House at the End of the Street: Tanks for the Mammaries

Somewhere up the road from the House on the Edge of the Park and just around the corner of The Last House on the Left, you will find the House at the End of the Street. I suppose if you were a little more optimistic, you could consider it the beginning of the street, but optimism isn’t a trait that will do much good for you going into this urinal stain of a film.    

Directed by Mark Tonderai, House at the End of the Street (or #HATES, if you’re a big Twitter user) is a psychological thriller starring Jennifer Lawrence as Elissa, a young woman with a voice so beautiful she sounds absolutely perfect whether she’s singing in the woods or a garage, but I digress. Elissa and her single, overprotective mother (played by Elisabeth Shue, who looks fantastic despite the tiredly written character) have just moved from the mean streets of Chicago to the not so mean gravel roads of some place in the woods. A place that, on the surface, seems safe, but little do they know that just four years earlier a little girl slaughtered her parents... in the HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET!

Being the new gal in the wooded ‘hood as well as being the lead singer in the sickest band in Chicago, Elissa is getting a lot of attention from all the boys, specifically a young loner type named Ryan (Max Thieriot). Ryan has a bit of a bad rep around town due to the fact that he is the oldest son of the people who were gruesomely murdered in the HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET! Worse yet, he still lives in the very house at the end of the street where his parents were killed, something that really ticks everyone off. Regardless, Elissa and Ryan hit it off, and it seems that all the negativity driven towards Ryan is unwarranted, so she’s all ready to drop her drawers for him at any minute. However, when your parents were slayed by your very own sister in the very house at the end of the street that you still live in, you are more than likely not to be trusted. Unfortunately for Elissa, this is the case.

It’s okay, though, because the power of song will protect us like a warm blanket on a winter’s day.

House at the End of the Street gets full use out of the word ‘generic’ in terms of storytelling and character development. In fact, it’s only a few dollars and a handful of good actors above a Lifetime movie, though at least most Lifetime movies can be pretty entertaining. While mostly a technically well-made film, hashtag hates is plagued by some horrific, random editing choices as well as strange attempts at stylized camerawork. I almost applaud the fact that there is an actual attempt at style, but unfortunately it’s as successful as me “attempting” to be Mr. Universe. The dialogue also shines about as brightly as sandpaper, as there are moments where characters barf out some utterly atrocious dialogue. One specific moment in particular is a scene where Elissa and her friend are talking about one of the boys in school:

Friend: “He’s a dick!”
Elissa: “He’s worse than a dick... he’s a dickhole!”
Friend: “Dickhole’s the new asshole.”

*laughter*

Me: “What the fuck.”

Moving on (and thankfully so), I feel as a member of society I am obligated to talk about one of the biggest stars of hashtag hates:

Elissa’s White Tank Top

The white tank top is THE perfect attire for the slightly dirty (but not, like, gross dirty), sweaty girl in peril, who also happens to have a very healthy amount of milk in the fridge. Oh, how the snuggly fit and slightly translucent fabric moves so gracefully around JLaw’s breasts as they swing around like a tilt-a-whirl covered by a tarp. It almost seems as if this wardrobe choice was intentionally exploiting her upper body... I mean, who needs good dialogue when you have nice titties in a tank?!

“Are you looking at my tits?!”

I’d #HATES to be so harsh on this film because it is at least bearable enough to sit through, but you still might be better off spending your time drinking toilet water. On the other hand, if you do decide to spend some time with House at the End of the Street, please feel free to try to beat my “I called the plot twist!” time of 4 minutes and 50 seconds.

In Defense of Hostel: Part II (2007)

I think it's fair to say that Eli Roth is easily one of the most divisive names among horror fans. Whether it be his films, his “Teddy fucking ballpark” acting, or even the man himself, Roth has found a way to leave an impression on horror fans that ranges from unmitigated adoration to complete repulsion. While his filmography is still in an infantile state with the amount of directorial output he has produced, Roth has made quite the impact on the genre since his 2002 debut, Cabin Fever.

Regardless of the fact that both Cabin Fever and his sophomore effort, 2005's Hostel, have split a small rift in how they are received by horror fans, Cabin Fever has a decent cult following while Hostel is the template of -- and will likely be looked back upon as a major piece of -- the genre that would come to be branded "Torture Porn." To label either Hostel or Cabin Fever as being unfairly underappreciated would be a tad unfitting, as each film has garnered a decent amount of fandom in some fashion. Nevertheless, Eli Roth has directed one other notable horror movie, and it's actually one that I truly enjoy; however, it's also a film that seems to chap the average horror fan's ass in the harshest of way, and that would be his follow up to Hostel: 2007's Hostel: Part II.

Now, I should be clear that when I say that "I truly enjoy" Hostel: Part II, I may be underplaying it a bit because, quite frankly, I very much LOVE Hostel: Part II. In fact, I find it to be one of the rare sequels that surpasses its predecessor in almost every way. Now, there's no denying the fact that Hostel: Part II is, at its core, the same story as what was found in the original. It's certainly a valid observation, but not so much a valid complaint when it's something we've seen more than once before, most notably with The Evil Dead and The Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn, for example.

Swapping out the boys for a group of young women, Hostel: Part II does somewhat follow the same premise as Hostel, but what the sequel does differently is expand upon what was done in the first movie. Most notably, it gives the audience an inside look into how Elite Hunting functions as an entity, even giving a second story arc to two men who are to poised to partake in the murders of two of the film's main protagonists. Giving a background or a backstory to characters, or what have you, in a horror sequel or a reboot often proves to be tedious and unnecessary. In the case of Hostel: Part II, it works as a fairly brilliant way to break up the monotony of that familiar plot line the girls follow, while also, and more importantly, serving an actual purpose to the story. Giving a face (and the time to go with it) to the protagonists doesn't take away from the value of the female characters, as they are clearly the focus of Hostel: Part II. Sharing the spotlight with "the killers" doesn't pull away from the focal point of this sequel; it simply works as a parallel to it. It's very much like watching a game of cat and mouse but from both points of view.

