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Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Horror Hangover

hangover

It would be an understatement to say that this week's edition of The Horror Hangover is scant, however, there was just enough on TV this afternoon to warrant doing a post. So, on the show shall go! 

Starting off this fine day, SyFy takes the piss out of mother earth with a slew of natural disaster films. First, things get twisted at 11:00, with Atomic Twister (2002), followed by Earthstorm (2006) at 1:00, and finally, the day takes a rocky turn for the worse, with Asteroid (1997) at 3:00. I usually do not include SyFy natural disaster films in the hangover, but I did want to have some sort of option for you all this afternoon. It could be worse, I guess, but not much.

It isn't until 2:00 when things finally pick up with Snakes on a Plane (2006), courtesy of FX. This is one where television edits almost work in favor of the film, just for the pure fact that the dialogue is actually much more entertaining than a person simply swearing. Fun movie that is always good to drop in on at any point during it's runtime.    

Thank heaven for AMC, who brings out the big guns with The Terminator (1984) at 2:30. The Terminator is one of my favorite films and an 80's classic. A pitch perfect genre mixture of sci-fi, horror, action, and Schwarzenegger, who as the T-600 is truly frightening. Amazing movie that still holds strong to this day (much more so than T2), The Terminator is definitely my pick of the week!   

Already 4:00 and the Hangover is winding down, and it's not ending on a good note either when, I Know Who Killed Me (2007) is pooping all over TV screens thanks to Lifetime Movie Network. I haven't seen this film, but have heard nothing but awful things about it, which honestly makes me super curious to the point that I kind of want to see it. However, I cannot fathom that this film actually made it into theaters after viewing this trailer. It totally should've been a made for Lifetime movie, so it is fitting that it's on that network's movie channel. The film really should have been called, I Know Who Killed My Career and the big reveal in the end would be that it was LL all along, or her drug dealer. Either one works for me. I know one of you have seen this film, so fess up and give me the goods!

As I said, slow goings this afternoon, but at least there was something on to watch, so the day isn't a total bust. Either way, hope you all have a wonderful day, and an even better evening filled with butterfly kisses on your nose. Oh, how it tickles!

16 comments:

  1. I saw I Know Who Killed Me a few months ago expecting naively for for the big twist ending to be a decent one. Wrong and much more wrong that it indeed turned into a Lifetime movie with some of the most unimaginative storytelling and star-baiting ever was LL attempted "range." It was so bad I know even really remember the details.

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  2. The time I watched I Know Who Killed, I officially named it "Please, Someone Kill Me."

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  3. You have to watch I Know Who Killed Me for the laughs. There is this sex scene....straight out of a cheesy porn- L.Lo has one leg and one arm during it oh man oh man it's so good! Please watch it! Also for further laughs after you see it, go to the iMDB board and laugh at all the people who are trying to convince everyone of the deeper meaning out of the film. Faaaantastic.

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  4. I second Andre's request. It is terrible but in an oh so good way. Its like the slasher version of the Parent Trap.

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  5. Damnit! I don't get the LIfetime Movie Network! I watched IKWKM a while back and it's gloriously awful in so many ways, and odd because I really liked that same director's adaptation of The Lost. There is SOME merit to his use of color, but yeah. The sex scene is Showgirls worthy. And I love the fact that LiLo plays a slutty stripper but doesn't take off her clothes, and then in real life posed nude about two months after the film debuted. Oooh ooh! And the alternate ending on youtube shows just how planless everything in the script was.

    And as for Snakes On a Plane, I'd agree that a cable edit would make it more entertaining. Especially because without it, it simply sucks.

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  6. All the talk has been Mega Piranha this weekend, Im hoping there is an encore today!!

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  7. Ashlee: I can only imagine how bad LL is in it. She sure hasn't come a long way since doing Disney movies, now has she?!

    Hey!: Or, "I Know Who Took the Hard Earned Money I Spent on a Terrible Film!"

