All the Boys Love Mandy Lane: And I don't blame 'em

Within the span of one summer vacation, Mandy Lane would make a drastic metamorphosis from the girl that no one noticed to the hot girl that all the guys are dying to get with. Mandy has a good, steady head on her shoulders, and with all the temptations and advances that come from horny teenage boys and the pressures brought on by her peers, she has been able to remain pure when it comes to her sexuality. Every dude-bro in school would love to be the one who breaks through her proverbial chastity belt, but Mandy is far too smart to fall for any of their cheap lines and promises of love. With her newfound hotness Mandy quickly becomes accepted into the cool kids club, meaning, all the girls want to be friends with her, while all the boys want to bone her.

The plot to All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is simple with Mandy being invited out for a weekend of hard partying at some kid 's parent free ranch, where all of the guys are fully expecting to seal the deal with her. Looking forward to a fun weekend away, she accepts the invitation and joins the intimate - and only mildly stereotypical - group of teens. While there, things get off to a good start with some seriously hardcore partying, some seriously pathetic attempts at boning Mandy and some seriously sick person knocking off the teens, one by one. As I said, simple, but there are a few twists and turns to be found throughout the story, though, I didn't find them all too difficult to figure out and had my correct guess by the 40-minute mark.

Regardless of predictability, All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is a tale told properly through its execution and craftsmanship. It's often referred to as - and very much is - a Slasher film at its core, but it lacks the stalk and slash elements of a traditional Slasher as well as the tension that comes with what one would expect from the genre. The kills are a little light, and outside of one wonderfully phallic inspired death (go booyah), they aren't all too gruesome, either. Lacking those elements doesn't really hurt the film too much, as those tactics aren't necessary for this particular story to work. You basically have a teen driven story where the teenage characters aren't a detriment to the film. The movie is respectful to the viewers with characters that are nicely written and respectably acted by the young cast, which is always something to applaud in modern horror fare.

What really pushes All the Boys Love Mandy Lane up over the top is the character of Mandy Lane as played by Amber Heard. The entire film rests solely on the shoulders of this one character; from the film's title to its premise, the viewer has to be on board with the spell Mandy casts on those around her. For a girl like Heard, the looks part is not a problem whatsoever, but there is much more to this character than just her beauty. It's her presence; it's the way that she carries herself; it's that indescribable thing that makes someone attractive past their looks, and that is what this film grounds its feet in. Heard is able to bring this to the screen like very few actresses could have, but her performance and presence aren't the only reason for the aura the character has around her.

The way in which she is filmed plays an incredible part in how Mandy Lane, the character, comes off, which is as all the male characters in the movie see her. Director, Jonathan Levine, does an overall solid job on the film itself, but it is what he does with the character of Mandy Lane, specifically, that is fantastic. It's a perfect melding of cinematic technique and an actress with the right look and ability that really give this one a unique feel. There's one scene in particular that is one of the more titillating moments in the film, and it is no more than Mandy coyly taking off her shorts and tank top so she can jump into a lake for a swim. This scene is sexy because Heard looks amazing, that's a given, but it's how it's shot with the use of warm lens flairs, teasing camera angles and the soft music that collectively bring the moment to a whole different level of cinematic seduction.

Since its 2006 Toronto International Film Festival premier, All the Boys Love Mandy Lane has been one of the most talked about horror films for as many good reasons as there are not so good reasons. Its lack of a U.S. release has been the subject of annoyance for many a genre fan (myself included), and rightfully so. There's really no reason not to have access to ANY film, whatsoever. Even with the recent promise that it's on its way to a DVD release in the U.S., in limbo it remains for the time being. And that is truly unfortunate as this is a film that could certainly be geared towards the same crowd as shit fluff like the Prom Night and The Stepfather (also featuring Heard) remakes, while getting support from most of the horror community. That my friend is a recipe for a horror flick that could be a major success. But for now, those of us in the know know enough to make sure we own a region free DVD player. 

Stepfather Factory

So it's father's day and with that comes the need to do something thematic, as well as the need to put myself through some possible torture at the same time. Sadly, the first thing that came to mind when I thought, "what can I do for father's day?" was to do a review of The Stepfather remake. It's on instant view and chances are it will make for an interesting review. Maybe.

