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Sunday, April 4, 2010

The Horror Hangover

hangover

Hoppity hop, bitches! It's Easter, which must mean it's Sunday, so that must mean it's time for…The Horror Hangover! And guess what? It is! So, pick up that remote with your nasty chocolate covered fingers, and lets get started already!

11:00 starts things off long and thick with Anaconda (1997) on TBS. I love nature run amuck and giant animal films, so even though Anaconda is a little less than good, I still get a kick out of it. A giant snake, Ice Cube as the token black guy with street 'tude, and Jon Voight chewing up more than even the anaconda…what's not to enjoy? Don't answer that.

Next up at 1:00, FX has the perfect Easter movie with Constantine (2005). Constantine is one of those films that people seem to enjoy for the most part, but few fully embrace it. I personally think the movie is great and it's one of the few films that Reeves is pretty good in (kind of). For the most part, it's gorgeously shot with lots of nice visuals, and there are a handful of great scenes. There are also some very solid performances, but a few too many throwaway characters, which may be the film's biggest flaw. Still, it's a great movie with a lot of interesting things going on in it and it's certainly worth a viewing this afternoon.  

At 1:00 on Spike, while you are enjoying your afternoon on the couch, some people are spending it In Hell (2003), namely Jean-Claude Van Damme and one of the greatest defensive football players of all-time, Lawrence Taylor (aka the real L.T.). I have seen this movie before and I remember thinking it was surprisingly decent, but I remember very little about it. I more than likely watched it on cable while nursing a hangover, so that could be the reason for my lack of memory. I would watch it again if that says anything, so I feel confident in having it featured on the Hangover today. 

Also at 1:00, prepare to serve your planet with Starship Troopers (1997) on TBS. It's 100% Verhoeven, so it's 50% tongue-in-cheek social commentary, mixed with 50% awesome Sci Fi/Action fun! I'm having trouble choosing a pick of the week, but I think Starship Troopers is THE definition of a perfect Hangover movie, so it shall be my choice!  

Following Starship Troopers, at 3:00, Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (2008) is on TBS. I have never even seen the second Troopers' film, so I have no clue if either of the sequels are any good. However, Casper is back, so that might make this a worthy sequel. Or not. 

Finishing off the afternoon, at 3:30, 30 Days of Night (2007) is on FX. I loved 30 Days when I saw it in theaters, but when I watched it again on DVD, I lost that loving feeling. Great setting, nice visual palate, blood thirsty vampires, some positive gore, all the makings for a great horror film. Unfortunately, the vampires are so lame with their stupid sounding language and need to have their mouths open all the time. They embarrass themselves acting the way they do with their pointless growling at the camera. The story progression is handled poorly, it's super clich├ęd, and I HATE Ben Foster in this film. Overall, a mediocre vampire movie, at best.  

That does it for this edition of The Horror Hangover…hope you all have a great Sunday and GO RED SOX!

5 comments:

  1. Ben Foster speaks very highly of you, Matt.

    I was so hoping for a picture of a drunken rabbit, and as always, good sir, you do not disappoint. Happy Easter!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I actually really enjoyed Starship Troopers 3. 2 is kind of rubbish, but 3 brings back the satire (this time of religion) and the Van Dien! Jesus would be proud. Or offended.

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  3. I couldn't even finish 30 Days of Night. Maybe it was just bad timing on my end but I remained somewhat unimpressed and it was probably because of the pace.

    Plus, Ben Foster lost mad points with me because of he played one of the most irritating characters on Six Feet Under!

    I know, I know, I should learn to swallow petty hangups.

    Surprised there aren't any Easter-themed genre films.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I always have a soft spot for Anaconda,something about it,whenever its on..I always end up watching it

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  5. Senski: You too, or now I should say, hope you had a good one! And tell Ben I am sorry.

    Emily: The clear satirical vibe in the trailer is actually what makes it look like a strong sequel. So good to know it's decent!

    And Jesus lives in fear of the Casp, so I think he is proud, against his will!

    Ashlee: I remember the pacing being a mess too and the film gets very slow for a huge portion of the middle. Movie kinda sucks.

    And Ben Foster's character on Six Feet Under was incredibly annoying, but Six Feet Under is one of the greatest TV shows EVER!!!

    Also, Emily did something about Easter-themed genre films...here is a link! http://www.popsyndicate.com/column/story/7_horror_films_to_put_in_your_easter_basket

    Erik: Yeah, it's not good, but it's a good time. It's fun to watch and great movie to waste the day away with.

    ReplyDelete

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