Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party On A Plane!

Hey, hey, hey, it's Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party!

And I'm gonna play a song for you…

It's a bit of an embarrassment for me not you…

You'll have some fun now, as I make jokes about my wang…

Learning from each other, while we do our thang…

Na, na, na, gonna have a dance party, with Fre-e-ddy!

Sorry, I think I got carried away there for a second with the Fat Albert thing. Speaking of Fat Albert, I wonder if there was ever a porno version called Prince Albert? If not, there should be.

Anyways, if you paid attention to my dope lyrics, I mentioned that I have a bit of an embarrassing dance party track for tonight. I am a wicked music snob and pretty much hate most modern commercial music. I like some current bands, but they are few and far between, and none of them are played on the radio from what I know. However, once in a blue moon a song infiltrates my better judgment, and I find myself liking something that I probably shouldn't…a guilty pleasure if you will. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen, and that would be the case with tonight's tune, Snakes on a Plane (Bring It!).

Ah yes, Snakes on a Plane, the 2006 phenomena starring Samuel L. Jackson, an airplane, a whole bunch of snakes and a ridiculous plot. Ridiculous, yes but an entertaining plot nonetheless, and as outrageous as the idea of snakes attacking people on an airplane is, the film became a pop culture sensation, transcending B-Movie status. Everyone seemed to be fascinated by it, but not enough to actually go and see the film in theaters based off the poor box office numbers it received. I personally had one of the best theatrical experiences with Snakes on a Plane, but it was definitely due to the right movie, the right mood and the right group of friends. A few beers might have been involved too, but what's that have to do with anything?     

Snakes on a Plane (Bring It!) was the debut single from Cobra Starship and appeared on the bands first album, While the City Sleeps, We Rule the Streets as well as the Snakes OST. The song has a slew of guest appearances, which would almost ensure that it would be successful, and I always kind of thought Cobra Starship was formed for this one song in particular. I mean, their name is Cobra Starship and their first song is Snakes on a Plane (Bring It!)? Seems a little odd. Even odder is the (Bring It!) portion of the songs title…seriously? (Bring What?) Like, do they want the snakes to (Bring It!)? If so, that is a losing battle unless they have Sam on their side, and I bet he only helps out the white chick, who is pretty hot in a coke head sort of way. Betcha he lands his snake in her cockpit in that scenario.    

The Horror Hangover

Wake up you sleepy heads…you can’t sleep all day because if you do, you will miss all the goodies than are in store for you today. You don’t have to get out of bed, up off the couch, or anything crazy like that - you can stay right where you are to enjoy today's events, because  it’s time for The Horror Hangover! I got a great one for you today with a couple of very solid films that should make your cloudy day just a tad brighter. So go take your first of many draught beer dumps, get a couple glasses of water for rehydration, shut your ringer off, and cozy up while I give you the gift of guidance through this painful Hangover.

Starting off with a Monday to Friday bang, at 10:30 Snakes on a Plane (2006) is on FX. Not a great movie, but it is fun as all hell, not that all hell is fun I assume, but that’s not the point. Snakes is entertaining for what it is and it is a film that played very well in theaters with an audience of appreciative horror dorks. How will the film translate to cable? Just click on the monkey fighting clip below and that question will be answered.   

At Noon, SyFy shows up very strong with The Crow (1994). Love The Crow and have very little to say about it besides it is a great way to spend an afternoon holding back vomit and trying to remember that girl or guy’s name that probably gave you gonorrhea from the night before.   

At 3:00, you better be ready to protect ‘cause Kickboxer (1989) is playing on ION! I haven’t seen Kickboxer in a hundred years (which is odd since it came out in the 80’s), but I used to watch that and Bloodsport all the time when I was wee. Bloodsport always plays on cable (like ALWAYS!), but Kickboxer…not so much, which is too bad, ‘cause it’s awesome. Watching this great trailer brought back a flood of memories from the movie with some of the best fight training sequences eva! Love drunk Van Damme doing some Van Dammage to the dance floor when he gets cocked, then tricked into fighting those thugs! Pick of the week!

If Van Damme doesn’t tickle your pickle, also playing at 3:00 is Pitch Black (2000) on AMC. I think I am not alone in saying that Pitch Black is a very solid horror/action/sci fi film and makes for another very great choice during today's Hangover. Though, it’s no The Pacifier, but what exactly is? 

And if Pitch Black ain’t yo thang, then 3:00 gives you yet another choice with Saw (2004) on SyFy. Not the biggest fan at all, but it is something I could probably sit through as the drool count lowers late in the afternoon during a hardcore Hangover. Cary Elwes’ acting certainly fits in perfectly with the standard SyFy movie fare at least.

Okay chalupa’s…I’m outta here like Doug. Hope you have a great Sunday free from any new burning sensations!