In a way, there isn't all that much to say about The Stepfather narratively. It's a remake that follows the 1987 movie pretty closely, which is basically about a man that only wishes to have the perfect family, but when that systematized delusion is not met, this "stepfather" discards of his family by killing them, then moves on to his next family and the possible chance for unified family bliss. He finds a venerable woman, whom, thanks to a recent divorce, is single with kids and he swoops in with a gallon bucket full of charm, working his way into their lives in the hopes of forming the ideal family.

The Stepfather was directed by Nelson McCormick, a man who has directed a ton of television but is best known to horror fans as the director of Prom Night 2008. I reviewed that film some time ago over at Paracinema, and while I wasn't a big fan, I knew it was not made for my eyes as they are too old for that film. It was made for those youngsters and their skateboards. Still, it was a terrible movie, so what can I expect when McCormick comes back for yet another tween-geared remake of an 80’s horror film? Not much, but it is better than Prom Night at least.

As with Prom Night, The Stepfather is technically adept, but very standard at the same time. There is little to no creativity, but it does work as a functional film. The same can be said for the acting, which is nothing special, but everyone is solid, with Dylan Walsh's performance being well played and creepy enough, while not nearly as memorable as what was done by the ever so intense Terry O'Quinn.

Even if the film is close to competent, it also fails where so many unoriginal horror movies do. There is a so bad it hurts jump scare, with a cat no less, which caused me to punch my own cat in retaliation. There is a moment where a window is broken in the basement using the sound of thunder as cover…because a window being smashed in and thunder sound so much alike. The family that is chosen by the stepfather has three siblings, one that would be the main focus, while oddly enough, the other two are hardly ever around, especially the younger sister who is seen no more than two or three times. Then there's the whole cell phone ringer issue that is just going to cause my blood pressure to rise if I get into it, so I'll leave it at that.

Something that stood out like a sore dick was the obvious product placement. Every character uses a Mac, which is whatever, but the one that had me shaking my head in disbelief was the amount of time the game Burnout Paradise spends on screen. There is a least three moments where the kids are shown playing it, with a close up of the screen no less, but the kicker is the game's case is actually propped up at one point, right in front of the TV in which they are using. I can somewhat give a pass to a character drinking a mountain dew or some shit, but who props up a game case in front of their television? It was painfully lame.

Being better than Prom Night isn't much of a stretch, and I think it's only better due to this version staying on the rails of the original more than Prom Night did. However, that does play into the films lack of originality, and at least Prom Night tried to be its own movie, whether or not it was awful. The Stepfather is completely predictable, and even if it wasn't a remake, it is like so many movies that have come before it, from frame one, you know exactly what will happen in the film's runtime. You know that there are characters that will question the motives of the titular character, and you know he will end their life short to keep his cover and his dream of the perfect family alive. You know that the oldest child will be weary of this new man in his family’s life, and will spend the runtime trying to figure out what this dudes deal really is. It's overly dramatic familiarity.

One thing that is definitely better about this remake compared to Prom Night is the fact that one of the two main characters is an adult. That keeps the teen aspect to a lesser degree, as he is the main focus over the eldest son. While the "teen" aspect is there, complete with shitty pop-punk-commercial-rock music, it was all slightly acceptable due to how the presence of Amber Heard (who is best known to horror fiends as the titular character in All the Boys Love Mandy Lane) is handled.

I can see where those boys are coming from after seeing The Stepfather. While this kept me interested way more than much of the film, it is oddly gratuitous and exploitative in a movie that other wise remains cookie cutter and almost safe. She's good in the movie, but her character serves no other reason than to look hot in string bikinis or to have her tits falling out the top of her shirt. And the fact that Mandy Lane has yet to see a release, but The Stepfather has, speaks volumes to the injustice that is life for the horror fan.

Poor product placement, an unoriginal and predictable premise, good looking-half naked teens, catchy pop music, easily digestible…in the end, The Stepfather is nothing short of Hollywood exploitation by way of a PG-13 rating.