One of the things that works best in Hostel: Part II is the always lingering and uncertain threat that seems to follow the female protagonists, no matter where they are or who they're with. It's never clear exactly who can be trusted, and the fact that they're in a foreign land only compounds the danger of it all. And for me, Roth really comes through with bringing these moments to life in ways that are quite tense, keeping Hostel: Part II's horror qualities from being solely focused on the torturous aspects, which is something that was an issue (for some) with the first film.

One of the strongest moments in particular is when the film's main focus, Beth, awakens from a short nap at a geothermal spa only to find that everyone has disappeared, her belongings included. The frigid, steam-filled setting is absolutely striking and grandiose in a way where the surroundings begin to dwarf Beth, making her sudden seclusion all the more imposing. However, that seclusion is eradicated when Beth is approached by a group of men who clearly mean her harm. Suddenly, and without warning, the massive and comforting environment begins to squeeze in on her, leaving Beth with no choice but to try to escape the cage that is fastly forming around her. It's a fantastic moment, and one that shows Roth's maturity as a director.         

Something else that stands out greatly for me with Hostel: Part II are the female characters, specifically Beth, who is played fantastically by Lauren German. I think most people chalk the women of Hostel: Part II up to being no more than boobied versions of the guys from the first film. This is something I cannot completely disagree with, specifically when it comes to Bijou Phillips' character Whitney, but Beth steps out from the pack for being what I consider a fantastic example of a truly strong female character.

In many ways, Beth could be considered a final girl, except for the typical Slasher final girl is somewhat shy and non confrontational, that is, until it's their time to shine comes in the final act. Beth, on the other hand, is shown to be a headstrong and self assured woman a number of times throughout the film, and where her character ends up in the finale is mirrored by her actions throughout the movie. I think this becomes apparent during an early altercation where a scummy European guy calls Beth a "cunt." Instead of cowering away from the confrontation, she launches right back at him, flat out telling the guy to "fuck off." Beth doesn’t show even the slightest sign of being intimidated, and this plays out greatly in the final moments of the film where she takes complete control of the situation she is in, therefore allowing herself a chance to escape. And when Beth is once again referred to as a cunt, well, the results are about as bloody satisfying as it gets.  

I won't sit here and claim that Hostel: Part II is without its flaws, but all around it's a very well crafted film, and one that I consider to be quite an enjoyable watch. With the specific sub-genre that it falls into, I can accept the fact that this isn't the type of film that everyone will enjoy, but personal taste, as well as negative feelings about the director as a person, shouldn't dictate whether or not a movie is good (well, most of the time). It's not a perfect film, but it works perfectly for me, which, in the end, is all that matters. 

This look at Hostel: Part II is my contribution to Full Moon Reviews "Sequel September." Make sure you stop by Full Moon reviews for all the other sequel goodies that Fred the Wolf and others have cooked up for the month! 

Screaming in High Heels: The Rise & Fall of the Scream Queen Era

Every generation of horror fans has a specific era that they grew up with. Naturally there is a nice transitional overlap from what came before and after, but at the heart of it all there is about a decade of time that sits comfortably in the center of what each fan considers "the good ol' days." For me, personally, that time period would be the 1980s. Not only did I get the overlap of the mid-to-late '70s, but I also watched as horror evolved, and often devolved, into what might be the strangest (and most entertaining) time in horror cinema with the early 1990s. That entire time period from the mid-'70s to the mid-'90s is as gory good as it gets, and the main factor for it being such an awesome time for the genre is the bridge in between.

Horror boomed big time in the '80s, and there are a number of factors for this, most notably being the VHS format. VHS took film out of the cinemas and ushered in an era of home video that caused movie fans to go completely bananas, and at the forefront of it all was the horror genre. There was an evolution that genre cinema went through because of home video, and home video itself evolved due in large part to the popularity of genre cinema on the format. As a result, a very specific formula began to prove immensely successful (i.e. profitable) for "non-Hollywood" production companies. Video goers began to yearn for something specific from their rentals; they wanted blood and monsters; they wanted fun and entertainment; they wanted a pair of nice tits on a beautiful woman. And like a perfect storm, all of these things came together and combined to result in the birth of the Scream Queen era.

It is the almighty Scream Queen and the time in which they ruled that is the focus of 2011's Screaming in High Heels: The Rise & Fall of the Scream Queen Era, a documentary that, as promises, looks at the rise and fall of a specific group of extremely popular genre actresses: Linnea Quigley, Brinke Stevens and Michelle Bauer. Often considered some of most notable and certainly three of the most popular horror actresses of the era, "The Terrifying Trio" of Stevens, Bauer and Quigley made a major splash on the home video scene throughout the '80s and much of the '90s, completely changing the landscape of the role women played in low-budget horror. These were the women who went from being the faceless but very "healthy" background babes to being the main selling point of a slew of B-Movies in the '80s and early '90s.

Directed by Jason Paul Collum, Screaming in High Heels follows the typical talking head format that seems to be the gold standard for a majority of film related docs. Outside of the three Scream Queens and their generous insights, interviews come in the form of subject relevant film folk such as Fred Olen Ray, David DeCoteau, Kenneth J. Hall, and a handful of other people who were a part of the scene, all of whom deliver plenty of interesting stories and tidbits for the viewer to chew on. The doc runs the gamut of numerous interesting subjects that cover the era from start to finish, as each Scream Queen speaks of the incredible highs that came with their popularity as well as the negative effects that came along with doing the "types of films" the women were doing. Some of which has followed them up until this very day. The price of fame, I suppose.

For the record, I am a huge fan of film documentaries, particularly ones that are about specific genres or eras of cinema, and outside of the insightful interviews, the doc is chockfull of great movie clips, something that is often a highlight of any film documentary. Also enjoyable is seeing things like television appearances that the girls had made as well as the many ways in which they "busted" their way into pop culture.

