Saturday, September 19, 2009

Knock-knock...Who's there? My Top 5 Funniest Cult Movie Moments!

Wocka wocka wocka! Thought I would take this time to compile a list of some of my favorite funny film moments. Keeping with the content that I normally post about, I will not include classic comedy scenes from the likes of Caddy Shack, or The Jerk, and other films of that ilk. Instead, I choose to do scenes from cult films that fit in with the normal Baby Eating subject matter, but even then, I will stay away from the more obvious films, such as An American Werewolf in London, or Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn. I could probably make this a top 30 list and 1 through 30 could be from Troll 2 alone, and to be honest with you, it would still probably be wicked funny. However, I cannot go the easy rout and I did put some thought into it, while also putting as much variety in the types of films these scenes stem from. And now, the list shall begin…

5. Mars Attacks - This is what it sounds like, when doves cry

I had a ton of trouble finding a shorter clip, so just fast forward to around bad. Oh, and it's in French too, but that kinda makes it funnier?!

This entire scene is comedy at its best in how it’s built up and ultimately executed, but I am more concentrating on a certain smaller moment in the fantastically funny, Tim Burton alien invasion classic, Mars Attacks. Not even sure if it’s that funny to anyone else, but to me, it’s flat out hysterical…the scene that the actual moment takes place in, is when the Martians first meet with the leaders of the world. Things seem to be going great and so far the Martians thankfully seem friendly and peaceful…that is until a silly hippie type decides to express his patchouli happiness by releasing a dove into the air in honor of peace! The shirt he is wearing and how he softly sets free the dove into the air as he says, “They came in peace” is so funny to me. Even better, is when the Martians flip out from the sight of the flying creature and immediately shoot it down, turning it into nothing more than a pile of burnt up incense. Nice job ya hippie jerk off!

4. Kung Fu Hustle - Have a knife day

Love Stephen Chow and love Kung Fu Hustle. It’s just a super fun mix of amazing Martial Arts fighting, drama, and of course, the reason why I bring it up, humor. Kung Fu Hustle, along with most the films on this list, has a ton of great comedic moments and/or scenes that could easily make this top 5 list that I have put together for you. With that said, one of my favorite comedy scenes in the film is when Sing, (played by Chow) and his good pal Bone (played by Chi Chung Lam), plan to take out the dreaded landlady to prove themselves to the almighty Axe gang. Sing and Bone are quite inept when it comes to gangbangin’ and the result is Sing being stuck with more sharp implements than Pinhead. I love how well the physical humor is done in this film and especially in this scene; one of the best moments is when Sing meets Indiana Jones’ worst fear, snakes. Perfectly executed and the look on his face is just priceless.

3. Pieces - Cobra Kai, never die!

Not unlike Troll 2, Pieces is a film that is filled with numerous funny moments. One of my personal favs is when the character of Mary (Lynda Day George) is attacked by an Asian man - that of course knows KARATE! After this jumpsuit jump-kicker gives this bitch a beat down, he just passes out!? Why? Well, you find out when Kendall (Ian James) shows up and informs Mary that the man is non other than his Kung fu professor, and as the man from Hong Kong comes to, he explains that it must have been some bad Chop Suey that he had eaten, that may have caused the lapse in judgment! After his great explanation for assaulting a woman, he just says “See you later!” to Mary and Kendall, then jogs off into the darkness as if nothing happened, with no charges pressed whatsoever. Not sure what sense that makes, but it’s fucking hysterical for sure. I think when you beat-up a pretty blond lady, you are in for a tough night in the slammer, but that’s not the case with Pieces…maybe Chris Brown could take some notes and try the bad Chop Suey excuse next time.

2. Jack Frost - Snowman does a little plowing of his own…

I haven’t seen Jack Frost in so long, but I will always remember that one scene that anyone who has watched the film will remember with great psychotic glee. I’m sure it’s obvious that I am not referring to the “Jack Frost that is getting a second chance to be the world's coolest dad... if he doesn't melt first.” I of course mean the Jack Frost with the pissed off killer snowman, and the scene is when Shannon Elizabeth uses her natural storage container to keep a certain snowman’s carrot nice and fresh. It’s one of the stupidest things I have ever seen, but it is also on of the funniest in how unbelievable the scene is. The actual moment I speak of happens at 1:50 into the provided video, (but I encourage you to watch the whole thing due to it being very entertaining) and starts with Elizabeth, who after blow-drying her hair, decides to take a bath (?). Unfortunately, for Elizabeth’s character, Jack Frost is feeling a little dirt-teh too and decides to join her so he can clean out his “misplaced” carrot…if ya know what I mean. I cannot even handle the music in this scene and the thought of a snowman raping a girl is just…a thought I thought I would never have. Thanks to Jack Frost, I have had that thought now.

