Sunday, February 28, 2010

The Horror Hangover


Well, it’s Sunday afternoon, your dry heaving, your lungs feel like you smoked ten packs of butts, and your underwear is on backwards…that must mean it’s time for The Horror Hangover!

First up on the karate chopping block, comes a day of Stephen King made for TV mayhem over at SyFy. Starting out with part one of Stephen King’s The Langoliers (1995) at 9:00, followed up with the conclusion at 11:00. If you’re still hankering for some King action after The Langoliers, Part one of Stephen King’s The Tommyknockers (1993) is on at 1:00, with it’s conclusion at 3:00. That’s a 9-5 day of King, a full day of madness, if you will.



If you aren’t down with the crown, then ABC Family put's 'em in a body bag with an all day marathon of Karate Kid movies! Kicking things off with William Zabka’s The Karate Kid (1984) at 10:00, followed by The Karate Kid Part II (1986) at 12:30, then moving onto The Karate Kid Part III at 3:00, and finally finishing things off with The Next Karate Kid (1994) at 5:30. I love The Karate Kid…it’s a fact. The first two films are just fantastically fun movies that I hold near and dear to my heart and I still want to get my self a yellow outfit like the one Chozen wore, just so I can show up to parties on a zip line. I even love the third movie, but that is in a more cheesy, American Ninja way. Fourth film? Eh. Seriously, dude…there is no better way to spend a day feeling like Miyagi after a night of sake, than to spend it with The Karate Kid!


Alright, now that the all-dayers are out of the way, we can move onto Assault on Precinct 13 (2005), which is playing on FX at 10:30. It’s not a terrible movie by any stretch, but it is a remake that added nothing to what was done (with very little) in the original. It is the prime example of a remake that has no real purpose, but it’s watchable and Drea de Matteo is pretty hot. Ethan Hawke can eat it, though. Why does that guy get movie roles?


At 2:05, IFC is showing Primer (2004), a film I have never seen, but really want to, as I have heard very good things about it from many people. It’s a complex micro-budget Science Fiction film about time travel and at a scant 77 minutes, Primer is honored with my pick of the week. And just an FYI, it’s also available on Netflix instant view for anyone that doesn’t get a chance to check it out today.


3:00 has us finishing off our day with a wet fart, with Escape From L.A. (1996) on AMC. ‘Cause nothing says movie classic, quite like Escape From L.A.! The movie is such a pile, but I can’t help but get a kick out of Snake surfing and playing a little b-ball!


Okay baby boomers…I’m out of here. I have to go put on my gi and get ready for the Karate Kid marathon, so I’ll see you all on the flip side!


  1. I totally down for some Karate Kid. I haven't seen part 2 and 3 in years. I never did see the remake of Precinct 13, may check that out as well. I love Escape From LA--no matter how awful it is.

  2. I have a guilty love obsession with the Next Karate Kid and I'm not afraid to tell everyone.

  3. Dude, watch PRIMER today. You really have no excuse. It's a film I've seen 3 or 4 times, each time a treat.

  4. Not gonna lie. I will most likely be enjoying a little Snake Plisskin on a surfboard action this rainy Sunday.

  5. Rev: The Karate Kid 3 has a bad guy with a pony tail if that tells you anything! And Escape is just so terrible, but it is hard not to enjoy it for all of it's awfulness. Precinct 13 is worth a watch and like I said, you wont get anything out of it, but it's a perfectly competent film.

    Andre: Ya know, I hate Hilary Swank with a passion, but the thought of revisiting Next seems like it could be fun. I can't imagine how amazingly cheesy it is now...shit it was amazingly cheesy back then. I remember her having some pretty powerful moves and being able to jump onto cars and shit.

    Marty: I would love to, but I don't get IFC, which is quite the travesty to be honest with you. I will get to it eventually as everyone talks very highly of the movie. I can't believe it was only budgeted at 7k!

    Emily: Seriously, you can't beat it. It's such a funny movie because there are some great shots and awesome music, and then things like the basketball scene happen and in a serious tone! I might watch it too!