Screaming in High Heels certainly delivers the goods by covering a lot of ground; however, while the doc is overall very satisfying, there are two problems that I have with it, one being the runtime (I like 'em long, baby!) and the other being the lack of a fanboy perspective. Now, when I say fanboy perspective, what I mean is Screaming in High Heels could have used some commentary from a celebrity horror fan like an Eli Roth, an Adam Green or whoever could step to the plate and bring that solid fanboy perspective that I, as a fan, can relate to. And in doing so, the runtime of just over 60 min would be stretched out a solid 15-20 min, making the doc's length less of a problem for me.

Regardless of these minor issues, I thoroughly enjoyed Screaming in High Heels: The Rise & Fall of the Scream Queen Era and have no qualms about recommending it to anyone who loves Scream Queens as well as anyone who enjoys this specific time in horror cinema.    

If you'd like to check out Screaming in High Heels for yourself, the horror cable network Chiller shows it from time-to-time, but if you want to see the unedited version, then Breaking Glass Pictures is releasing it on DVD on August 28th. And, depending on your sexual preference, you might want to see this one unedited. *cough-cough lots-of-boobs cough-cough!*

The Red House (1947): Trespassing into Womanhood

Based on the novel by George Agnew Chamberlain, 1947’s The Red House is, on the surface, a fairly straight forward thriller that focuses on the dangers of jealousy and the secrets and lies that can come from contained lust. The film stars legendary actor Edward G. Robinson as Pete Morgan, who with the help of his sister Ellen (Judith Anderson) has raised a girl named Meg (Allene Roberts) from an abandoned baby girl to a teenager climbing towards adulthood. Despite their unusual situation, their family unit is quite stable; however, things begin to change for the family when Mr. Morgan, who has lived much of his life as a cripple, decides to hire one of Meg’s schoolmates, a young man named Nath (Lon McCallister), to help with some of his daily choirs.

Nath is the kind of boy who could be considered a popular kid. A good-looking young man who has a lot of charm and as much tenacity to go with it. He has a bright future, he’s eager to work and he even has himself a very attractive girlfriend named Tibby (Julie London), who loves him as much as he loves her. His character greatly contrasts that of Meg, who is painted as socially inept, but for no other reason than she is simply a little shy and certainly sheltered. It is revealed early on that her odd family situation is cause for gossip filled whispers at her high school. The chit-chat is not necessarily a direct result of how she carries herself socially but more a result of her personal home life. Regardless, she is very innocent to the world in almost every way; it’s a characteristic that she exudes from her very being and how she presents herself.

While shy, Meg is at an age where naivety brings about an intense curiosity of the world outside of the one she has always lived in. It is this curiosity that is prodded by Nath who, after learning that the surrounding woods near the Morgan’s home is plagued by some sort of unnatural danger, decides to investigate. Despite the numerous warnings given by Mr. Morgan, Nath is driven by his own brand of curiosity, and Meg is quick to follow Nath in his quest to learn more about what wicked things haunt the woods and what answers lie within the Red House.

For much of the film, there is a bit of a power struggle between the persistent Nath and the adamant Mr. Morgan. Mr. Morgan constantly asks Nath to just stay away from the woods. But despite Mr. Morgan’s warnings of the danger they present, and regardless of the proper head that he carries on his shoulders, Nath is too stubborn and, to a point, too egotistical to listen. While Mr. Morgan is not at all okay with Nath’s persistence, he is more concerned for the safety of Meg, who he has clearly been protecting from the secrets of the Red House and possibly the real reason she is as sheltered as she is. Nath’s desire to explore rubs off on Meg, and for Meg this is more than just a little adventure, which is what scares Mr. Morgan most.

While there is much to be said story wise about director Delmer Daves’ The Red House, what makes it stand out as being more than your basic, albeit well made, thriller is the complexity of the characters. It’s what really sets the film apart, specifically with the characters of Nath and Meg, who carry a level of subtext worthy of completely overtaking my attention in this review.

The character I find to be most interesting is Meg, who is driven by a desire to learn about what secrets are being kept from her and how they might affect her past, and Nath is the catalyst that sets her on this path. However, this runs parallel to a budding sexual subtext, where Meg is not only exploring her past, she is exploring her own individuality both as a woman and as a sexual being. And again, Nath is clearly the catalyst in this situation, too.

This all plays right into Mr. Morgan, who clearly perceives Meg as a daughter and fears that she will be greatly hurt by what she can learn from the past. Despite the fact that he is basically only her caretaker, Meg looks at Mr. Morgan as a father figure, and she is very much treated like daddy’s little girl, regardless of whether she actually is or not. Meg is growing into a woman, and as is the case with almost every girl who matures into womanhood, she is gravitating away from someone who has been her protective father figure to someone who can give her more than fatherly love. Deep down, this is what I believe truly frightens Mr. Morgan about Meg and Nath's growing relationship.

While her budding sexuality is a clear subtextual character trait, Meg is never exploited in a sexual fashion or any fashion whatsoever. In fact, she remains pure sexually and, more importantly, as a character throughout the film. Meg's curiosity about her past and as a sexual creature is played off innocently, and when in contrast to the more outwardly lustful character of Tibby (Nath's girlfriend), her character’s arc and structure benefit from it. She becomes the character that the viewer (or at least me, to be more specific) and Nath come to fall in love with, and this is indeed a natural progression throughout the film.

With her expressive doe like eyes that feel as if they are staring directly into your soul with a loving innocence, Meg is a character who slowly takes over the film by becoming the character that the viewer cares about most. In my opinion, falling for Meg is a necessity for The Red House to be successful, and it gives the film a density that helps it be much more than a mere thriller. It's the story of a woman becoming a woman, on her own terms and without the constraints of authority.