1. American Movie - For the shits and for the birds

American Movie is definitely my all time favorite documentary - and a film that I have loved since the first time I was welcomed into the lives of Mark Borchardt, his family, and his bat shit crazy friends. There are a plenty of scenes I could've went with in this hysterical film, but I narrowed it down to the one when Mark is attempting to get his Uncle Bill to cooperate on a scene he is shooting for the horror masterpiece, Coven. I love Uncle Bill and think he was so awesome, and I love how irritated he constantly gets when being around his obnoxious and overbearing nephew, Mark. Uncle Bill is most annoyed here as he tries to deliver a line of dialogue with numerous unsuccessful results. “It’s all right, it’s okay, there’s something to live for, Jesus told me soooo…” is a line that Bill just can’t get right, and Mark trying to direct him isn’t making anything any easier for Uncle Bill, who would much rather chill 'til the next episode in his frighteningly filthy trailer. I don’t blame him, it is wintertime in Wisconsin, he is old and tired, and it’s take 31 already. I love that at the end of the clip, when Uncle Bill is all done saying he wont do anymore takes, Mark says “I‘m gonna see what we have to work with” like he is frustrated with Bill’s lack of cooperation…cooperation that lasted 31 takes mind you!

So, that’s my list and I’m sticking to it! Hope you had a chuckle or two, and if you have any funny moments of your own to add, please feel free.


  1. Yo, awesome picks! The American Movie scene that always gets me screaming with laughter is when they try to do the scene with the guy getting his head slammed into the cabinet door that's supposed to break on impact but never does. And they just keep bashing this guy's head into the door over and over. Classic!

  2. Jack Frost remains in my Xmas rotation with Silent Night, Deadly Night (I would add "Garbage Day!" from Part 2 on my list, actually). I'm so unbelievably happy to see you mention the most ridiculous aspect of that scene: Elizabeth blow dries her hair, then takes a bath. This bothers me more than anything that happened on film in the 1990s, possibly the 1900s!

    ooh and if you've never seen it, Jack Frost 2 is somehow more wonderful.

  3. Thanks, Jeff! That is a great scene! They attempt to score the wood, but do such a shitty job of it!

    It's even funnier that Mark is kinda cocked, and through drunken stupidity, starts punching the wood till he bleeds and he is then amazed at how poorly scored it is!

    Emily: So funny you bring up Garbage Day as I just so happened to watch that scene when I was looking for the clips for this post! So funny, and I love that bit of style with the swooping camera after he shoots that dude!

    And I too can't believe that someone thought it normal to blow dry your hair before a's like dipping your rubber in semen before using it!

    Also, I didn't even know there was a Jack Frost 2, or if I did, I never saw it...looks like I have yet another classic to add to the list of must sees!

  4. 2. Jack Frost - Snowman does a little plowing of his own…
    This line alone makes me want to see it. No, I haven't seen it... *shame*

  5. Oh my! Jack Frost 2 is all about how his babies--naturally, SNOWBALLS--terrorize the sheriff on his carribean vacation. It's HIGHLY recommended.

  6. No shame, but you have to see it, Christine! It is a classic of modern cinema! As if you didn't get that from the amazing clip that I provided!

    That plot sounds kinda familiar, but I am pretty sure I never saw it. You description is fantastic, and I now MUST see the movie right away! So funny that it's on a Caribbean vaca!

  7. "Garbage Day" should really top every list ever made, but its so awesome it must be left off to give others a fair chance. Great picks Matt, and boy was I surprised to see American Movie, an all time favorite!! I guess SLC Punk would be considered Cult in some groups, so it would have topped my list as well, but I love me some Jack Frost action. I give it 9/10 baby bones picked out of Chuck's teeth using a baby bone toothpick with a half cobra half rattlesnake attached to the end of it

  8. You really do know your awesomeness, Carl! But you did forget that the baby bone toothpick with a half cobra half rattlesnake attached to the end of dangles from a shark tooth necklace!

    And SLC Punk is a great movie and I would consider it to be a cult film, that is deserving of classic status. It also has some very funny moments, as in the Devon Sawa acid scene, and when that one guy gets all passionate about saving the whales!


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