tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8235923248137948919.post7506525965630899516..comments2024-01-27T03:29:09.226-05:00Comments on Chuck Norris Ate My Baby: An Expendable DirectorMatt-suzakahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16215962688591291944noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8235923248137948919.post-61869479504668060112011-03-25T08:07:23.121-04:002011-03-25T08:07:23.121-04:00I apologize for being a douche bag. The batteries...I apologize for being a douche bag. The batteries for the vibrator I had up my ass went dead and I get cranky when I am not being stimulated rectally while leaving snarky comments on internet blogs. Gotta go now. My sister's home and my peep hole beckons me. Where'd I leave my lube?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8235923248137948919.post-49412651852493440752011-03-14T22:56:00.394-04:002011-03-14T22:56:00.394-04:00Thanks Christine! The dialogue was pretty awful, t...Thanks Christine! The dialogue was pretty awful, though, I actually kind of liked how terrible it was! It's one of those things where you simply cannot believe that what they came up with was their best option!Matt-suzakahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16215962688591291944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8235923248137948919.post-40103521466051371672011-03-13T18:02:34.295-04:002011-03-13T18:02:34.295-04:00Matt-
I had a lot of issues with The Expendables. ...Matt-<br />I had a lot of issues with The Expendables. And one of the big ones is the fight you referenced between Li & Lundgren. It didn't look nearly as awe inspiring as it should have.<br />I can not forgive the dialogue. <br />Great post. Way to take a stand!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8235923248137948919.post-40025110773361470162011-03-12T20:13:30.747-05:002011-03-12T20:13:30.747-05:00Astro: Yeah, I think I may have talked about it (U...Astro: Yeah, I think I may have talked about it (U3R!) too much but it's hard not to! By the way, I loved the second film, especially pimp Boyka ruling the cafeteria like a fucking god! <br /><br />I think we are pretty much on the same page with The Expendables as I too enjoyed the ending more than I did the rest of the film, and that has to do with the action being much better. It still is very flawed, but there was enough awesomeness and overall insanity to make the ending a ton of fun. <br /><br />On that note, where did your blog go?!<br /><br />Anonymous: I appreciate the time you have taken out of your busy day to leave such a sweet and well thought out comment. I know that taking time away from masturbating to Facebook pictures of girls that will never fuck you is frustrating, especially when you came all the way over here and ended up reading a pile of crap like that shit I wrote above. <br /><br />Quite frankly, it's fucking rude of me. I really didn't think about your feelings when I posted this. I should just apologize for wasting your time, especially since you had such big and important day filled with not having friends, not being liked by your family and not being attractive. It's unfair of me and I really should have factored this all in before I wrote this pile of ass.<br /><br />I hope that one day you can take a second to stop smelling you fingers and possibly stop by again, and I promise that whatever it is you read will be much better. In fact, it may even be worthy of all the real critics that focus their efforts on the web. I only ask that you mask your IP address so I don't know that you only live few hours from me. I bet Independence Lake is nice this time of year, right?<br /><br />James: I haven't seen Shepard, but I will still check it out just for the JCVD/Adkins face off, plus, I wonder how much control someone has on a DTV movie staring Van Damme? Like, could it have been an issue concerning his influence? <br /><br />I do like Ninja (but I like even the worst of action films), though I do agree that it and other films that Florentine has done are not always as good as his best movies. However, even with its flaws, Ninja has some pretty bad-ass scenes action wise. <br /><br />Undisputed III certainly does live up to the second film and is, in my opinion, better due to the action/style being all the more refined. Plus it's all Boyka all day! If and when you do see it, please let me know what you think about it. <br /><br />Emily: Ha, I was actually glad that Statham was kind of the star, which is fitting since he is the most relevant of the bunch, and I too love his little tush! <br /><br />As far as Stallone's abilities, I think it comes down to an aging director that wants to be on point with what he perceives as a modern style, one that will resonate with youth. However, he is not really sure how to do it, and may not realize that his base audience isn't really into that type of action filmmaking.Matt-suzakahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16215962688591291944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8235923248137948919.post-4791106491983462562011-03-12T12:42:49.578-05:002011-03-12T12:42:49.578-05:00Hm. I