Answer Me, You Maggot!: Nightmare - The VHS Board Game

I recently stumbled on this video for the Australian VHS board game, Nightmare, which came on the scene in 1991 and apparently took Australia by storm. The result of Nightmare's popularity can be seen in the video below, which includes a promotional video, a few commercials and a handful of other promotional material, all of which is nothing short of completely magnificent.

And when I say magnificent, I mean, there are some serious dance parties involved here, and all I can wonder after watching this video is where the hell was I when this was all going on? Like, I would have totally killed that dance floor back in '91, straight moving my hips for the love of horror and VHS! But alas, my mad moves and infectious grooves were kept at bay here in the states, only to dream of that one day when they could be unleashed in front of The Gatekeeper!

Check out this video… it's seriously awesome. 

Salute Your Shorts: Creak

Written and directed by Luther Bhogal-jones, Creak is the first film to come from Sincerely, Psychopath productions' new Disposable Screams banner, which will be focusing on a series of short horror films. Assuming you've already watched the short before reading this, you more than likely have already figured out Creak is an extremely short film that comes in at just about five minutes - minus the credits.

There isn't much here to break down, as Creak is fairly straightforward in its narrative. As someone who watches a fair share of shorts, both jean and horror, I really appreciate when a short film can dish out some food for thought in a less than ample amount of time. Alternatively, I also enjoy a short that can simply tell a quick, stripped-down tale of terror, and that is what Creak does. Creak doesn't necessarily bring anything to the table that hasn't been seen or done before, nor is it something filled with any sort of actual depth, but what it does do is provide some impressive lighting and editing techniques.

There is definitely a level of professional skill shown with Creak, and I think it's safe to say I'll be keeping tabs on what ever shorts come out of Sincerely, Psychopath's camp, both jean and horror. This would especially be the case with their upcoming short, Knock Knock, which Bhogal-jones describes as "a Bava/Argento inspired affair."

Check out Sincerely, Psychopath's Facebook page to keep track and learn more about future projects. 

20/20 VCR Horror: How VCRs Destroyed America's Youth!

This is a 20/20 piece that aired in 1987 (or at least I believe it's from 1987) that shed much needed light on the 'VCR Horrors' that shattered the lives of children across America, turning them into sadistic serial murderers and rapists. Please, be warned, what you are about to see is filled with more vicious hyperbole than one should ever endure in one sitting.

"Graphic orgies of blood and violence!"

"It's always a female victim, and it's generally in a sexual context"

Dear god, if it wasn't for this informative news report, we all would've been screwed by this point. Imagine if 20/20 hadn't run this story, warning parents about little Suzy and Tommy attending these "gross out parties," the world would be littered with rabid males foaming at the mouth, while the female population would have drastically dropped due to a rash of rape and murder. Certainly a far cry from that cute and cuddly Frankenstein film from 1931 or that shower scene in 1960's Psycho.

It's interesting watching something like this news report, or any one of the many slanderous stories that came from the era covering similar subject matters concerning horror films and their impact on society (Siskel & Ebert or Morton Downey Jr. taking on Slasher films, for example). It brings back the frustrations of a time when censorship ran as rampant as masked serial killers, the MPAA was destroying art in the name of the lord, horror magazines were pulled from shelves to cool off some angry childless adult, and the only ones left to suffer were the fans, who wanted nothing more than to enjoy the genre we love best.

On the other hand, though, when I see a piece like this, it also reminds me of how fucking awesome the '80s were for horror fans. Never was the genre more popular than during the VHS boom, and the censorship and being all pissed off about it is something I look back on quite fondly, to be honest. The controversy surrounding a handful of horror films stirred up incredible interest in those movies for many of us, and the unattainability of certain tapes only made them more desirable. The censorship of the era gave fans something to be passionate about and, in some capacity, may have formed my youthful rebellious ways, which is something I can say is and will always be, a part of my nature.

So fuck you, 20/20. We're still here and so aren't the movies we love, and - outside of that one time behind a Cumberland Farms after buying a chilly dog and a pack of menthols - I have never attempted to rape or murder anyone.

Splice's Flawed Finale

As much as I enjoyed Vincenzo Natali's Sci-fi Horror hybrid, Splice, the film is littered with a number of minor issues that, for me, can be overlooked in the big scheme of things. However, one major problem I have with the film - and something that truly holds it back, in my opinion - is the final act where the viewer is given the long awaited opportunity to see what the man-made monster, Dren (Delphine Chanéac), is truly capable of. Obviously, this will be a complete spoiler, so go away if you've not already seen the movie. Don't get all pissy about it…you can come back later on after you've seen the movie. Anyway, as you know, Splice ends with a scene where it is believed that Dren - the creature created by Genetic engineers, Clive (Adrien Brody) and Elsa (Sarah Polley) - is dead. Clive and Elsa take Dren's body and bury it outside of their secluded farmhouse where they had been hiding Dren from the always-pesky pesky-people that love to do pesky things. You know the type.   

Soon afterwards, Clive and Elsa's poorly fleshed-out boss, William Barlow, shows up along with Clive's brother and co-worker, Gavin, when Dren - who underwent a metamorphosis that transformed her from a female, to a male - suddenly attacks both men. After killing both Barlow and Gavin, Dren goes on to rape Elsa and kill Clive after he stabs her with a branch. Elsa delivers the final blow with a rock to the head and that would seem to do it for Dren. Now, I should mention that this whole scene is very well put together - outside of the ridiculously handled rape, of course - and should work in a way that is a sort of a payoff for the slow moving, character driven time spent leading up to this action filled finale. The wooded setting is absolutely gorgeous, with how the moon's rays cast ominous shadows, illuminating the snow-covered ground to make for quite the incredible backdrop for a scene of violence and action.

