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Sunday, October 11, 2009

The Horror Hangover

First of all, I want to sincerely thank everyone for all the great feedback and kind words on the first edition of The Horror Hangover! You all might not have as many kind things to say after this Sunday afternoons slate of films that I have lined up for you...but I didn't have much to choose from either. Plus, you're hung-over, so you'll probably nap through half of the movies if you decide to watch any of them anyways. You would think that with Halloween creepin' and crawlin' closer by the day, there would be more decent horror films on Sunday at noontime, but that really isn't the case. So please, bear with me here.

First up at 11:00 AM we have BloodRayne II: Deliverance (2007) on Sy Fy. Directed by Uwe "I completely appreciate him" Boll, BloodRayne II takes the popular Vampire franchise (HA HA!) and plops it dead smack in the middle of the 1880's Wild West, where Rayne has to stop the vampire version of Billy the Kid (HA HA HA!) and his undead posse of vampire cowboys! I personally have learned to love and enjoy the work of cinema master, Uwe Boll, but most people hate his movies and him. If Boll's movies aren't your bag, then you may still find some fun in this one since it is on at 11:00 AM and you are probably still a little drunk from the night before. Oh, and Natassia Malthe is pretty hot too...if that's your thing.



At 12:00 PM you can double your pleasure with Twitches Too (2007) on The Disney channel! No, it's not about crack or meth addicts, but it does star Tamera and Tia Mowry, who are best known for their genre film work in the classic horror television series, Sister, Sister. I didn't bother to look up the details about the plot of Twitches Too, but I do know that you will need a double take to take in all the double trouble these two teen witch's have in store for you! Betcha that BloodRayne II ain't looking so bad now, huh?



1:00 PM brings us yet another Vampire movie with Rise: Blood Hunter (2007) palying on (thank the heavens for) Sy Fy. Rise stars the delectable Lucy Liu and Vic Mackey himself, Michael Chiklis - who puts in a performance worthy of a deli it's so hammy! I will go with Rise: Blood Hunter as your best bet for this Sundays Horror Hangover - I actually think this film is not too bad, and not that you would or should, but if expectations are in line and not too high, you will find some enjoyment out of this little Vampire film. Lucy Liu is great and there is nothing hotter than O-Ren Ishii with a set of fangs and covered in blood, well, outside of Chiklis doing his best Chiklis imitation that is.



And just before it's time for you to finally role off the couch, Prom Night (2008) is on ENC at 2:40 PM. You know all about the Prom Night remake, I did a write up for it myself over at Paracinema a few months ago, and while it inspired some good thought, it does so for the wrong reasons. The movie is pretty shit ball, but if you were up late last night doing more than drinkin' alcohol and you still just can't get up and off the couch by this time, then I guess you could watch Prom Night. Here is my question though, I have no idea what this ENC channel is...I looked it up, but it was a pain in the dick trying to find anything out about it. I think it's an Encyclopedia Channel or something? I don't know - maybe no one has ENC and therefore no one will have to be subjected to the poopieness of Prom Night "08!



Well, hopefully next Sunday will bring a little more in the quality dept. as by then we will be knee deep in Chucktober (!), but there are at least a couple of things to check out while wasting away the day this fine Sunday afternoon. Make sure to drink plenty of water!

6 comments:

  1. ENC is the Encore Movie Channel. Hopefully, few actually get it so they can skip, as you said, Matt, the awful piece of dreck which is the Prom Night remake. Rise is pretty awful, too. I could only sit through an hour of it and that was eased by Miss Easy on the Eyes, Lucy Liu. I guess I'm glad that I don't drink.;) You've been doing great work, Matt, and it's always a blast to visit your blog. Keep it up.

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  2. Great feature! Although it's been at least fifteen years or so since I had my Sundays free and clear to do nothing but watch TV so I can't participate in all the laying around. Still, based on today's line-up, it's not so bad to be busy elsewhere!

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  3. No matter how hungover I am (which sufficed to say, I'm pretty bad right now; beer and tequila is not a good combo) I refuse to watch Prom Night '08 ever again. The thought of it makes me want to (eat?) punch babies.

    The OG is stellar for the sheer awesomeness of the ridiculously long disco dance scene w/ Jamie Lee.

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  4. DO NOT WANT: Bloodrayne II.

    Curious: Rise may be a good bet, but I keep mis-staking it (w00t! I get a pun point) for the live action adaptation of BLOOD: THE LAST VAMPIRE. Might check this one out for the remaining hangover from Friday.

    Good call on the Sister, Sister = genre work comment. I caught it, and it was appreciated.

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  5. Damn my not having cable! I'd happily watch any or all of these - even the one with the twins from Sister Sister. What can I say, I'm just THAT hungover. Guess that's what happens when you mix cheap white wine with Greg Mclean's Rogue...

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  6. Hans: Thanks a gazillion...a man of your movie awesomeness giving me a compliment is more than great!

    I can't believe I didn't realize it was Encore Movie Channel...I always just thought it was Encore. I don't have it anymore, but when I had digital cable, Encore and its multiple channels were some of the best movie channels around...and they came with digital cable, so it really didn't cost anything extra (kind of). Encyclopedia Channel!

    Prom Night is crap, but like I said, I enjoyed Rise when I saw it. I didn't love it, but I was entertained by the movie at least. Though, I can't remember a thing about it, and maybe I could have been drunk when I watched it myself! So who knows. Thanks for the comment, Hans!

    Jeff: Don't act like you didn't watch Twitches Too! Movie is off the hook! I'm in the same boat as you, I am almost always working Sundays, so it's kinda ironic that I decide to start this new thing when I rarely will be able to see the movies. I'm a man of the people!

    POT: Eating babies is much better for cleaning out all the toxins, so eat on my brotha!

    Prom Night '08 is mad whack fo sho. Incidentally, I just started (but feel asleep) watching OG Prom Night last night and I haven't seen it in so many years that I kinda forgot about a lot of the movie. However, I do remember the beginning, and of course, Jaime Lee and her Dance Party worthy moves!

    Carl: No Uwe for you?! That's okay...his brand of crud is not for anyone, namely anyone outside of yours truly!

    I can see why you would get Rise and Blood mixed up title wise...I actually want to see Blood, but haven't heard great things. Let me know what you think about it (Rise) if you did decide to "hang" with it for the afternoon!

    And thanks for the Sister, Sister props! I like to think that you are the Tia to my Tamera!

    James: Ohh...cheap wine and a croc movie?! Sounds like my kinda Saturday night!

    It's okay not having cable, you will get about the same amount of entertainment out of the trailers for all of these movies either way!

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