin’s? I smell celebrity death match!

 

That's all folks…not a lot, but there are some movies worth checking out. Hopefully I have lead you down the path of cable horror ‘n such, and you won’t feel so alone as you wonder why you slept with that nasty dude/dudette last night!

The Horror Hangover

We got a pretty light Horror Hangover this week...not a whole lot of movies worth eating a baby over and there are no horror movies on to make things worse. To top things off, Stargate is on all day over at SyFy, so for the very first time in the short Horror Hangover history, the channel is not represented. Thanks, Stargate, thanks for sucking.

Okay, at 11:00 AM The Matrix (1999) is on AMC, which is followed by The Matrix Reloaded (2003) at 2:00 PM and at 5:00, The Matrix Revolutions (2003) will round out the trilogy of mediocre. I love the first Matrix, and the second one is on point for the most part, but man...every time I try and watch Revolutions, I can't help but be completely bored and wonder how everything went so wrong with this franchise?



Speaking of shitty franchises, noontime brings us The Scorpion King (2002) on USA. I HATED the first two Mummy films, and I think the only thing that is Mummy related I would ever possibly give a chance to, would be The Scorpion King. Even then, I am very skeptical, thus the reason I still haven't seen it. Maybe one of you purdy ladies or dashing lads can convince me otherwise. Or not.



At 12:30, The Professional (1994) is on the Oxygen network? Great movie and one of my personal favorite films, I can watch The Professional every time it's on TV for at least a couple of scenes. Even though there isn't shit to choose from this week, The Professional would be my pick over many movies even if there were and it is easily my pick for this week.



Already at the end of the Hangover with Out for Justice (1991) at 4:00 on ION. If you're still rolling around in your own vomit from the night before by this time of day, might as well enjoy some badass Seagal action from when he wasn't auditioning for the Tracy Turnblad role in Hair Spray.



That's it guys, so sorry for such a weak Hangover, but what can ya do? Hopefully SyFy will get its head out of its ass and give us something that is only a little terrible next week - and maybe that Weather channel showing movies thing will take off and we can watch Misery interrupted by weather reports every Sunday!