Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Great Story, Emily

I've had a really tough time figuring out what to dress up as for Halloween, so I took to the internet as my guide and found this news report focusing on the hottest costumes for 2010!! Boy, I sure hope it helps with some creative and original ideas that'll stand out amongst the masses!

First off, while I do dig the clown outfit, Emily Deem should really try and go as a mute. Not for Halloween so much as she should just be a mute, period.

So the first costume is brought out, and it's the Mad Hatter from that Tim Burton movie that came out. I just love how Foot Locker describes the costume as being comfortable because Jesus can wear his own pants with it. I was more or less thinking the costume sucked, because Jesus had to wear his own pants because the costume didn't come with them. While we're on it, is the hair awesome, Emily? Is it really? I'll pass on this one.

Finally, when the one costume I was waiting for the entire time makes an appearance (the Alice costume, naturally), I learn that the shoes are extra?! I totally can't afford all of that, and all the other girls at school are definitely going to laugh at me if I don't wear the right shoes. They really do make the ensemble pop.

The last costume is barely even worth mentioning as we have already seen the idiot store owner wearing it for the last two minutes. Oh, but now it's on a little girl, so it must be cute, right? Wrong. If they wanted to do a family theme, they should go as father and disappointed in her father daughter. That would be more fitting.

You know what, forget it, this stupid news report didn't help me find shit. And seriously, Emily, do you think getting a news camera wet is a good idea? Love how her lame flower joke fails when she misses the camera the first time, and she then has to reign it back in with her wit and charm. But the best part of this whole thing is the condescending female studio anchor saying "That was fun" with the excitement of someone that just found out they will be raped by an alligator everyday for the rest of their life starting in one hour.

Unless my luck should change, it looks like I might be wearing my go to costume for the 27th year in a row…



  1. Thanks, Bugg and Christine! I hope neither of you are ever raped by an alligator!

  2. Ok... yes that her standup is horrible and awkward, plus how could the hottest Halloween costumes be discussed without mentioning Kenny Powers. But most importantly, please tell me that is a legit Village People costume and not someone's Photoshopped job. I'm f'n crying in laughter right now. That's the most ridiculously hilarious thing I have ever seen. Wearing that in public would be a real head-turner.

  3. Oh my goodness. That may have been the most uncomfortable 2.5 minutes of my life. I've never pitied anyone quite so much as poor, probably seasonally employed, minimum wage earning Jesus, who looked absolutely thrilled to be standing on camera. I need to go take a shower now.

  4. what i want to be a ref, or a little ref... how adddooooorrrabblllle [say it like a mommy to a baby who pooped for the first time] i am showing tissue up my butt and going ass a ghost... kidding, wow that was harsh. maybe i will go as a squirting flower... i wish i still had my s.w.a.t. tv show plastic costume... okay i am spinning and spinning and spinning...

  5. wow, it's suppose to be "shoving" tissue... sure i go on a rant.. and cannot even spell. i am an ass... lol

  6. What Christine sputtered and a little refrain from setting the student lounge ablaze with more roarity!!!

    "If they wanted to do a family theme, they should go as father and disappointed in her father daughter." LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Love, love, love the banner, btw!

  7. Geof: I do believe that it is a real costume, which is simply amazing, if you ask me! What kid ever wanted to be a Village Person?! I mean, maybe Liberace, but that's about it!

    Emily: Can you imagine the ridicule that Jesus faced when he hung out with his boys afterward?! The look on his face is priceless!

    iZombie: You mean your ass will be a ghost? Is that like a ghost shit? You know, when you go poop and go to wipe, only to find nothing there! Love that!

    Becky: Seriously, THAT'S the line-up they came up with to show off their selection?! No wonder that dude needs to work at Foot locker part time!

    Ashlee: THANKS! I'm going to make it a tradition to come up with the ugliest banner I can every year, and this one is pretty ugly yet it still says Halloween to me!

  8. holy crap... you got it... that truly is what i was thinking... only three people in the world would have known what the hell i was talking about...
    i am "assper the friendly ghost"


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