Friday, April 2, 2010

Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party!: Cool as Ice Edition!


Nothing quite says Ninja like one Mr. Vanilla Ice. Much like a stealth assassin, he snuck past your better judgment and made his way into your boom box, and before you could say NO!, you were playing that funky music and shaving lines into the side of your head (You, not me. Okay, maybe me.). Like a Ninja, he was also a master of disguise, as he was able to convinced America that he was a rapper that came with a certain level of street cred. Much like a Ninja, Vanilla has now snuck past Chuck (he was eating) and made his way onto Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party, with the song, Ninja Rap!

Go Ninja, go Ninja, GO!!!

Ninja Rap was written and performed by Robert Matthew Van Winkle for 1991's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze. Vanilla even makes an appearance in the film itself and performs the song at a club for the movie's action filled finale. While Ooze kind of sucks in comparison to the first and very fun Turtles film, it does have many positive things: Ernie Reyes Jr., Super Shredder, a much hotter April O'Neil, and of course, the Ninja Rap ending! Nothing quite says commercial like getting the hottest sucker to perform a song for your movie, in your movie and what it says about that performer is all that needs to be said. Naw mean?

Still, sucker sell-out or not, I love every second of it! This video is gold from second one with Rob doing the Go Ninja cheer, and all with some super Hip-Hop hand gestures. It shows that even a thug can have fun once in a while too. I also love just how hard he dances…it's like he really means what he's rapping about and to not dance spastically would be holding in his love for Ninja Turtles. You just can't fight back a love like that, and the only way to get it out is with hard and quick head turns that go from left to right. Of course, the lyrics are also quite amazing, with my favorite line being: "Did you ever see a turtle get down?!" It's not my favorite because it's sooo corny…nope, it's my favorite because I have seen a turtle get down, so I can totally relate. I do think the best part of this entire clip is the end, when Robert talks about his experience doing the song and his role in the film. Keep it clean, make it Ice, and Vanilla did just that. Yup-yup, he sure did.


  1. Oh Matt. Oh. Oh. Oh.

    I love you. Really and truly.

    Haven't seen that in years and now I question all those years. My gosh. Gold doesn't begin to capture its essence! I thought I was sold on the frenetic punch roll, but it's the final pose being held by the turtles that cemented it. Only downside is the look in Ice's eyes in that final moment.
    "Ice ice baby is in full effect. Turtles 2. Watch it. Yup."
    just look at his deflated expression at the end of that statement. It's beautiful.

  2. Nine-year old me loved TMNT and, sadly, loved Vanilla Ice. This was one of the greatest cinematic moments of my pre-teen years. Only second to seeing Gizmo team-up with Hulk Hogan the year before.

    I think I may love you too, Matt. How could I not?

  3. What's funny, Emily, I came here to tell Matt I loved him for posting this. I kinda feel sorry for Ice considering what I know about how his career went. He was never gonna be Eminem or anything, but I kinda think he could have been a lot less of a joke had been allowed to be who he was.

    Anyway, bad as it is, I loved TMNT 2 for Ernie Reyes Jr and all the super corny jokes.

  4. Are you in my fuckin' head or what? I Twittered/Tweeted last night about this movie. Did you know Kevin Nash played Super Shredder in the movie? I had no idea!

  5. I love you all, can I borrow some cash?

    Emily: I told you it would be a good one...for a minute I thought it would not get up till next week with blogger actin' a fool.

    I'm so glad you picked up on Vanilla's eyes. I almost brought it up, but he often has an odd and confused look in his eyes. It's like a sadness, mixed with mild retardation, mixed with rapist.

    Also, his pelvic thrust could get a bitch pregnant!

    Silence: I saw it in the theaters at 13 with a bunch of friends. Being the dorky kids we were, we left the theater and in the parking lot, we were doing lame karate moves and singing portions of this song! We so thought we were so cool!

    Eskie: I was thinking about how sad it was for him as I was putting this together. Even after being packaged and marketed, he became so successful, causing many in the hip-hop community to try and tear him down do to jealousy. When that happened, he felt he had to save face and claim street cred by saying he lived in the hood and was shot...and that just made things worse for him! I can't believe I'm talking Vanilla Ice so passionately right now!

    POT!: Even stranger is I started writing this last night! We are connected!

    I did read somewhere in my travels putting this post together that Nash was in the film. I never knew that before, but I'm not surprised...Super Shredder was jacked!

  6. It took me a minute to go, "Oooohhhh, I remember this song!"

    Not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing. I was more of a fan of his parodical impersonators on In Living Color but a smart marketing move from the Turtles 2 folks. I'm pretty sure I saw the flick once and once only in the theatre with my summer camp crew. That's what us city kids did besides swim in public pools and move for cars while playing kickball.

    The song was like a viral mantra in my head and the film I agree, not as good as the first but I love it all because it occured before puberty.

  7. I still enjoy the film for the nostalgia of it all, plus I'll always have a massive soft spot for the Turtles property.

    The one impression I remember from In Living Color was when Jim Carrey did that one where he said the line: "I told the world I was stabbed in the butt, but it was a toilet paper cut!" Shit was so funny!


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