Sunday, September 26, 2010

The Horror Hangover


The season is a changing, and with that comes a chill in the air that I find to be quite refreshing, especially when my hand is furnished with a beverage of high alcohol content. It helps fight off the germs that are all around us with all of those nasty peps wiping their nose and putting their fingers in their mouth and shit. However, too much alcohol can just open you up to allow that sickness to lay it down on you hard, resulting in one hell of a hangover. So heed my warning good people of the internet, drink and drink a lot, but stay away from people with crusty gloves or you will regret it in the morning.


With that said, if you do suffer from any sort of illness, hangover or even both, then I am here for you, every Sunday (well, almost), to help you survive the day with the warmth of a good movie (well, almost). 

We begin the hangover with a double dose of decent hyperactive action films over at USA, staring at 10:00 with Smoking Aces, followed by Shoot 'Em Up at 12:30. I enjoyed both of these films, with Shoot 'Em Up being a fun but totally moronic action movie that has an opening that is quite laugh out loud from what I remember. Smoking Aces, on the other hand, was surprisingly good and had a lot more going for it than what the movie was sold as.

If you're in the mood for some action, then USA is the place to go, if you are in the mood for something far worse, then make your way to SyFy. Their slate this fine afternoon consists of a film called Rock Monster at 1:00, followed by Ray Harryhausen's Cyclops (with Eric Roberts!) at 3:00. Now, wouldn't it have made more sense to show Cyclops at 1:00 instead of 3:00, and is that the dumbest joke I have ever crafted? The answer is to be determined…

If you might have a taste for something that is a little more on the classic side to fulfill your horror needs, the Fox Movie Channel has you covered with 1958's The Fly at 1:00 and that film's follow-up, Return of the Fly, at 3:00. Nothing can fulfill and rescue an afternoon of previous evening guilt quite like a little Vincent Price, not even a CGI Cyclops. I don't think I even have this channel, but if I did, this would be the way to go for me, as I find films from the mid-60's and before to be quite nice to relax to while couch laden. 


Now the decision is yours to make, so enjoy the day the best you can feeling the way you do, and may you pick a film that makes you feel a little better than dead. 


  1. "Return of the flyyyyy/Return of the flyyyyy
    With Vincent Priiiice/Yeah, return of the flyyy"

    Sorry, the Misfits song just popped into my head and I couldn't help myself.

    That's an OK line-up. I like SHOOT 'EM UP but I'm not sure a cut TV version could do it justice. I guess I'll have to watch it and find out. ROCK MONSTER sounds pretty awesome but I bet it sucks just like every other movie on SyFy.

  2. I like Shoot Em Up. Paul Giamatti is awesome, and besides, I want a sequel where that kid is, like, ten. Just to see how that worked out for him.

  3. I watched a bit of Rock Monster when it was on a while ago and just could not stop laughing. What a piece of crap!

  4. Aaron: SyFy has quite a few movies that have many great moments in them, but many of them are filled with way too many slow parts for them to be worth it. It can be a chore to get through them for the few good parts.

    And any reference to The Misfits is welcome around here, Aaron, so no worries!

    Simon: Giamatti plays bad so over-the-top and fun that he simply fits in perfectly with the movie.

    Speaking of that kid, did you ever see any of the viral marketing for the film? There was a viral video ad for bullet proof strollers that was pretty awesome!

  5. Girl: Just missed ya!

    The idea behind Monster Rock is pretty fun, and the monster itself looks pretty cool, but I am not surprised that the movie is a pile! I commend you for watching, though!

  6. I have a copy of Aces in my cabinet collecting dust. You reminded me that I need to open that up sometime soon. I believe there's a sequel out for it already so I guess time's a-wasting.

  7. It's certainly a solid film and worth a viewing. It has that hyperactive to the point of too much feel to it, but it avoids the pitfalls by have moments of sincerity and great humor. It very much reminds me of a Guy Ritchi film in a way.


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