  6. Cable-less here. I do have Sons of Anarchy Season 1 sitting around on TV, but I suspect after one episode that I may not make it past 3 of 'em - but gonna give it a chance. Then, back to the 1500 movies I still haven't watched yet :(

  7. seeing Snake in Escape from LA is a reason to get drunk. barely a cure.

  8. Somehow, I never did get the chance to see either of those King films. I might just have to get in on that action if I hurry!

  9. Yes and she dances/does karate to the Cranberries with the Monks. PLUS it takes place in Boston/suburbs of Boston. It's the greatest! Oh and Michael Ironside is the scary guy.

  10. Damocles: Man, 1500?! No cable kinda sucks, but then again, if you have that many movies, who needs it! I've heard that Sons is pretty good, but have never seen it myself. I do enjoy most of the FX TV shows like The Shield and Always Sunny, so maybe it will get better!

    wiec?: I can see where you're coming from, I remember seeing the movie in theaters and hating it with such a passion. For me it's one of those films that you start to enjoy for how bad it is after a while.

    Carl: I have seen The Tommyknockers, but that was quite some time ago. I always enjoy the King television stuff...they aren't always great, but there is some entertainment to be found.

    Andre: Wow, it has been a long time since I've seen it then, I remember the Ironside, but not dancing to the Cranberries with Monks. I take it back, I like the movie the best of the quadrilogy! Still hate Swank, though.

  11. Matt,

    So I guess I'm going to be the random question person but as you brought up Stephen King...I watched Room 1408 in the U.S. and I saw it again in Europe, and it had 2 different endings. One he lives (the European version) and the other he dies. I must say the one where he lives has a creepier ending. Have you seen these?

    Also, speaking of endings, I hated the ending of The Mist. I don't mind the fact that he had to kill his son to save him but the fact that the military came literally 2 seconds later was BS. I wonder if the book has the same or different ending?
    I would love to hear if you agree or disagree.

  12. God help me, I have a shameless soft spot for all things John Carpenter.

    And I loved The Karate Kid. It was one of those movies that everyone was watching bootleg in the 80's so it was always on. I'm not hip to seeing Hilary Swank be... Hilary Swank so I'll skip that last one. And this new one with Will Smith's son looks blah...

    I thought The Stand was on this Sunday too. Probably got my schedules confused.

  13. V: I did see 1408 and the version that I saw, he dies in it. The one I watched was the director's cut of the film, which has a different ending than the theatrical U.S. release where he lives. I have not seen the version where he lives, but it is included on the special edition. Many people that have seen both versions like the theatrical cut better, so I may have to check out that cut for myself because I did enjoy the film for the most part.

    I am a pretty big fan of The Mist, but that is one film that really divides horror fans right down the middle. People either hare, or love that ending, or a portion of it at least. I do know that the book has a different ending, one that doesn't include the military from what I know. I personally like the ending, but whether or not I like it, I do think that the military showing up takes away from the impact of him killing his son. If you did like the movie overall though, you should check out the black and white version...has a very cool feel and look to it. Very retro sci fi.

    Thanks for the great comment!

    Ashlee: I feel the same way about Carpenter, Ashlee, even his lesser films are still enjoyable to an extent.

    And The Karate Kid was THE movie back in the day and I can literally watch it every time it's on TV! I will be honest with you though, I want nothing more than to hate the remake and I have a major dislike for Will Smith (due to his many poor movie choices) post-Fresh Prince and that transfers to his son for some reason.

    However, I do love Jackie Chan and think he's a great choice to play Miyagi. Also, I recently saw the newest trailer, and I kinda thought it looked okay...I'm hanging my head so low in embarrassment right now.

  14. lol The Next Karate Kid! I forgot that existed.

    Escape from L.A. - My favorite part is when the JAWS ride attacks Snake about 15 minutes in. Don't know why I always think of that. And BC rocks as well.

  15. I watched the Langoliers and, in fact, couldn't stop watching it even though it was kind of boring. It's an interestingly boring movie. I like Stephen King in spite of his hatred of adverbs, which I also really deeply truly like. lol.

  16. Ha, you certainly do! I find most film adaptations of King's work are entertaining to a point, even the lesser films. I have a strange soft spot for Dreamcatcher and Secret Window...both messy films, but I love them for whatever reason.


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