As if being half in the bag isn’t a good enough excuse to stay in today, it is frackin’ cold out pretty much everywhere, which is all the more reason to stay in, snuggle up right next to me, and let me guide you through the great things that are on television today. Okay, maybe great is stretching it a bit, but at least good…kinda. I have a pretty solid and interesting Horror Hangover to get you through the agony of alcohol poisoning this Sunday afternoon, so wipe the crust from yer eyes…it’s time to begin.
Starting off at 10:00 AM The Skulls (2000) is on AMC. I saw bits and pieces of this movie and it is pretty terrible, but movies like this always seem to keep me entertained in a guilty pleasure type of way. Perfect to watch whilst hanging mad hard, The Skulls is like a Full Moon movie with a budget and a few stars. The Skulls! What a name!
Also at 10:00 SyFy kicks The Skulls in The Balls with Dark Breed (1996). You know, I said that The Skulls would be adequate Hangover material, but after seeing the trailer for Dark Breed, there is only one way to go! I think this may be my pick of the week – you can’t beat 90’s Sci Fi cheese, melted on a warm piece of gore-met bread!
12:00 noon and SyFy is still going strong with Living Hell (2008). I actually have seen this movie available on Netflix instant watch a million times (that’s a lot!), but under the title Organizm. I just shrugged it off, but it does actually look kind of fun in a B-Movie way. It stars that dude that ate cum off his hand in The Doom Generation and also played the killer in the fantastic remake of Prom Night.
At 2:00, SyFy is continuing to bring the pain with Heatstroke (2008)…and when I say bring the pain, I mean it. This pic from the film should say it all.May the lord bless you SyFy, for you are truly the greatest thing ever created.
Speaking of the greatest, at 3:00 Death Wish V: The Face of Death (1994) is playing on ION. When I said earlier that Dark Breed may be my pick of the week, I knew that it wasn’t the only one, because I knew that a Death Wish movie was on. I’m so sneaky! Even older than shit, Bronson will knock yo ass out and I love it!
Ending the Hangover with a bang, at 4:00 The Golden Child (1986) is on Comedy Central. I love and have seen The Golden Child a ton of times. It’s Eddie Murphy, when he was funny, in a horror movie - and not just a horror movie, but an occult horror movie! It’s funny, it’s totally ridiculous, and “I want the knife…Pleeeeease!” Is still funny as shit. My sweet brother Numpsay, I love this movie!
That’ll do her for today baby eaters…I hope you found some positive guidance this Sunday and Go Patriots!