    POT!: Wasn't she in the Parent Trap remakes too? The pitch for 'I Know' to LL was all, "It's like the Parent Trap, but for slutty adults!"

    Andre and Emily: Now, why is it that both of you instantly came to mind when I was asking who had seen it?

    Andre: The IMDB boards are so fucking whacked...I was reading shit on there recently and was sucked in by the idiocy that goes on at that place. People should have to pass a test before being granted the powers of the internet. However, I am glad they are there at the same time...makes me feel better about myself!

    Also, one leg and one arm?! What?! Does a stump factor into the sex at all?

    Emily: I don't have LMN either, but if you bring up Showgirls when describing the sex scene, I am sold!

    And yes, the TV edit for Snakes is worth it just for the big line that Jackson gives...shit is amazing!

    Carl: I hadn't even heard of Mega Piranha until like a few days ago and now I see shit for it every where! I'm sure it will be on a bunch of times, and I'm sure it will have awesome special effects too!

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  8. The Parent Trap is actually really cute, and LL is really good in it (as an 11 year old, of course). I remember somewhat following her career through Entertainment Weekly in that early 21st century and conitnuously wondering when it would all end. Saw her on Regis & Kelly promoting Mean Girls and she was tlaking about how there's a website counting down the days until she turns 18. Such a silly girl. So innocent to the ways of the world, when in just one more year, she'd turn into a 40 year old prostitute with a smoker's cough and baseball glove's face.

    And ditto the IMDB comments. It's amazing how that site attracts some sort of weird population of uber idiots.

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  9. I didn't think I Know Who Killed Me was that bad...
    But it's been a while.

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  10. I actually enjoyed I Know Who Killed Me in a kinda corny Giallo-esque kinda way, there's lots of use of heavy colors and filters throughout, making things interesting visually even when the story is amazingly ridiculous.

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  11. If I didn't have a real hangover, I would have commented on The Horror Hangover sooner. I actually watched the first half of Terminator on AMC today. And that Lohan move is god awful...most notable is the potential gimp sex that almost happens.

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  12. Emily: I think that may be a comment that goes into the golden comment hall of fame. Baseball glove face is so funny, because it's true!

    Christine: Hmmm...are you just trying to trick me into watching it?! Not that I don't believe you! You did me right with P2!

    Mob: Interesting, Emily mentioned the use of colors and I am a huge fan of captivating color in a film, so that may call for a hair of attention alone. And a nice visual palate, plus a ridiculous story really does sound like the description for a Giallo!

    Geof: The Terminator is so good and like First Blood, I can just put it on at anytime and start watching it! This gimp sex scene really has my interest piqued...maybe I should fast track a viewing of I Know Who Killed Me!

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  13. The gimp sex doesn't "almost" happen it HAPPENS. It's so awkward because the mother is downstairs washing dishes and washes them more vigorously every time she hears a moan.

    As honorable as the intentions behind I Know Who Killed Me are, it's awful. The colors are interesting but only because it's such an obvious color (bright blue)--the color scheme is almost too prominent, kind of like color schemes and symbolism for dummies. I'm not saying if you like the color scheme you're a dummy, I'm saying that the way it was presented was very mindless.

    Bottom line is the story line is too outrageous and poorly done to warrant a serious viewing. It's--as I said laughable.

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  14. Andre's right, but don't let that put you off of checking out The Lost. Or, for that matter, I Know Who Killed Me.

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  15. Hehe yes, you HAVE to watch it. I'm also curious about The Lost now---thanks Emily!

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  16. I was under the impression that it was on instant view, but sadly, it isn't. Between the two of you, I am convinced that I will enjoy it at least for being awful. I'll add it to my mile long queue and hope that it pops up on instant view...a TV version may take away from gimp sex with ma dukes downstairs. So funny!

    The Lost is in my queue and I have been eager to check it out, especially after the rave review it got over at Freddy in Space and I know you have suggested it in the past, Emily.

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