Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Three More Days Till Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...

I went and put up a big fat baby ass with a pumpkin painted on it for my header in the spirit of the last week of Chucktober and the final and insanely sad moments before Halloween passes us a candle in the wind. You know for a fact that baby ass is gonna be pumpkin pie for a certain bearded male with roundhouse kick capability, but till the season is over, safe that ass is. As always, I have had an okay Halloween, filled with a lot of excitement and a sliver of letdown for whatever lame reasons that decide to come up and ruin things.

I was off from work on Thursday and did whatever I do when not working (kicking a ton of ass and tanning). When Sunday rolled around, I was out of work remarkably early, so I thought, "I can go to one of the two local Haunted Houses tonight!" Nope. The mother fucking Haunted Houses are closed on Sundays - and here's the kicker...they're open on Thursdays! So I could have went to both of the local haunts in one day, but I would have never thought that a "weekend attraction" would be open on a weekday, let alone closed on a Sunday.

Being that I moved not too long ago, I got a new job, which is good, right? Yeah, good until you walk in and see a sign asking that no employees take off Halloween, or the day beforehand for that matter. I can begrudgingly deal with that a little more as I understand it's the weekend and I am new, so who am I really to complain. However, I will complain about the fact that two out of three pumpkins were snagged from my house the other night! I feel like I've been raped. By a shark. I shouldn't get too's not like I've never taken a pumpkin from a house before, but mixed in with the Haunted House thing, it just really chaps my ass.

On the bright side, I am very happy that I can safely leave the rest of my Halloween decorations outside without anyone messing with them - and pumpkins of gigantic sizes are on sale at Walfart for $1. $1! Oh yeah, I did have a can of soup in the witches cauldron out in front to keep it from blowing away in the wind, but those cock-hairs took that too. At least it was vegetable soup, so no real loss I fact, I should thank them.

There have been plenty of ups to go with my downs however. I'm pretty psyched that I was able to see a few good horror films in theaters lately with Zombieland last week and Paranormal Activity tonight (reviews soon to follow). As always with this time of year, there are a ton of great Halloween programs on TV and I cannot get enough of it! Nothing says Halloween quite like Theo Huxtable in a Dracula custom topped off with a jheri curl wig! There is also a ton of Halloween fun to check out in the blog world too.

Over at Dinner With Max Jenke, my good buddy Jeff has a "Trick or Trailers" countdown to Halloween going on right this very second. He has some awesome trailers and his nostalgic thoughts on them are always entertaining. Every ones favorite Bugg, as in T.L. Bugg of The Lightning Bug's Lair has his own countdown titled: The Halloween Top 13: The Sequel! This is where he counts down his 13 favorite Horror sequels of all time and his picks have been mighty fine thus far. Also, keep a look out, as yours truly will be showing up on there with my own list of favorite horror sequels too! There are a ton of other blogs doing great Halloween shit, but too many for me to mention in just one post.

However, I would like to direct you all over to our good friends (and proud Baby Eaters!) at Planet of Terror who have an interview with Will Devokees, a 20 year old filmmaker who is finishing up his very first feature film, Macabre Medicine. This Grindhouse homage is self-financed by the young filmmaker and we here at Chuck Norris Ate My Baby are big supporters of any one that has the tenacity to even attempt to make their own movie...independent Horror is the driving force of creativity, so support it I shall!

I gotta get moving...the Scream Awards are on and that will probably be kind of mediocre I'm sure, but at least it will have some cool shit on it mixed in with the lame musical performances, so I'll check it out. Thanks for listening to my whining and bitching and I would love to hear how your Halloween holiday season is going thus far. Until then, Happy happy Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...


  1. Thanks for the shout out Matt. Your list will be up on Friday. I'm giving you the second to last spot because your list was so great, and because you're number 2 in my book. Ooh, look I made a funny (not really). I'll send you proper linkage when it goes up.

  2. No problem! Your list has been spectacular so far and I can only guess where it will end up by the end...and number 2 is better than number 3. Less wiping.

  3. Thanks for the shout out too! You rock, as always.

  4. BTW, that pic in your banner is entirely disturbing.

  5. Gosh, I'm glad I don't have epilepsy. But would that really matter if my head disinegrates into a pile of steaming creeping things?

    Halloween blues are no stranger to me. Everyone here is too cool to dress up for an actual party or give out candy to those pesky yuppie spawn. Your other option is 'hood hoppin' but then you risk getting your grab bag of goodies jacked.

    "A pimp stole my candy!"

    So I'm hosting a horror film sit-in. Bring your peace signs and worn copy of Hellraiser.

  6. POT: You are very welcome kind sir! The banner is quite frightening...I just hope that Jack 'O Lantern doesn't start talking shit. Chuck Norris may eat babies, but he does not carry wippies.

    Ashlee: A pimp stealing you candy sucks, but better than if he steals you and puts you to work!

    In my new residence, Trick or Treat is on the Sunday before Halloween and goes from 2-4! You have to leave your front light on, or no one will come - I learned that after no one came. Who has Trick or Treating on a day other than Halloween, and in the daytime nonetheless?

    A horror film sit-in sounds like it could be a lot of fun though...what movies will be showing?

  7. A shark rapist with a gimp??

    Sucks man, I hate pumpkin smashers, I would smash their friggin faces in the pumpkin then let the shark have its way with them.

  8. Yo, thanks for the shout-out! Sorry about the theft of your pumpkins - you'd think that people would be more gracious to a new neighbor! Glad you got a chance to see Zombieland and Paranormal - can't wait to hear what you thought about both.

  9. Carl: I would put peanut butter all over those jag-off kids asses and let the shark go to town! It works with dogs, so why not sharks?

    Jeff: No problem! I love those old TV ads and they bring back memories of the ads that scared the crap outta me as a kid. My Zombieland and Paranormal Activity review will be up soon...probably next week with the "craziness" of Halloween and all!


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