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Saturday, June 5, 2010

The Horror Hangover

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If it's Sunday afternoon, than it must mean that you are this close to puking up tequila, $1 draught beer and that rooty tooty fresh 'n fruity from the night before. Luckily for you, Sunday afternoon also means it's time for The Horror Hangover!

Nothing quite says next level in fear like a Children of the Corn sequel, and that is exactly what SyFy is starting us out with this week when Children of the Corn: Revelation (2001) reveals itself at 10:00. It's the seventh and last film in the franchise (if you don't count the remake), and this time the corn is going urban when a woman finds that here apartment complex is built on the old stomping ground of the OG children of the corn. You gotta love how this trailer pimps so hard the fact that Stephen King wrote the original story that this film is based on, intercut with shots of some hot chick taking a bubble bath. Class. 

 

Speaking of class, at 10:15, Strangers On A Train (1951) pulls in for a stop at Turner Classic Movies. Strangers is such a great film and definitely a must see for any genre fan that has not seen it already. Fantastic performances, ahead of it's time and completely inventive visuals, and a great story based off Throw Mama from the Train. It's so weird how that came out after Strangers, though. It's classic Alfred Hitchock and will be treated as such on TCM, and this may be one of the best ways to watch this film, therefore, it gets my pick of the week!

Taking a nose dive in the quality department, SyFy is showing Cold Creek Manor (2003) at noon. I actually saw this movie, but it was on TV I think, and I can't really remember much about it, probably because there was nothing worth those precious brain cells of mine. I can guarantee you this, there will be mystery, suspense and lots of boredom with this one. 

In something that rubbed me as odd, at 1:30 a film titled Stick It is on ABC Family. Now, I am not sure what's going on over at this "family channel," but if I am being asked to stick it, then I shall happily oblige, but should the whole family be watching this "sticking?" I'm fine with grandma, but the kids seem a little out of place, don't cha think?

At 2:00, Lifetime Movie Network outdoes itself by showing The Return (2006), a movie that I would possibly watch, and not for a few overly dramatic laughs either. Not that I would guess it's good, but it doesn't look totally terrible either, and I don't mind me a little Sarah Michelle Gellar in the afternoon, let alone anytime for that matter. 

And our day comes to a close at 2:30 with a film that got the shaft worse than Armando Galarraga, Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist (2005) on SyFy. I actually never saw either of the Exorcist prequels that were made, but how crazy is it that all of that happened? If you don't know the history, this film was made as a prequel to the Exorcist, but the studio got cold feet and thought the movie wouldn't be well received by modern audiences with a taste for Saw. So to spice things up, they fired director Paul Schrader and hired Renny Harlin, to do a little Richard Lester inspired retooling, resulting in Exorcist: The Beginning.

Either way, it blew up in their faces and the Harlin film did terrible and they ended up releasing the Schrader version sometime afterwards. but by that point, no one was spending any more cash on another Exorcist prequel nor did anyone really care. At some point in my life, I would love to watch both films to see how different they are from each other. Still, I am sure the history is much more interesting than either of the movies.  

That does it for this Sunday kiddies, hope to see you next week, same drunk time, same drunk channel.

2 comments:

  1. I've The Exorcist: The Beginning which was not at all a bad film. Honestly, I feel 'the beginning' can be wrapped up in just one 2-hour film but these studios are constantly looking to maximize their profits.


    Same with Children of the Corn! Good Lord, were all those films made as some sort of conspiracy plot for abstinence?!

    I've DVRed Strangers On A Train at your recommendation.

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  2. I can't believe how many Children of the Corn films there have been, but someone must be watching them if so many have been made.

    And I hope you dig Strangers, Ashlee! I'm sure you will and you have to let me know what you think of it when you do see it.

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