So, where exactly does my problem lie with the ending of Splice? Well, as I mentioned earlier, before Dren attacks she makes a drastic transformation into a male. She becomes a different creature (despite being played by the same actress), and it's very clear that the monster known as Dren is not present in any real way that translates to film (because her internal thoughts and feelings clearly do not translate to celluloid). All of the time spent with Splice is time spent with Dren as she is. A female. We watch her grow and mature into what may be one of the finest looking monsters I have seen in quite some time. A truly original creature that is almost, dare I say it, sexy (I know, gross), but in a way that is dangerous and frightening at the same time. Dren has a horrifying elegance as a monster that goes well beyond Splice as a film, and it's a complete shame to sit through an entire movie with this wonderful creation, only to have it taken away at the last minute for the sake of a plot device.

And what was that plot device again? Earlier in the film, Clive and Elsa's purple booger experiment goes awry when the female hybrid creature they created turns into a male and the two purple boogers kill each other. This would seem to be the clue that Dren would also swap sexes, but the question is, why? Why does the purple booger have to change into a male to become volatile? Is it to show that the male is more aggressive than the female thus the male Dren attack scene at the film's end? Dren already showed intense signs of intense aggression and a lack of rational thought, so that throws that theory out the window. The only reasonable explanation to make Dren a man is solely to impregnate Elsa. Regardless of it serving the purpose of a cliffhanger/plot-twist, I really do not see any reason why Dren, as was, couldn't be capable of impregnating someone herself. 

To ask your audience to suspend their disbelief and accept the fact that a female gendered science experiment, complete with a serious phallic symbol, could impregnate a human woman, is not the tallest of orders. No one knows how this created creature would mate, procreate, or do anything for that matter. If anything, I find it more believable to just have Dren be able to do this because she isn't a human and can quickly adapt to move her new brand of species forward. Evolution for the sake of survival. Her aggression, as well as that of the purple boogers, can be as simple as that, an experiment that resulted in chaos, which is sort of the film's point, correct?! Therefor, this entire unnecessary plot point serves no real purpose but to try to be smart, but instead takes away a major piece of the puzzle from what is essentially a monster film. It takes away the monster.

What sayeth you?!

Adrien Brody…Scream King?

It recently dawned on me that Adrien Brody has really started to emerge as a full-fledged genre actor as of late. Since winning an Oscar for his role in Roman Polanski's The Pianist in 2002, he has appeared in numerous horror related films, with some of them being high profile, while others where somewhat less than so. In 2004, he put forth a fabulous performance in The Village, a film that has its issues and its detractors but is one that I personally love. The following year, he popped up in a giant remake of a giant monster movie, with Peter Jackson’s incredibly flawed King Kong, quickly followed by the underrated thriller, The Jacket that same year.

Considered terrible by most horror fans, Brody even showed up in an Argento film in 2009 with Giallo, a movie I have yet to see and am really in no rush to either based off what I have heard. Still, it's an Argento movie, and it gives a shred of horror cred to the actor in a way. But what really brings all of this actors work to my attention, is what he has on slate this year alone, with at least two of his films being much anticipated horror movies. The very promising Splice is just around the bend and looks to bring us a type of film we haven't seen in theaters in quite some time. Based off the new TV spots, the movie looks like it will deliver, and I believe that horror fans are pretty excited for the film, as I know I am.

What is even more anticipated than Splice is this year’s return of the dreaded one (plus some), with Predators, a movie that is by far one of the highest profile genre films of the year. Even with both of these big horror movies on the horizon, he still has another film due out in 2010 with the remake of 2001's Das Experiment, aptly titled, The Experiment. That's three horror movies in one year, two of which are definitely being released wide like your mom. Now, I think Brody is, most of the time, an excellent actor, and to have him doing as much work in the field of horror as he is doing is a great thing.

In a genre (and medium) that has become overly prettified over the last decade or so, it's nice to see an actor who can act, is respected and slightly awkward looking. Awkward as in, he looks kind of like the horse from Ren & Stimpy. So here's my question to you…is Adrien Brody carving himself a nice little niche as a horror icon, or am I completely crazy?

The Apocalypse Continues. Still.

Rarely do I post only one single trailer, but I wanted to spend a little extra time and give this first look at Resident Evil: Afterlife, the attention it deserves (?). So, if you haven't seen the trailer (or even if you have), check it out, then I'll meet you right after to talk about what we saw! Kay? 

Alright, there is quite a bit to take in with this one, so I'm going to go over a few key things that stand out for me in this trailer. Fittingly, these things are the definition of what the series is and has been, which can almost be broken up into two categories.

I'll start with the good…

Mila Jovovich: Of course, the first thing to mention is seeing the return of Mila Jovovich, who is maybe the biggest draw for most fans of the series. She still looks great and I can feel comfortable in assuming that she will be whopping dat ass in style, as she always does.

Style: Something else I noticed was the visual style of the film. There are a few key shots that look stunning, namely the shot of the Hollywood sign and the one when Alice is jumping from the rooftop. It's an awesome look and the colors and texture almost look like the mate painting backgrounds of yesteryear.

REAL 3-D: I have a major distaste for the need to use the third dimension in EVERY film that comes out. As it was in the 80's, it has become nothing but a gimmick and a means to get the unsuspecting to spend way too much money for a movie that gains nothing from the "next level in cinema!" However, most of these films that are so called 3-D, are imposter conversions of the format and look terrible, but when a movie is crafted specifically for 3-D, it will no doubt look fantastic. Plus, it is that super duper 3-D being used, which we'll be coming back to a little later on.  

MONSTERS!: The last thing that really stuck out was that badass gigantic dude with that burly axe (who I believe is from the fifth game in the series), who looks like he could make up for the folly that was Nemises in Resident Evil: Apocalypse. 

Now, those are some of the positive things about this trailer, next I'll go over the corny and very stereotypical, yet awesome, aspects of the trailer...

Blu Blockers: In a completely original move, there's a dude that throws his super-cool sunglasses at the camera and for the fullest effect, it's done in slow-mo. I am fully expecting that they will explode all up in, or land perfectly on, someone's face. Either way is fine with me.