was definitely sated enough with Stathamness...Hm. I was definitely sated enough with Stathamness and giddiness to not notice any of The Expendables' flaws (other than the lack of Statham ass) but you're probably right about these points, odd because Stallone has directed some much stronger material before. I'll just take your word for it.deadlydollshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06061028044836745499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8235923248137948919.post-32465407031047278922011-03-12T10:32:43.737-05:002011-03-12T10:32:43.737-05:00The only problem I have with Florentine is he is u...The only problem I have with Florentine is he is unreliable. Undisputed II was amazing. However, Ninja and The Shepherd, which both came after Undisputed II, were awful. I don't know what the difference is, there, since most of the cast and crew for Undisputed II showed up for Ninja (did I mention Ninja was awful?).<br /><br />That said, I've been hounding Angela to watch III with me for awhile, hoping it lived up to II, so maybe now I can. Perhaps if they do give the nod to Florentine, then Stallone's watchful eye will keep the project from going south. I think Ninja's problem was it was too big and the same is probably true of Shepherd.Jameshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09318115343486156550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8235923248137948919.post-39073588704811536382011-03-12T06:43:33.226-05:002011-03-12T06:43:33.226-05:00God, this is such a horrible article. You have n...God, this is such a horrible article. You have no idea what the hell you're talking about on any level. <br /><br />Please stop writing anything, you give real critics a bad name that focus their efforts on the net.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8235923248137948919.post-77130307505462006522011-03-12T00:47:30.904-05:002011-03-12T00:47:30.904-05:00Dude, I love how you have, in recent past, made nu...Dude, I love how you have, in recent past, made numerous allusions to UNDISPUTED III. Suuuuuch a bad-ass & satisfying flick. <br /><br />I'm with you on roughly the first half of THE EXPENDABLES; I thought it woefully under-performed given its pedigree. What pulled me back from the brink and made me give an overall thumbs-up was the big finale/siege sequence where they fight their way outta the bad guys' stronghold. That part rocked ass; the way the whole film SHOULD have.J. Astrohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07572640647802774445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8235923248137948919.post-20833651588363388842011-03-11T22:37:05.971-05:002011-03-11T22:37:05.971-05:00Dylan: Yes and YES! Florentine inherently makes th...Dylan: Yes and YES! Florentine inherently makes those kinds of films on the regular and makes them better than anyone else does right now. Plus, he's always getting better at it, too. You definitely need to check out both Undisputed 2 and 3 asap! <br /><br />Karl: That excuse is used far too often. I really like hand-held in movies when the film garners it, and when it's done right, but it is not done right in The Expendables at all. It's a major break for me and has ruined a lot of films that I otherwise would have loved.<br /><br />Undisputed III is a step up from the second film on all levels. You definitely need to check it out!Matt-suzakahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16215962688591291944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8235923248137948919.post-31773285631449797292011-03-11T15:30:37.933-05:002011-03-11T15:30:37.933-05:00I agree wholeheartedly and you've really artic...I agree wholeheartedly and you've really articulated my biggest problems with The Expendables; all the pieces were there but the Michael Bay "blurry flurry" effect sadly exerted its influence over the action scenes. I've read Stallone in interviews explain this away as being purposely chaotic because it makes it more "realistic" for the audience but that's a tired excuse for a poorly shot product.<br /><br />I've not seen the third installment but Florentine showed a knack for shooting great fight scenes in Undisputed 2 and he would be a great fit.Karl Brezdinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14504898646276737567noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8235923248137948919.post-61496609679986213882011-03-11T02:44:46.201-05:002011-03-11T02:44:46.201-05:00You nailed it. I agree on every level in regards t...You nailed it. I agree on every level in regards to why The Expendables stunk. I have zero knowledge of Isaac Florentine and only peripheral knowledge of Undisputed III: Redemption. But after only 28 seconds of that clip, I'm all in. This dude needs to helm The Expendables 2 and I need to see Undisputed III: Redemption.dylanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11028029108194303584noreply@blogger.com