House at the End of the Street: Tanks for the Mammaries

Somewhere up the road from the House on the Edge of the Park and just around the corner of The Last House on the Left, you will find the House at the End of the Street. I suppose if you were a little more optimistic, you could consider it the beginning of the street, but optimism isn’t a trait that will do much good for you going into this urinal stain of a film.    

Directed by Mark Tonderai, House at the End of the Street (or #HATES, if you’re a big Twitter user) is a psychological thriller starring Jennifer Lawrence as Elissa, a young woman with a voice so beautiful she sounds absolutely perfect whether she’s singing in the woods or a garage, but I digress. Elissa and her single, overprotective mother (played by Elisabeth Shue, who looks fantastic despite the tiredly written character) have just moved from the mean streets of Chicago to the not so mean gravel roads of some place in the woods. A place that, on the surface, seems safe, but little do they know that just four years earlier a little girl slaughtered her parents... in the HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET!

Being the new gal in the wooded ‘hood as well as being the lead singer in the sickest band in Chicago, Elissa is getting a lot of attention from all the boys, specifically a young loner type named Ryan (Max Thieriot). Ryan has a bit of a bad rep around town due to the fact that he is the oldest son of the people who were gruesomely murdered in the HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET! Worse yet, he still lives in the very house at the end of the street where his parents were killed, something that really ticks everyone off. Regardless, Elissa and Ryan hit it off, and it seems that all the negativity driven towards Ryan is unwarranted, so she’s all ready to drop her drawers for him at any minute. However, when your parents were slayed by your very own sister in the very house at the end of the street that you still live in, you are more than likely not to be trusted. Unfortunately for Elissa, this is the case.

It’s okay, though, because the power of song will protect us like a warm blanket on a winter’s day.

House at the End of the Street gets full use out of the word ‘generic’ in terms of storytelling and character development. In fact, it’s only a few dollars and a handful of good actors above a Lifetime movie, though at least most Lifetime movies can be pretty entertaining. While mostly a technically well-made film, hashtag hates is plagued by some horrific, random editing choices as well as strange attempts at stylized camerawork. I almost applaud the fact that there is an actual attempt at style, but unfortunately it’s as successful as me “attempting” to be Mr. Universe. The dialogue also shines about as brightly as sandpaper, as there are moments where characters barf out some utterly atrocious dialogue. One specific moment in particular is a scene where Elissa and her friend are talking about one of the boys in school:

Friend: “He’s a dick!”
Elissa: “He’s worse than a dick... he’s a dickhole!”
Friend: “Dickhole’s the new asshole.”

*laughter*

Me: “What the fuck.”

Moving on (and thankfully so), I feel as a member of society I am obligated to talk about one of the biggest stars of hashtag hates:

Elissa’s White Tank Top

The white tank top is THE perfect attire for the slightly dirty (but not, like, gross dirty), sweaty girl in peril, who also happens to have a very healthy amount of milk in the fridge. Oh, how the snuggly fit and slightly translucent fabric moves so gracefully around JLaw’s breasts as they swing around like a tilt-a-whirl covered by a tarp. It almost seems as if this wardrobe choice was intentionally exploiting her upper body... I mean, who needs good dialogue when you have nice titties in a tank?!

“Are you looking at my tits?!”

I’d #HATES to be so harsh on this film because it is at least bearable enough to sit through, but you still might be better off spending your time drinking toilet water. On the other hand, if you do decide to spend some time with House at the End of the Street, please feel free to try to beat my “I called the plot twist!” time of 4 minutes and 50 seconds.

Winter's Grit: These Boots Are Made For Walking

As I sat in the theater watching the latest Coen brother's film, True Grit, I quickly noticed a certain familiarity with the character of Mattie Ross (Hailee Steinfeld). The film's main focus, Mattie is an intelligent and determined 14-year-old girl who will stop at nothing when it comes to finding the man that murdered her father in cold blood. This young female character immediately brought me to thoughts of Ree Dolly (Jennifer Lawrence), the lead protagonist in Debra Granik's incredible film, Winter's Bone. Much like Mattie, Ree is a smart and unwavering female character that also has a difficult task that she is faced with. But as opposed to finding her father's killer, Ree is trying to find her father - who may or may not even be alive – so she can save her family from an uncertain fate.

Two very different women that both share a single goal, armed with a drive that would dwarf even the largest of obstacles. Mattie and Ree are inspiringly strong female characters who share many qualities despite their cultural differences. They are what you could call survivors in a way, but one is forced to do so out of necessity, while the other does so to see that justice is served for the one that she has lost. Both have what I would like to call true courage, though, in Mattie's case, she may be too young and naïve to see the danger in which she is putting herself. Then again, maybe she does in fact see it and simply doesn't let it topple her strong spirit. Ree, on the other hand, has to have courage. She has to because if she doesn't, not only will it affect her, but her defenseless family, too.

Even at the age of 17, Ree is already a world-weary woman due to living a very difficult and hardening life. She is not well educated, but her smarts come from the survival instincts formed by living in the very difficult world that she was born into. She has grown up in a place where it is a necessity to endure, and she is using that strength to fight tooth and nail to keep from losing her home. A home that would be lost if her bail-jumping meth-cooking father isn't found. This isn't a story about a girl trying to find her father to save him. Instead, it is about a girl that will risk her life in a dangerous world (that many of us are not at all familiar with), not to keep a roof over her head, but the head of Ree's two younger siblings and ill mother. In this situation, Ree has become the mother, the one that has the ability to take charge and keep her family from situations that no one should ever have to be confronted with. Including herself.

Mattie has a lot more going for her as far as a future goes. An incredibly quick witted and sharp young lady, she has the ability to make things happen with her tenacity for verbal deliberation. She is so young, which makes it easy to underestimate her but it's also something that works to her advantage when she is able to get the best of unsuspecting adults. She understands laws, she understands her rights, and has no problem with letting people know that she will not be easily pushed around. She rides down a road that is never made any less difficult for her due to her age or sexuality, but it is just those qualities that seem to feed her aggressive posture, making her a stronger force because of it. She is driven by despair for a father that was wrongfully taken from her and will stop at nothing to see that his killer pays for his crime.

What Mattie and Ree share as characters is simply how resilient they are to the oppression that faces them. There is no wall that either of these "girls" cannot scale because their drive is too intense, too important. These are fantastically written characters and are brought to life by equally amazing performances. In a movie where Jeff Bridges shows just why he won an Oscar, Hailee Steinfeld is able to stand out in what is a wonderful performance for such a young girl. In fact, it may even be good enough for an Oscar nod, in my opinion. As far as Jennifer Lawrence goes, well, lets just say that in a world where someone like Sandra Bullock can win a sympathy Oscar for playing a hallow character, then it would be a travesty if Lawrence wasn't granted the shot to win for a character and performance that truly should be applauded.