Flip You!: I noticed that there's a run-up-a-wall to back-flip, to land-on-knee, look-up, ready-to-pounce move. Always a classic and a staple of any cheesy action movie.

Born to Run: I saw at least one shot with characters running away from an explosion. I have a feeling that this will happen at least 19 times in Afterlife…anything less, would be a felony. 

Trinity Who?: Notice that jumping through a window, while shooting a gun in slow-mo Matrix move? Me too, but Afterlife is upping the ante by having TWO people jump through a window, shooting guns in slow-mo! Whoa.

We Will Rock You!: I'd be silly if I didn't mention there is some much needed, thumpin' techno rock music, just to add a little edge!

REAL 3-D: Now, how do I know that Resident Evil: Afterlife is doing 3-D the right way? Well, that might have something to do with the TRIPLE NAME DROP!!! of James Cameron, Vincent Pace and the Fusion Camera System. Shit is epic and so awful all at the same time. 

In the end, Resident Evil: Afterlife looks like it will be ridiculous and silly, but completely fun and entertaining…which is the case with all the films in the series. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this trailer (and the film), whether or not you think I'm right, or that I'm completely out of my mind. I'll go with the latter based off the fact that I just wrote 700 words about a Resident Evil trailer.

That's My Fun Day

I was recently invited to a "super special" first time screening of a film titled, Manic Monday. I actually didn't know what the movie was, what it was called, or anything about it before the screening - the only thing I knew about the film was that it was a new low budget horror movie from a first time director. It was free, I was off from work and I felt all cool going to this exclusive little event, so as long as the film didn't make me punch animals, I was more than happy to drive an hour to check it out.

Expecting very little from a movie with a title like Manic Monday, on top of never hearing anything about it beforehand, I was very surprised with what I saw. Actually, very surprised may be the understatement of the year. Directed by newcomer, Dex Baxter, Manic Monday focuses on Miranda and Peter Gamble (Elaine Barstow and Jeremy Winston), a family that goes through hell when their young daughter Heather (Melissa Jost), literally opens a portal to hell while innocently playing with a Ouija board. It sounds a little cheesy, I know, but Manic Monday is a whole lot more than that basic description I just gave you.

I'll be straight forward and say that no matter how low this film's budget is, it's one of the strongest that I have seen this year so far. Baxter has an incredible eye and Manic Monday is strikingly shot and put together in such a way that I was nearly speechless by the film's end. Fantastic pacing, tight editing, and amazing use of what was available (within the budget) are what really blew me away with this one. I believe the film was shot all in HD digital, and it does make it look a little off at first (much like Ink), but once you get going and see what is pulled off with that limitation, you completely forget.     

Story wise, Manic Monday is somewhat simplistic on the surface, but it has a lot of depth. Each of the characters are well written and the interactions between the parents and Heather are handled so realistically that there are some moments that are completely moving in the sadness of the situation with which this family is faced. Most of the actors do a proficient job playing their parts, but the stand out comes from Tom Huston, who plays the sketchy next-door neighbor, Ezekiel Smit. He is an intimidating presence and reminds me of a younger bald version of the Tall Man from the Phantasm films, mixed with some Fred Gwynne from Pet Sematary. And I must say, his raking skills are unlike any I have ever seen in a film.

There are a lot of well placed scares, many of which are enhanced by the films overall tension. I felt a sense of dread for much of the movies runtime and a lot of that had to do with how the film was crafted. One moment that I had my jaw dropped low, involved Heather getting her hand caught in a garbage disposal. For sake of spoilers, I wont reveal the details, but this is such an expertly crafted scene that made me quite uneasy and the use of Aerosmith's Dream On just pounded the terror deeper into my memory.

After the film, the attending audience learned that the studio has been keeping a veeeery tight lid on this one, so we were some of the very first people to have been able to see the film. They are trying to go with a grass roots campaign (along the lines of what was done with Paranormal Activity), to spread the word with the right community in a way to create demand for the movie. There is no definitive release date as of yet, as the screening was sort of the first word-of-mouth marketing step, but I will keep you posted with any news as far as when the trailer and official website go up. Manic Monday is a fabulous exercise in horror done right - I just hope to sweet baby eating Chuck, that no one swoops in for the remake kill.

Take a Ride to Paracinema…

…so you can read my semi-quick review of the (kinda) road horror film, Shuttle. Also, while you’re here, take a look at that badass banner that I got going on up there…yeah, badass. I must give a shout out to the wonderfully devious Rev. Fred Phantom of Midnight Confessions for making it, and only doing so for nothing more than out of the kindness of his blackened heart. Thanks a bazillion, Rev…one day, I hope you can be the one to marry me! Wait, I don't mean you and I actually get married, I just meant that I hope you perform the ceremony. Man, this is all going downhill…just head over to Paracinema…The Blog already and read my review of Shuttle!  

Totally Tubular Trailers

It seems like interesting trailers are hard to come by lately, however, there have been a few very recently that would warrant a viewing for good and/or bad reasons.

First up is the trailer for Dead Rising? Something that I had not even known about and apparently, neither did anyone else. Dead Rising is based off the game of the same title, which is a sort of homage to Romero’s Dawn of the Dead, in that it was a zombie game set in a mall. From the looks of it, this has very little in common in the game, which makes it all the more pointless, and I see not one shot from inside a mall in this entire trailer?! However, they do a great job of recreating the storage room’s from the game to a tee. I like wild and crazy Japanese movies enough, but this looks a bit meh for even me.

On a much more promising note, here is the trailer for The Last Lovecraft: The Relic of Cthulhu. Lovecraft is sacred and a major influence in horror, sometimes done well, sometimes not so much, but this is an interesting take seeing as it is a comedy set in the world of Fish Gods. I pretty much love all thing’s Lovecraft and I think this could be a fun breath of fresh air. There are a few funny moments in this trailer, but it also looks like it could be overly self referential too. Something that is not often a good thing.

One of the best of the trailers I have here for you today, comes in the form of yet another zombie film! The Dead simply looks awesome and is the type of zombie film not seen in quite some time with its African setting and great looking practical gore FX. The trailer speaks for itself.

Speaking of movie types we haven’t seen in a long time, thanks to 24Framespersecond, I learned about The Dark Lurking, which looks to get back to the old school 80’s Horror/Sci Fi/Action hybrids without the polished turd feel of films that we see nowadays. Like Doom, for example. It looks gory, expansive, gritty, and very low budget, but filled with ambition. And with a Game of Death styled plot, it could be very fun.

No, this isn’t a feature length film based off the Danzig song, instead, Mother is a Korean kind of thriller from director Joon-Ho Bong, who is best known for the giant monster movie, The Host. I’ve heard pretty good things about this one and with the directors previous work, I am certainly interested in checking it out. Actually, I think I may have posted the Korean trailer for this one in an old Totally Tubular Trailers, but this is the official U.S. trailer, therefore the reason for posting it here and now.

Some great trailers and I look forward to at least four of these movies…how about you?

Family Matters

Just when you thought Falcon’s parents were insane, let me introduce you to Mum & Dad. Parents with incredibly high values and even higher expectations from their kids, but these aren’t pageant mom’s we’re talking about here folks. Instead of making their kids learn dance moves, go tanning, and wear bedazzled sparkle motion inspired outfits, Mum & Dad expect their kids to provide them with new children to support their sadistic habits. The entire family lives near an airport, where Dad and both his children Birdy (Ainsley Howard) and Elbie (Toby Alexander) also work. The family makes extra cash and keep’s their wardrobe fresh by stealing from the cargo holds and offices at the airport - which is also where they find new brothers and sisters to bring home to expand this loving family.

Lena (Toby Alexander), a Polish immigrant who just moved to the area, makes acquaintances with Birdy while working together at the airport. Birdy tries to invite Lena out for drinks, but Lena isn’t interested and just wants to head home after her long day at work. Unfortunately for Lena, she misses her bus ride back home and Birdy talks Lena into coming home with her and Elbie to try and get a ride from there. Lena reluctantly agrees and goes to their house, which turns out to be a very big mistake when she meets Birdy and Elbie’s Mum & Dad.     

What looks like a normal set of parents on the surface, Mum & Dad are actually a demented couple of people with a skewed view of what it means to be a family. After drugging and imprisoning Lena, she is explained the rules of the home. Basically, if she is a good girl, she will have a roof over her head, food on the table, and clothes on her back. If she misbehaves, she will be left to the devices of Dad, a homicidal maniac who doubles as a sexual deviant. Dad spends a lot of his time behind closed doors doing unspeakable things to previous bad children, which is only slightly seen at first, but it is clear that you want absolutely nothing to do with what he is up to. Mum, looks at Lena as her new daughter and shows how much she loves her by scarring her body with sharp instruments which are referred to as “battle wounds.” Seems like a pretty shitty thing, but if Lena doesn’t go along with it and resists the torture in any way, that would be considered misbehaving and lead to some alone time spent with Dad.

Mum & Dad is a 2008 British film written and directed by feature length first timer, Steven Sheil. Sheil does a solid job for a newb and has a strong sense of movie making ability. He successfully creates tension for most of the running time as there is always a lurking fear that Dad might snap at any moment. Mum & Dad is a torture porn film (a term I am iffy about…actually, I kinda hate it) in how the story unfolds for the protagonist as well as how the film looks stylistically. There are the dingy, dirty dungeon looking bedrooms that you would expect from a movie of this genre, but there is also a contrasting other aspect of their home that looks very prim and proper. Very much like Mum & Dad themselves. A nice glossy veneer, but filled with madness and chaos just beneath the surface.

Everything is lit nicely and there’s this very creepy and effectively odd score that is less musical and more of a pulsating sound - like feedback or static radio signal. Some of the things in this movie are unsurprisingly VERY harsh, but that’s to be expected with a film of this nature. This isn’t like a Martyrs harsh (or a Martyrs good), but there are some very sick moments and Lena is constantly physically and mentally abused throughout the movies runtime. There is one scene in particular involving Lena, a suitcase, a mallet, and a very unhappy Dad that is a little on the tough side to watch. Some of the scenes involving Mum and her torturous habits are jarring, especially in how she administers them in such a loving way.  Heck, even at the dinner table nothing is sacred and while being set in a very normal looking kitchen, instead of BBC or Soccer playing on the tele,  there is hardcore porno on.

Dido Miles who plays Mum and Perry Benson as Dad are both fantastic in there roles and play some of the most callous and merciless parents ever to appear on screen. John and Kate Never seemed like such great parents all of the sudden when watching these two go to work. Both of the children are pretty good with Ainsley Howard showing a strong performance as the manipulative Birdy - Toby Alexander as Elbie is decent, but he doesn’t have much to do since his character doesn’t speak. Of course, Mum & Dad hinges on Olga Fedori as Lena and she does a nice job playing a very physically demanding role, and it’s hard not to find yourself hoping she will refrain from making any mistakes and pissing off the crazed parents.

Overall the movie is well paced, but after a while it starts to get a little tiring and I began losing some interest around the end of the second act. While I do enjoy some of the films that this genre type has to offer, watching a movie like this can be a little taxing with the whole punish, torture, abuse, rinse, repeat. However, the last twenty five minutes or so make some of the slump more than bearable. Starting with the most demented Christmas celebration ever my eyes have witnessed, complete with human decorations and all, Mum & Dad hits a wicked high with its insanity, which then leads to a fantastic finale that totally pays off.

In the end, Mum & Dad is a solid film made for a very modest budget (£100,000 in British pounds, which equals to roughly 160 thousand U.S. dollars) and does a lot with a very little thanks to some great direction by Steven Sheil and solid acting from the cast. There are a few points where the film gets a little stale and if you’re not a big fan of torture porn styled films, then you will more than likely not change your view after seeing Mum & Dad, therefore, you shouldn’t bother. There was enough positive in the movie for me to enjoy it overall and the end is what sealed the deal for me in how the events unfolded and concluded in a very satisfying fashion. If you can handle seeing a father nut in an organ he used to masturbate, only to see it ooze out a little when he’s done, then you should know whether or not you would want to see Mum & Dad.   torture

Totally Tubular Trailers!

It has been a while since I posted a bunch of trailers, so here I am, posting a bunch of trailers that are of interest to me and hopefully to your foxy little ass. Great batch though, with a few promising ones, along with a few that are promising to be good. Never can trust a hoe, don't ya know...now on with it already!

First up is the trailer for the Indian film Porkkalam, which translates to Battlefield in English and is written and directed by first timer, Bandi Saroj Kumar. No real details as far as plot goes, which is a little wiggity-wack, but the writer/director promises that this will be revolutionary movie for the Indian film market with it's high-voltage action that strays away from fantasy and is grounded in reality. While the trailer is pretty dope, there is no action to be seen...it's all build up. Can this build up lead to a massive climax? It would be nice.



Next, we got a Russian horror film known as Phobos: Club of Fear! Really? That's your secondary title? "Phobos: Bar of Scared" Even the plot isn't too appetizing with a bunch of jerk offs going to a club, that unbeknownst to them, is an underground bomb shelter...in disguise! When this BOMB club's giant blast door slams shut, the club kids are trapped in total darkness. Now, they are forced to use their glow sticks for light, instead of for fun. I made that last part up. Lame title, lame plot, but the trailer is interesting enough for me to keep it in the eaten babies room long enough to show it to you guys.



If there is one thing I hate, it's "From the Producers of Lassie, comes blah, blah, blah..." However, I do love me a Werewolf movie and the Producers of Dog Soldiers brings us a new one titled, 13 Hrs (or Hours or whatever). The easiest way to describe the idea and plot to 13 Hrs is it’s Cabin Fever, with Werewolves instead of a flesh-eating virus. Malfoy from Harry Potter is in it and I hope he gets his dickhead ass eaten. By a Werewolf, I mean.



Rounding out tonight’s terrible trailer event comes The Reeds. Directed by Nick Cohen, The Reeds was just announced as the seventh pick for After Dark Films Horrorfest: 8 Films to Die For. Another group of 20-year-olds in this one, but instead of a house, or a sick club, these ones are out for a weekend boating trip through the Norfolk Broads. Things get complicated when they get lost in the vast reedy tidewaters, where unknown forces begin to terrorize the lost and terrified group. The trailer is promising and it looks like a survival film of sorts, but what are the characters surviving exactly? We'll find out January 29th of next year when 8 Films rolls around again.



Also, here is a brand spanking new photo from The Reeds...hot chick+gun=I'm in!

That's all I got for ya...until next time!

The Glamourous Side of Hammer

When people think of Hammer films, they think dignity, respect, atmospheric horror films, elegance, and class. When people think of Hammer films, they think of great actors like Peter Cushing, and Christopher Lee, performers of the highest degree and some of cinemas finest. When some people think of Hammer films, well, they just cannot help but think how bangin' those women were in those movies! I would be a little bit of "all of the above," but my whole reason for being here this fine and frigid evening is to talk about the incredible ladies of Hammer studios, the beautiful women that graced the silver screen and the hearts of many a young man and woman.

I recently got my hands on Marcus Hearn's Hammer Glamour (Titan Books), the 160 sticky page tribute to the beauties of Hammer Horror over its reign of cinema terror. Filled to the tippity top with rare and unpublished full color photographs from Hammer's archives and private collections, Hammer Glamour is a lavish celebration of cinemas most amazing women. There are plenty of interviews, some of them new and each actress gets a nice insightful retrospect talking about their careers inside and out of the Hammer studio system.

If there is one thing I love, beside busty women, it is documentaries, books and behind the scenes of film, film history and how things have come to be where they are today. Hammer has one hell of a history and to learn the female aspect of it is quite fascinating. The stories of how films were sold based off a good looking, new starlet on some fake poster for a film not yet written is incredibly interesting. Hammer Glamour and the women behind it were a major part of Hammer's success and they could almost be looked at as the unsung heroines that pushed the company and their films popularity just that one-step further than they did with just the characters of Dracula, or Frankenstein. Hammer intrigued many young people with the threat of monsters and horror, but in a different way, these films also intrigued many a youth with the beauties that were to be found within each and every film.

Some of the interviews are very candid and honest, with some very likable women, others are a little tougher to enjoy, as some of them were not really into doing "horror" movies, which is as always, a let down. What really stands out though, are the photos and there are an abundance of amazing pictures of each and every lady in this book with some very nice candid behind the scenes shots to be viewed. One of my favorites is a behind the scenes shot of Christopher Lee and Stephanie Beacham from 1972's Dracula A.D. where it's clear that Beacham must have said some sort of corny joke and is dying from laughter about it, while Lee has a look on his face as if he cannot believe what she just said. Very candid and kinda cute, it's the type of photo that makes a book like Hammer Glamour work beyond the just photos of good looking girls.

As for the ladies themselves, well, most all of the important ones are here and it just does not get any better than having them go in alphabetical order. Why? Because you start off with the almighty Ursula Andress at A and the book finishes with W and that W can only stand for one woman...Raquel Welch. Talk about perfect 10 bookends! Those being two of my favorites and probably two of the best-known women to come through the Hammer ranks, it's very interesting hearing their thoughts on their Hammer past. My personal favorite of all these women? Well, that comes from the last of the Hammer movies and that's Nastassja Kinski from the film, To The Devil...A Daughter. Cat People indeed.

The presentation is top notch all around, as are the women, so if you're a fan of Hammer films, horror history, and mad hot babes, or even just one of the three, Hammer Glamour is a must.